Issues

Character request/proposal by Unconquered on 2010-03-14 03:17:00 UTC Reply

Here is my proposed characters. Personality only glossed over, as the majority will probably become apparent as the stories I hope to write progress. Any advice, stipulations, suggestions, complaints or feedback of any sort is appreciated.
This is very pre-emptive, as I don't have a clue what I'm going to write yet, but I'd like to tell what you all think.

'Mr White'
Age: Unknown
Species: He looks human (raceless, however), and acts it most of the time. That, of course, doesn't prove a thing.
Gender: Male
Partner(s): Whoever he convinces, coerces or blackmails into doing his dirty work.
Home Continuum: Won't talk about, and will have you transferred to the Eskimo Joe section if you don't stop asking questions
Department: Works as a co-ordinator, taking reports and assigning teams as a consequence.
Fandom(s): Co-ordinator, working in a range of canons. Prefers Harry Potter.
Abilities: Unspecified. He's in very good physical shape considering his apparent age, and has a flair with quick learning, but rarely shows more then that.
Weapon Of Choice: Rarely allows matters do degenerate to fisticuffs.

Appearance: Dresses in well-cared for suits, that he keeps neatly pressed, of a range of colors. He seems around his early fifties, but his long white hair and beard say different. His features are worn and craggy, lined and liver-spotted with pronounced veins. Despite this, he's about as feeble as a mountain.
Personality: Charismatic, and while he makes almost everybody hate him, they usually wind up doing what he says anyway. His immediate superiors, to their annoyance, quickly found out he was, in fact, so competent and unflappable he was indispensable in the management of the Potter fandom, and have since tolerated him. The only reason he remains out of upper management is he is happy where he is. Has a habit of giving everyone patronizing nicknames, and doesn't give his respect easily. An old hardass, he possesses less then no tact, rarely bothers with courtesy and has a habit of manipulation even when there is no point to it. Plays the game of politics in his sleep.
He is very interested in Mary Sues, some what disturbingly so, and in fact has occasionally offered insightful theories that have turned out to be true. Sometimes even researches it himself.

Alaric Ivarnsson
Age: Eleven
Species: panserbjørne
Gender: Male
Partner(s): Iori
Home Continuum: His Dark Materials
Department: Assasains. Although his way of dealing with issues is slightly less then subtle, even by assassin standards.
Fandom(s): Harry Potter
Weapon Of Choice: himself

Appearance: His fur is well groomed and cared for, far better then any other armored bears, as he can use advanced products while they make do with sea water, steam and animal fat. A few of his fangs are capped, and his eyes are blue due to contact lenses (he is slightly nearsighted as a consequence of reading with little light). He wears the uniform under his armor, which may be against regulations, but nobody seems interested in bringing that up around him.
Personality: Quite at odds with his fearsome appearance, he's a softly spoken, cautious individual, with a somewhat bookish personality. He enjoys literature, country music, the discussion of philosophy and politics (particularly earlier theories) and making utterly useless knick-knacks when he has access to a forge. He is a born collector, and has over two thousand books in his office, on every subject imaginable. It is hard to get him angry. So take the hint. Don't push him.

William Bradt
Age: Just under thirty
Species: human
Gender: Male
Partner(s):
Home Continuum: Warhammer 40K. Previous occupation as a bounty hunter.
Department: Department of Mary Sues
Multiple offenses division.
Fandom(s): Harry Potter
Weapon Of Choice: A walking arsenal. Likes knives and other sharp implements, so uses them. Including but not limited to: A Nemesis Force Pike, A red lightsaber, a spool of monomolecular wire, and Hatori Hanzo katana.

Appearance: A large man, with a heavy-looking skull and a shaved head; appears fairly brutish to most eyes, but possessed of a graceful style of movement. Trained as a Kasrkin, he always keeps is gear well maintained, and spends spare time cleaning and sharpening it. Doesn't talk to anyone unless spoken too, in which he gives a gruff, unresponsive, noncommittal answer.
Successful at undercover operations as well as those of a more overt nature, and possesses adequate detective skills. Has been accused of liking his job a little too much.

