Subject: Permission granted.
Author:
Posted on: 2009-11-25 17:30:00 UTC

Sorry this took so long. We had an early Thanksgiving with my fiance's parents, so I didn't have a lot of time.

Anyway, I don't know much about Halo, but speaking just to the writing, you'll want to watch out for little errors of punctuation and spelling, and make sure you're clear about who's who. In the second chapter, you don't really introduce Wings at all, you just drop the name in. I had to guess that it was the same boy from the first chapter, which I couldn't do until it was clear that you were following him and not just mentioning the name in passing. Remember, the readers are smart, but they can't read your mind. {= )

As for the fic, I can't really help because I don't know the fandom. Sorry. Good luck with the mission.

~Neshomeh, who wonders where the other PGs are.

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