Subject: Shalt Not suffer
Author:
Posted on: 2013-07-30 23:55:00 UTC

This is very strange. I did find what I thought was the fic that was sporked here on FF.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5176787/Thou-Shalt-Not-Suffer .

However, the paragraphs that were misinterpreted are missing, suggesting that it was either edited afterwards, or I am thinking of a different fic. I'll describe what I remember anyway:

There is a Christian who gets her letter to Hogwarts. Obviously she is conflicted over this with the titular quote. Anyway, the important bit is that after she gets her books, her dad comes in to her room, and asks her not to read such things, which she agrees to. Later at Platform 9 3/4, she displays knowledge of the Wizarding World - I think the barrier. Her dad asks her how she knows what with her supposedly not reading the books, and -this is important- she replies "Magic?", innocently. Key word there, innocently. The Agents went NUTS. They immediately and incorrectly assumed that she literally meant that magic reached out and put the knowledge into her head, screaming "MAGIC DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!". I on the other hand got a totally different message - she read the books anyway and lied, hence the fic specifically noting the adjective 'innocently'.

Anyway that's the fic I hold a grudge over, and it's why only now am I thinking of the PPC again. From what I recall, she went on to get a telling-off from McGonagall on diversity (pointing out that the Patil twins follow Hinduism, for example),and after agreeing that that was the best bit the agents tossed the protagonist into a volcano.

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