have some C4. it is perfectly harmless. right now. no guarantees about later, though. and welcome...

We will add your writing and story-telling distinctiveness to our own. Resistance is futile.

Seriously, welcome.

Good for cleaning up after killing Mary Sues. *not-so-subtlely shoves a DMS flag into your hands*

Welcome! :)

Welcome to the PPC Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *provides bucket labeled "Big Nasty Thing Fodder"* You probably won't need it here. I've never met you, but I'm going to hug you anyway, and also have the Philosopher's Scone. It is scone-y.
-Mad Maudlin

Welcome! Have a winged kitten, and watch out for giant glass jars.

And please tell me how you make that music note appear.

Welcome! Here's a special helm from the Raven Armory! Yes, there are more fandoms than Tolkien. I'm in three, and none of them are LotR. It's nice to meet you.

We are protectors of all plot continuums, so don't worry about not being very well-versed in Tolkien.

As for my gift to you...it's an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and spambots, too! Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride. ;-)

Welcome! I'm impressed you managed to leave TV Tropes; Eru knows it's more than I can usually do.

But... welcome! Have a free walnut and a weighted companion cube! (it will never threaten to stab you!)

Have a shapeshifting plushie.

Would you prefer a TARDIS or a response center for any Agents you devise?

The last one seemed to like it.

I comes bearing links. *drags out Big Bag O' Links and digs through it*

First off is the link to the Wiki, a veritable fount of information for a newbie to read through. Especially helpful for you if you want to write missions would be the page on Permission (note the capital P).

I would advise against reading any Legendary Badfic, unless you are of strong mind and stomach. Even the summaries have been known to give those of weaker constitution nightmares.

For your reading pleasure, not knowing what you have already managed to find, I have several links for you. The Original Series (not to be confused with Star Trek) is a good place to start, as the PPC did many aeons ago. What do you mean I'm exaggerating? The Department of Geographical Aberrations is another interesting place to visit, if you have the time and inclination. Also by hS is the Tangled Webs site, which contains backstory for the PPC as an organisation. If you would rather visit the Floaters, then July's site is the place you need to be. And last, but most definitely not least, Response Centre 45 is where Trojie and Pads' missions are archived.

Hope you enjoy your stay here. Please deposit your sanity into the container offered to you by another Boarder; you won't be needing it here.

(Warning: randomness ahead!)

It's lovely to have you here! Here, have a present of a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. We're all a bit crazy here, and keeping your sanity (preferably in a box) is pretty much optional.

That said, here's some helpful information; no, you don't have to be a Tolkien nut to join here. We cover every fandom that anybody wants to cover, from Tolkien to Star Wars to Redwall and all kinds of others.

The best thing to do would be to check out the Original Series (those written by Jay and Acacia) and the PPC Wiki, not to mention The Reorganisation and Crashing Down. Other people's recommendations, and links, will probably be presented to you very soon. I personally recommend the above, and also to read the PPC Constitution for the basic rules of behaviour we're expected to follow.

If you want to join and write your own stuff, the basic guidelines are as follows;

1. Thou shalt hang around the Board for a month or so, so we can get to know thee.

2. Thou shalt then post asking for Permission, including in the post thine Agent profiles, a sample of thy writing, and maybe the fic thou intendest to kill.

3. The Permission Givers shall then gaze upon it and, if it be to their liking, grant thee Permission. And therefore, verily, thou mayst go forth and PPC to thine heart's content.

Basically, not too much is required of you except for the above requirements, and when you join you can work in any fandom you feel confident enough in.

Once again, lovely to have you here. I hope you have fun.