Someone's gone and written a 'Suefic on the pit, with the 'Sue attempting to force a Legomance. The title is, and I kid you not, "Fair Wandered, Thou Makest Me Sick." A quote from the story -
"Then the sunshine burst out from behind the clouds, the birds sang, and five rainbows in previously thought to be impossible positions in the sky appeared.
Said unwelcome guest had golden hair that rippled down past her slender waist as she walked, her steps barely able to be heard. Her eyes were big and bright blue, shining as if she always had teardrops ready to fall (and for her sick purposes she probably did). Apparently she was lost – she was calling out in some foul language, presumably for help."

The story is pure genius-- and it has a sequel, with a 'Sue who has the unparalleled ability to mangle Shakespeare beyond recognition. Here's a link to the first one - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4810725/1/FairWandererThouMakestMeSick
Just click on the author's link for the second. What a great present for Mardi Gras.
-HonuWahine(sorry for the fic-spam. It was just too good to pass up.)