Subject: I, er, can't ride a bicycle
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Posted on: 2009-06-20 23:21:00 UTC

The last time I was on a bike I was twelve. My mother decided that she should finally get round to teaching me.

It, um, sort of backfired. I was terrified. I could just about ride the thing for about five metres before I had to stop and do special breathing to stop hyperventilating with terror.

Mum persevered for about six months, but it was the time I got stuck on the beach heading out into the waves with jammed handlebars, crying and flailing and eventually falling off that convinced her that maybe I should just walk while the rest of my family cycled.

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