Actually I have three: I rediscovered the third recently.

The first is this: http://dazzlemethis.wordpress.com/ It's wonderful (absolutely wonderful!) and done by a girl named Kate. Who is wonderful. Can you tell I like this blog? She picks apart all four Twilight books (she's currently on Breaking Dawn) and awards points for stupidity, red flags, and more, and points out all of the terrible things in Twilight. Including bad science, abusive relationships, gender roles, and unrealistic characterization. Just...amazing, and completely redefined my view of Twilight. And I'm still on New Moon.

The second is this guy: http://markreads.net/reviews/2010/11/complete-mark-reads-twilight-archive/ I believe Twilight was the first set of reviews he did, although now he's reviewed a ridiculously large number of books, movies, and TV shows (and, apparently, video games). He often likes what he's reviewing; but he definitely didn't like this one. (He tried My Immortal at one point, too. His reviews of that were hilarious, even though he gave up after...chapter 21, I think. Brave man.) He also did all four books, and finished them quite a while ago (ok, a year or two, something like that. Still.) Pretty good fun.

The third is this one: http://cleoland.pbworks.com/w/page/10373763/Twilight#Bookdiscussionentries I don't actually remember much (I rediscovered her in my bookmarks recently) but what I've reread is hysterical. She's definitely worth checking out. I think she may have also coined the term 'fursplosion'? Anyway, there you go. Enjoy!

They are indeed! I...am tempted to inflict this on Agent Edgar, but...he might not...be...happy. Uh. Brenda and Charlie would have no fun at all. Maybe Dawn? Or Agen_t? Or someone else altogether?

...Sparklepire!Time Lady!Agent? Sparklepire!Klingon!Agent?

...you know what, I think I'll just see if I ever have the opportunity to make this happen, and then take it from there. The mental images will be less horrifying.

(Although I'm kind of thinking Edgar and Agen_t, because Brenda and Charlie would kill each other. Dawn's another possibility, because then she could freak out everyone at SBEI...actually, that could be really fun...maybe it's the three of them! I like this idea! And Dawn thinks she can maybe hide it, but then she starts sparkling...)

Thanks for being my sounding board, Silky :) Enjoy the Twilight-snarking!

~DF

*drinks shakily* I'll...try...Oh, look, the horrific images are fading! Lovely :)

Ooohhh...there are. Believe me, there are. There's one over at Library of the Damned right now, called Twitanic, where Jack (Dawson, right?) gets turned by Carlisle. Great for snarking purposes, horrible in every other, especially as Edward is there at a time when he should be twelve years old, and Rose has been made useless. But...they exist. Or one does, anyway.

...I hate to say it, but I should probably check how they get turned. It's just a bite, right? And then if you don't get the venom out in time, it spreads and turns the victim into a vampire, complete with horrible pain? That's what I remember from the snarking...

~DF

Or venom, or something like that, and that's what causes one to turn? If I'm not mistaken, then logically, there could be an antivenin to cure Twipirism as long as it were administered soon enough, the earlier the better. Probably once the "newborn" stage is past, the change is permanent.

Of course, normal antivenins are produced by injecting animals with diluted venom and then extracting the antibodies they make from their blood, so I can only imagine getting Twipire antivenin wouldn't be an easy process. Agent Caleb or someone would have to provide the venom in the first place, and then you'd need lab subjects. There are some horses who live in the courtyard, I guess they might work. You'd probably have to take it up with Alice the meara, though.

~Neshomeh, applying logic to the illogical since 2003.

P.S. That picture is glorious and so is this thread.

The puns just write (or draw, in this case) themselves, however.