Subject: Do absolutely nothing.
Author:
Posted on: 2009-06-20 21:52:00 UTC
You stay there like an idiot, staring ahead blankly, until something hard smashes your skull like a nut and kills you instantly. Some people have no patience.
Fun fact : There is no afterlife.
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(Of course, some options must result in death or a dead-end. Otherwise, the tree will become ridiculously complex.)
I tried to leave the PPC board, but was irresistibly drawn back to it for some reason. This doesn't mean I'll stay around though, just that I'll visit once in a while.
Do you know what an Addventure is? I'd like to try one.
Usually I'm not a big fan of the tree-like layout of this message board, but it's perfect for what I have in mind now. I'll begin, and it's up to all of us to continue the tree in different directions.
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Things are rather quiet today at the PPC headquarters, and you stroll casually towards your response center with the coffee you just picked up at the cafeteria.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
The strident sound, coming from response center 392, makes you spill your hot coffee all over yourself in surprise. Swearing softly, you try to wipe the stain on your shirt without much success, then continue on your way.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
RC 392 again. Apparently, whoever works there has not acknowledged the alert. You peek into the response center. No one is there. Strange: agents usually work in pairs or trios, and a team is not supposed to leave their center unattended except during missions. And according to the console of RC 392, the agents are not on a mission.
What do you do?
- Go back to your RC. This is none of your business.
- Acknowledge the mission.
- Call a Flower. Why would a team be missing?
You push a button to stop the beeping, then look at the screen of the console. Your eyes widen in horror.
Someone has actually written badfic about the PPC. It slashes Jay and Acacia and features a Mary Sue named... Jaycacia Thornbyrd? You've heard that name before. This unspeakable abomination has supposedly been killed in canon (which, in your case, means reality), but it apparently still exists in one of the many alternate universes of fanfic.
What do you do?
- Go into the badfic alone.
- Look for a partner for this mission.
You suffer a temporary bout of sanity and levelheadedness, and realize that such a fic is too much for you alone to handle. Even with heavy flamethrowers. But who to choose, and where to go?
What do you do?
-Go to Badslash for help.
-Go to DMS for help.
-Grab a random person from the cafeteria and force them to help.
-Stay put. If you leave the RC, you'll never find it again.
You set off down the corridor, sufficiently preoccupied by the weird stuff happening to you, and in no time you find yourself in the cafeteria. You walk up to the first occupied table and try to explain your predicament, but the person at the table interrupts.
She introduces herself as Agent Cameo, which strikes you as oddly appropriate to the situation. However, you're a bit put off by the insane smile, the bright orange sunglasses hiding her eyes, and the way she's handling that neuralyzer.
What do you do?
- Try to enlist Cameo anyway
- Try the DBS
- Try the DMS
- Maybe you can go it alone after all.
Since there was no one sufficiently safe-looking around, you decide to take the mission by yourself after all. You start walking, and by an amazing feat of lack of concentration (read: borderline concussion from banging your head on the wall) actually make it back to Response Centre 392. You go inside.
Rather disturbingly, the first thing you see on entering is an open portal. The second thing is a small black box on the floor next to the portal.
-Go through the portal.
-Check the console again.
-Open the box.
Something's definitely not right here. You haven't been an Agent too long, and even you are getting very Bad vibes. You step cautiously into the RC, looking around for any disturbances and ignoring the beeps.
Nothing. Not one thing out of place or even slightly awry. No signs of struggle, or anything at all. Giving the Console a sharp whack to shut it up, you dial in a number and press a button. After several seconds, the face of the Sunflower Official appears on the screen.
Yes? What is it... he seems to realise something, doing a Plant equivalent of a double take and changing his train of questioning. Agent, that's not your RC, what are you doing there?
What do you do?
-Tell the SO the truth, reporting what you noticed.
-Chicken out and terminate the call, taking the risk of making him suspicious.
-Make something up.
"Agents are missing," you tell the Sunflower. "Who is supposed to work in this response center?"
The Flower somehow managed to frown. A frowning flower is quite a weird sight.
Let me see... Um... Three agents of the Department of Floaters. They have no names, they're only red shirts. I'll take care of finding them. As for you, answer this call while they're gone.
Without leaving you the time to argue, the Sunflower shuts off all communications.
What do you do?
- Acknowledge the mission.
- Go back to your RC.
Bugger it. It's really none of your business if they have a mission, and you're not sure what the RC's Agents are going to think if they find you here. You get up and leave, closing the door behind you.
You walk into your Response Centre. The first thing you notice is that your partner isn't here either. Strange.
You look around. Nope. They're certainly not here. What exactly is going on, anyway?