Iori Tanakka
Age: twenty two
Species: human (Asian)
Gender: Female
Partner(s): Alaric Ivarnsson
Home Continuum: Unspecified
Department: Department of Plagiarism
Fandom(s): Harry Potter
Weapon Of Choice: She has been trained in martial arts, but the real sort, so any Sue with delusions of competency can curbstomp her in a fair fight. Which is why she works with big scary Alaric Ivarnsson, who can turn any Sue who decides to push the point into a thin red smear with a cuff of his paws. It's a good system.

Appearance: A small, willowy Japanese girl. Pretty, in a plain sort of way, shoulder length hair tied back in a messy bun held in place with a tuning fork. Twitchy, hyperactive and unable to hold still for more then a few seconds. Always dresses casually, and seems ready to blurt out information, or anything else that crosses her mind. Sweet natured by personality, she tends to be the voice of reason and mercy.

Nickolai (no last name)
Age: just under forty. Prematurely aged
Species: human (Russian)
Gender: male
Partner(s): works alone
Home Continuum: claims to be from Star Trek, but has none of the associated manner, knowledge, or anything.
Department: Department of Temporal Offenses
Fandom(s): Harry Potter
Weapon Of Choice: A modified sniper automatic rifle, with a modified scope and carbine so that it can fire pretty much anything. There is no overkill. There is only the occasional need to reload.

Appearance: Always dresses in uniform, no modifications or additions. Always neat and calm. Face is very ordinary and plain, his main distinguishing mark is each hand tattooed all over the fingers and knuckles with a chaotic jumble of random letters and simple symbols. Radiates the sharp edge professionalism usually brought on by a lifetime in the army or secret service. He looks around fifty, a brawny man whose muscles are beginning the slide into fat, and a face lined and creased like old leather. His hair is left in messy bangs, a salt and pepper of stubble smatters his jaw and cheeks, and his back was so straight it seemed bent backwards. Wears small, perfect circle glasses when reading.
Personality: Be polite. Be efficient. Be professional. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet. Always be neat, never raise your voice, never complain. Always be patient, even if you get angry never let anyone see that you are. Speaks seven languages, and is teaching himself elvish. Good with machines. Never smiles or talks about himself.

Issues by Neshomeh on 2010-03-14 05:01:00 UTC Reply

I don't think you've quite grasped how things work. First of all, with only one notable exception, all Departments have a Flower Official as their Head. The Department of Personnel, which is the one in charge of assigning partners and such, is headed by the Marquis de Sod, who is not noted for relying overmuch on underlings. There is a reason the Flowers are in charge. What exactly that reason is varies depending upon who you ask, but the bottom line is that it's our canon, and we're not going to mess with it. That said, a secretary in the Department of Personnel with delusions of grandeur could make for interesting stories.

Second, partners pretty much have to be in the same department, so Alaric in the DMS and Iori in Plagiarism doesn't work. We don't really get many cases of plagiarism anyway.

Third, bear in mind that the PPC isn't about how badass the agents are. They can do badass things, but unlike Sues, they have to work for it. Alaric worries me a bit on that score because he's set up to be so much better than his canonical brethren with no explanation for why that might be. I've already covered Mr. White.

All that said, I do like the idea of a panserbjørne working with a scrawny Asian girl, and I like the setup of Nikolai as the proverbial "quiet one" with serious artillery. There are good things working there.

~Neshomeh

Re: Issues by Unconquered on 2010-03-14 08:08:00 UTC Reply

I did pick that up, and I see I've been less then clear. My appologies. To clarify:
Mr White, as I imagine him, is not upper management, he is middle, one of many beurocrats who then answers to said flowers. a link in the chain, higher then assassins but lower then flowers. As I pictured it, you have the Flowers, who are in the big offices, have board rooms, and decide the policies of their departments, then you have, about four floors down, the bureaucrats like Mr White who handle the actual running of them, dealing with paper work, reports, and passing on orders, and then you have the assassins, who actually do the work.
I might be very wrong with how the organization works,
As to the agents, I actually based them on people I know, just made them a bit more extreme and some latent budding psychological problems.

