I've been there. I think it's right in between being completely unable to accept criticism and seriously considering what other people have to say about your work. I mean, if they're constructing a lucid counter-argument, at least they are taking the time to think about what you said, even if they can't accept its validity (yet). In a best-case scenario, in time and with perspective, they'll be able to look back and understand your point, and that will help them become more receptive to criticism in the future.

Of course, there are always times when an author has to stand up and say "No, I did that on purpose, thank you very much, and it's not my fault if you didn't get it." Sometimes that's true. But mostly it isn't. That's the part it's hard for writers to learn. {= )

~Neshomeh, who is now in a phase such that she gets annoyed when people DON'T give concrit.

Not really, at least until they have matured enough to want the help. If all they are doing is defending against your concrit, then they didn't really want it. I've been there, when I was less mature.

I don't know if you have heard of Critters or not, but they have a couple of articles on how to give crits to those writers that say they want the help, but don't respond well. According to the site, it isn't perfect with the occasional spats between authors and critters, but maybe it will help.

http://www.critters.org/whathow.ht