What do you do?
-Sit down and wait for something to happen.
-Check to see if anyone's in the RC next door.
- Call a Flower. Something's wrong.
You decide to check RC next door. You knock, but no one answers. You open the door to find that the room is empty, aside from its Console and a small slip of paper lying on the ground.
What do you do?
-Go back to your RC.
-Pick up the piece of paper.
-Search for other agents in HQ.
It's written: Look behind you.
What do you do?
- Look behind you
- Do absolutely nothing
You stand up slowly, still clutching the note, and reach for a convenient piece of lead pipe lying nearby. Whipping around with it raised, you shriek out your war cry-
There's nothing there.
You look down. There's another note.
What do you do?
-This is too weird. You ignore the second note and get out of there.
-You pick up the second note.
-Ignoring the note, you prepare yourself for a fight.
Well, maybe there's a party going on down at the cafeteria, or something. Anyway, it's a good chance to get some peace and quiet for a change. You settle down with a good book, and get reading.
Several minutes later, the silence is broken by a piercing, terror-filled scream echoing down the corridor. You jump to your feet - what was that?
What do you do?
-Leave your RC and run towards the scream to find out who made it, and why.
-Close the door and hide. Everybody knows what happens to people who go and investigate strange noises.
-Call a Flower and try to figure out what the heck's going on.
You immeadiatly walk on ahead, ignoring the sound of the consol. You decide that you want to get back to your own RC. You are busy enough to not have to worry about other peoples jobs aswell.
Paying absolutely no attention to anything, you walk around HQ. You manage to make it two hallways before you find yourself in a blocked off passage.
What do you do?
- Look for another door.
- Sit down and play a game on your CAD.
- Go back to the empty RC.
You turn back, looking for the empty RC where you heard the BEEP. Since you are still relatively new at the PPC, you make the mistake of trying to retrace the way you took.
This, of course, takes you back to your own RC.
How convenient.
But wait... it's empty too! Where's your partner? What is going on here?
What do you do?
-Sit down and wait for something to happen.
-Check to see if anyone's in the RC next door.
- Call a Flower. Something's wrong.
The console beeps louder. You check the fic -- a Doctor Who fic slashing Susan Foreman with Jenny.
Wait for your partner to return.
Go in now to get the fic over with.
Scream at the Flowers.
You sit down on the floor and pull out your CAD. Ignoring the usual half-dozen error messages (Universe file corrupted, opto-anarchic gate cables fraying, blah, blah, blah), you fire up the bootleg Mario rom that shady guy in the cafeteria gave you.
Instead of starting the game, the CAD's screen goes blank. A message prints out...
[Look behind you...]
What do you do?
- ignore the message, and reboot the CAD
- look behind you
- start running
There's nowhere to run! Remember, the corridor is a dead-end.
Guess there's no choice but to look behind you. Or continue gaming.
Having misplaced your sanity and common sense, you decide to sit on the Generic Surface floor and resume playing the game. Never mind the ominous silence, never mind the missing Agents, never mind the mystery. You want to play games and you want to play them now.
You start the game and play it with your back to the corridor, completely absorbed by the plumber and his antics. You almost notice the Necron Flayed One before it well...flays you and leaves you to die in a pool of your own blood.
Honestly, what were you thinking?
Stupid machine. Of all the times for it to malfunction and spew out nonsense...
You fiddle with the CAD and reboot it. There's another message on the screen when it reopens.
[LOOK BEHIND YOU, YOU IDIOT!]
-The CAD is obviously broken. Maybe you can fix it and play Mario?
-Look behind you.
-Sit where you are and do absolutely nothing.
Filled with trepidation, you turn around slowly. There's nothing there.
No, really. Nothing. A big hole of nothingness. It's making a "gloop gloop" noise.
-Turn around again and try to ignore it.
-Attempt to squeeze past it and leave.
-Poke it with your CAD.
Turns out that, no, you can't fix it. The reason for this is simple : this adventure would never go anywhere if you just sat there playing video games. So make another choice.
You stay there like an idiot, staring ahead blankly, until something hard smashes your skull like a nut and kills you instantly. Some people have no patience.
Fun fact : There is no afterlife.
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(Of course, some options must result in death or a dead-end. Otherwise, the tree will become ridiculously complex.)
Personally, I vote for the third option; seems the logical thing to do.
You misunderstand the principle. We use the tree-like structure of the forum to expand each option. So if you like the third option, you could write a post in which you describe what happens if you call a Flower. Then you add your own options for what to do next.
And someone else will take care of options one and two.
Shows what I get for being tired and scatterbrained. I completely misunderstood. I'll get a post written up then.