As to Alaric, the armored bears have been described as incredibly strong, however I concede I may have exaggerated it a bit.

I was less than clear myself. by Neshomeh on 2010-03-15 08:04:00 UTC Reply

My apologies also.

The thing is, while the PPC is technically a bureaucracy, it isn't like our bureaucracies. It's pretty much just the Board of Department Heads, Department Heads, Division Heads, and the agents. The various Heads might have secretaries, assistants and whatnot, but it doesn't subdivide after that, so far as I'm aware. So... unless the Department/Division Heads count, there isn't any middle management. ~~They got shipped off and crash-landed in Earth's past.~~

I suppose that's not to say that there couldn't be, but I think the hierarchy among the departments pretty much takes care of it, as far as the assignment of partners and missions. In the case of the former, pretty much everyone goes through the Marquis de Sod in Personnel (though not always). He communicates with the Heads in the other departments and arranges for placement, upon which the new agent is the problem of whatever department they end up with, and they would communicate with that Department Head for pretty much everything in the future, including reassignment (unless it were to a different department).

In the case of missions, the Spies in the Intelligence Department scout out fics beforehand and write up their reports, which go to the Sub Rosa. If it's a Sue, she sends it to the Sunflower Official, who sends it to the first available team with the requisite canon expertise. If it's bad slash, it goes to the Queen Anne's Lace, who sends it on. If it's a crossover, it goes to the Lichen, who sends it on. If none of them want it, it goes to Floaters, or possibly the Department of WTF. And so on, and so forth. And sometimes mistakes happen, which is our excuse for taking on badfics our agents wouldn't normally get, so there's no sense messing with that.

Both of the aforementioned are aided by the fact that the Flowers are telepathic and have access to ridiculously advanced computers. Heck, the computers might do more deciding than the Flowers.

I'll add the caveat that if you think you can get interesting, funny stories out of a guy somewhere in the middle of all that, then no one will object, but I don't see how it could be a position of actual power/authority without nerfing one of the Flowers, and that probably will raise objections. Which is why I mentioned delusions of grandeur. Imagined power/authority can only be amusing and therefore completely acceptable. {= )

Moving on: many agents are based on real people, often the people who write for them. That's totally cool. Even "more extreme" is cool as long as it doesn't edge into Sue/Studom.

I wasn't really concerned with Alaric's strength so much as the abilities with complex equipment and hygiene that you mentioned, because, as you also mentioned, those aren't usual for the armored bears. However, there are probably several perfectly good explanations for why he might be different, such as peer pressure from his partner and fellow agents in the case of hygiene. Also, I seem to recall that Iorek Byrnison was supposed to get them to clean up their act a bit as King, but I could be misremembering that.

Anyway. The cardinal rule of the PPC is humor, so as long as it's all for fun and fun for all, there shouldn't really be problems. It's just that I've seen a lot of new people come through with big ideas that don't follow that rule, and you DID come in guns blazing on the Wiki, so my tendency is to raise my eyebrows and maybe come off a bit harsh until I'm sure I know what's going on. Or rather, until I'm sure that YOU know what's going on. {= ) So, keep reading the Original Series and whatever other PPC stories take your fancy, keep your ideas in mind, and we'll see what happens in about a month, yes?

~Neshomeh
One other thing... by Techno-Dann on 2010-03-15 07:49:00 UTC Reply

I think it was less than clear that the reason Alaric is much better groomed than his canonical brethren is the fact that he has access to industrial-strength shampoos and a partner interested or bored enough to use it to good effect. If I'm reading what you wrote correctly, that's the only area where he's leaps and bounds ahead of canonical panserbjørne?

(As far as strength and innate metalworking ability go, yes, panserbjørne are very strong and good with metals. It's innate to the species, and not something that's easy to remove. You'll have to dance the very careful dance of how-much-is-too-much with that one, I wish you the best, as the two of them look like they'll be very interesting partners to read.)