Sue Reports are another form of sporking.

Subject: Sue Reports are another form of sporking.
Author: Lily Winterwood
Posted on: 2013-04-24 02:01:00 UTC

http://consultingsueslayer.tumblr.com/ is the Sue Report blog for BBC Sherlock that I run.

Permission isn't required to do Sue Reports; for this one I think the only requirement is that it's from the Circle of Lemmings.

Coincidentally, I know a way around the first point as well: http://221bagel.tumblr.com/post/36552413689/how-to-obtain-text-from-the-circle-of-lemmings-for
Password's circleoflemmings

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Two things. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-24 00:34:00 UTC Reply

First, I need beta readers for a series of missions that I'm writing, all set before the Blackout and meant to set up the events of the Blackout (when they're not being mission-y). One is for a Hobbit badfic, one for LotR, and one for Doctor Who/Harry Potter. SPaG and flow checkers are also welcome; please give me your email so I can add you to the respective Google doc.

Second, I notice that Deleterius, the LJ community for LotR and HP Sues, is closed. That's a pity, considering the giant piles of Sue Sludge being dredged up from the depths of the Circle of Lemmings every day (I just reported some in the fic reporting thread, under the title "The Law of Lemmings" and "The Law of Lemmings, Part Two). I'd like to start a Sue Report specifically for Circle Sues; are there people strong-willed/stomached enough to help?

Sure! by firemagic on 2013-04-25 20:58:00 UTC Reply

I think you already have my email, and I know you have my tumblr for the Sue thing. So yeah.

Also I will try and toss you some submissions in the near future.
I could help with sporkings. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-04-25 12:47:00 UTC Reply

I don't have a tumblr, though - could I just email it to you?

There is a submit function. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-25 14:32:00 UTC Reply

Have fun.

A Sporking of "Living Dead"! by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-25 04:44:00 UTC Reply

http://glaurungitcircleoflemmings.tumblr.com/post/48828710386/this-fic-makes-zombies-of-us-all

Just putting this here for anyone interested in submitting Circle sporkings to the blog.

Oh. Oh my :-D by Khaosity on 2013-04-25 20:37:00 UTC Reply

"MAIRON, YOU'RE SLEEPING IN THE OTHER TOWER TONIGHT!" And that, boys and girls, was how Mairon the Admirable became evil.
Win. All the win. Ever.

I'm up for reporting by Sevenswans on 2013-04-25 01:22:00 UTC Reply

My trusty sidekick (roommate) should probably be exposed to some of these as a suitable revenge for making me sit through the new episode of Charlie the Unicorn...

Sure, just submit a sporking here: by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-25 02:02:00 UTC Reply

http://glaurungitcircleoflemmings.tumblr.com

I love it! by Sevenswans on 2013-04-25 16:33:00 UTC Reply

... And will probably be adding to it after Thesis defense next week, because I won't be in a fit state to do anything else by then.

I'd beta, if you like? by Karen on 2013-04-24 23:05:00 UTC Reply

Up to you. I'm familiar with all the canons you mentioned.

Sure, email? (nm) by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-25 01:57:00 UTC Reply

Karen.E.DuLay@gmail.com by Karen on 2013-04-25 04:15:00 UTC Reply

I made a fake-email for online purposes. If you'd like, I can give you my real-name one via the fake-name one?

...I was raised to be paranoid about online stuff and still haven't shaken it off, even with people I /know/ I can trust.

Now your fake e-mail will be swamped next spambot invasion. by Outhra on 2013-04-25 07:28:00 UTC Reply

There's a reason nobody puts the @ signs in their e-mail addresses on the Board, and it's one I only realized was a problem myself. Before, I just took out the @ because it seemed the thing to do, and I just thought it prevented it making a link or something. But no. It's to prevent spambot incursion. Prepare...

Oooh dear by Karen on 2013-04-25 15:39:00 UTC Reply

I hope not.
Actually I've never noticed that happening. by Huinesoron on 2013-04-25 11:09:00 UTC Reply

The usual reason people don't put their emails in full on the internet in general is that spammers (not spambots) tend to trawl for email addresses to send their stuff to. That's entirely unrelated to our occasional spambot invasions.

Regardless, nowadays spam filters are usually smart enough to catch the incoming junk. I know mine is, and I've been spelling out all my email addresses for years.

hS

That changes things, though I'm not sure by how much. by Outhra on 2013-04-25 15:41:00 UTC Reply

On the plus side, now I know that the spambot invasions aren't connected to the wild spamming I've seen mentioned, and on the minus side, an individual could just be preparing to use it without there being a warning nearly as conspicuous as rampant spamming of the Board.

You're right, though, a good spam filter should catch it, or at least most of it. I just think it would be better if one didn't have to go empty out their spam folder any more than they had to, but that's just me. I don't know if most people even go in there unless they think they missed an automated e-mail they should have gotten.

Oh, and also have some vampire Frodo. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-24 04:15:00 UTC Reply

Well, it's technically just Elijah, but seriously come on, that's probably a badfic plotline somewhere.

Found one. by Outhra on 2013-04-24 04:50:00 UTC Reply

It's not technically vampire!Frodo, but he does develop a hunger for Sam's blood because of a poorly described reaction to... something. Maybe the Ring, though it really never says. The writer appears to have a grudge against the poor spacebar, and during the story creates the mini-Balrogs "hoobit" and "Strangely Gollum", as well as a version of Sam that is only a bit disapproving when blood-drinker!Frodo goes ballistic and slices at him with Sting to get his blood.

It's no legolas by laura, but I had a pretty specific category to look in, and either way, it's definitely badfic.

...Wut? by Bausiren on 2013-04-25 04:27:00 UTC Reply

That's just...really reeking of bad slash. And maybe Twific stumbling into LoTR...and speaking of that, some nice little scene between Edward and Bella...I really am overusing ellipses, aren't I?*sigh*...
I think I rather preferred vampire!Olga Kurylenko to that. (nm) by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-24 04:53:00 UTC Reply

Sorry, Lily by Pauline07 on 2013-04-24 02:55:00 UTC Reply

I would love to beta-read, but I actually have four projects on my table right now :) Sure it'll be great, though!
Love to, but- by Bausiren on 2013-04-24 02:31:00 UTC Reply

Beta-reading for someone else right now, WAY late on that,a nd should prob. get on it... and, okay, fine, Sues scare me... *hides under desk* Ah, a shiny thing. Feeling better now.
In regards to Beta Reading by Pretzel on 2013-04-24 00:43:00 UTC Reply

I'd love to help you with that!

Oh, not with the Sue Report? by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-24 00:46:00 UTC Reply

Ye lily-livered rascal, ye are.

Anyway, toss me your email and the mission you'd like to beta read (I will warn you two of the three aren't done yet at this point, but yeah).

Sue Report Question by Outhra on 2013-04-24 01:56:00 UTC Reply

Umm... the Circle won't let me copy-paste. Does this mean that for every Sue I report, the people accepting the mission will need to retype it all by hand, or is it just my laptop acting up for some reason?

Also, are you looking for Sues in particular continua? You seem to have LotR covered, but what else?

Sue Reports are another form of sporking. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-24 02:01:00 UTC Reply

http://consultingsueslayer.tumblr.com/ is the Sue Report blog for BBC Sherlock that I run.

Permission isn't required to do Sue Reports; for this one I think the only requirement is that it's from the Circle of Lemmings.

Coincidentally, I know a way around the first point as well: http://221bagel.tumblr.com/post/36552413689/how-to-obtain-text-from-the-circle-of-lemmings-for
Password's circleoflemmings

It wants a password. by Outhra on 2013-04-24 02:11:00 UTC Reply

What do I type in for that? Did you put in the wrong link by accident, or is it something I did?

it's circleoflemmings (nm) by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-24 02:11:00 UTC Reply

Hooray! It works! I don't have to retype it all! by Outhra on 2013-04-24 02:26:00 UTC Reply

It lost some of the teal that the Suethor colors her author's note with, but all of the text is there! I may need to use Google Chrome to find the source code, though; Firefox had it all horizontal, which made copy-pasting the story awful.

Oh, and I beat the old exclamation point record. After calling for her mommy, the Adventure Time Marshall Lee-lusting Guardian Angel Sue(for reference, the only other "angel" in Adventure Time was only pretending to be an angel so that she could capture and cook people who went into a certain cave system) used over forty exclamation points in a row! How is that even possible?

This is a mess. Also, if the Circle is anything to go on, Marshall Lee is Adventure Time's Legolas in terms of lust percentage, despite the fact that he only showed up in two episodes, only one of which he had any lines in. Maybe it's his plaid shirt. I never would have thought Suethors liked plaid, but it's the only thing about him that's different from all of the other minor humanoid characters.

Wait, here I am being silly and trying to apply what makes sense to a pack of Suethors. I should never try to do that.

The Sue Report is here: by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-24 05:32:00 UTC Reply

http://glaurungitcircleoflemmings.tumblr.com/

Any specific continua you'd prefer? by Outhra on 2013-04-24 06:03:00 UTC Reply

And who would narrate the report? I'm thinking I might use some of my agents-to-be, but I don't know whether there are restrictions for that sort of thing. I've only just started reading the Sue Reports, and I like their format, but I'd like a few details to make sure I don't bungle it up.

Whatever continua you can find. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-24 06:06:00 UTC Reply

Just make sure to tell me what fandom so I can tag it accordingly.

CSS has Sherlock Holmes and John Watson narrating the report, although really anyone is fair game as long as they're delineated from the text (although Tumblr doesn't provide text colours, so you really can only do two people in bold and bold underline). Sometimes people just use their own voice. I know Tawaki did Sue sporkings with different birds/Agent Tawaki.

You have Mary Sue species names listed. by Outhra on 2013-04-24 06:14:00 UTC Reply

How does that work? I know the individual species would just be improvised on a per-Sue basis, but what about the family and genus? What do those mean? Or do they mean anything?

Erp. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-24 06:16:00 UTC Reply

Puella means girl, Mulier means woman, Diabola means demon.
Most of the Sues I've classified are in the BBC Sherlock fandom and are usually young immature brats, hence the genus Puella. Mulier is used for slightly more mature sorts of Sues. Diabola is used for those really annoying and pesky vampire/werewolf/demon sorts of Sues.

I haven't had the chance to use Nymphea as a genus yet, but that exists as well, and would be used for elves/faeries/nymphs.

Would Nymphea be a good genus for a half immortal wizard? by Outhra on 2013-04-24 07:09:00 UTC Reply

Because I think I've found my target. I was all set to use the one with the angel, then I realized that it would be much more fun to spork that one as a mission.

Clarifying, hold on. by Outhra on 2013-04-24 07:13:00 UTC Reply

As in, she is one-half immortal wizard, despite the fact that the immortal wizard in question has one of the big motives behind his constant reappearances involving him never undergoing social relations in any way and being desperate to have some.

Not that she's a half-immortal wizard. Though she can fly.
Magus may be the better term there? (nm) by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-24 07:12:00 UTC Reply

*the only requirement for the fics (nm) by Lily Winterwood on 2013-04-24 02:01:00 UTC Reply

I'm not the best admin... by Pretzel on 2013-04-24 00:48:00 UTC Reply

My e-mail's over on my beta reader page on the wiki, though I think you've already got it. I'd be up for reading over any of them, to be honest, so throw whichever one you like my way.