Okay, I read it.

We have any Lilo & Stich fans in here? by Chliever on 2009-04-30 02:01:00 UTC Reply

Because have I got a fic for you!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1828598/1/

I personally think, that had this been in a more well-known fandom, this could easily qualify for Legendary Badfic. It has all the hallmarks, namely, really graphic and badly-written sex, violence, and cliches.

In this fic, we are introduced to Experiments 411 and 412, a hooker and a pimp designed to cause political sex scandals. Hunkahunka returns, modified by Hamsterviel to stimulate sex drives instead of just infatuation. Mertle gets pecked and tries to marry Lilo, also, Jumba and Nani get pecked and rape Pleakley. Angel, now a musical theater diva, has her co-star in "Phantom of the Opera" get pecked and think he really IS the Phantom of the Opera. Finder humps a tree. Lots of Experiments have sex and die. Hamsterviel abuses his Experiments (despite them being his own financial property) and can shoot lightning. And then... there's Karnax...

Experiment 001 was created brain-dead, so Jumba conjured up the soul of a war god, Karnax, to possess the body. Now, this TECHNICALLY isn't a Charge (we didn't know who Experiment 001 was at the time this was written), but I think the presence of magic in "Lilo & Stitch" is. Karnax kills people bloodily, including the hooker, whom he rips in half and then forges each half into a sword. He kills Nani too, as it turns out she's pregnant and he eviscerates her to get the baby. And it ends with a hook for a sequel...

If no one wants this, I'll take it.

And just for the record... by Farseer Lolotea on 2009-05-05 05:12:00 UTC Reply

...Here is an official list of experiments. Oddly enough, considering this is an all-audiences show, 412 and 413 don't appear to be any sort of scandal-critters. (They're an "unknown function" and a food-wrecker.)

Re: And just for the record... by Chliever on 2009-05-05 15:37:00 UTC Reply

Unfortunately, we can't charge fot that. That list wasn't out yet at the time this was written.

Well, damn. (nm) by Farseer Lolotea on 2009-05-05 19:03:00 UTC Reply

Ewwwww... by Farseer Lolotea on 2009-05-04 01:18:00 UTC Reply

I wouldn't consider myself part of the fandom, per se...but I liked the movie and the series.

That poor continuum. >_
Oh, and the sequel got made. by WikiMaster on 2009-05-01 08:28:00 UTC Reply

Should I read this?

I meant 'it'. by WikiMaster on 2009-05-01 08:32:00 UTC Reply

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1930328/1/Stitch_Heroes

Oh, and here's the link. Feel free to laugh and barf.

Okay, I read it. by Chliever on 2009-05-02 22:01:00 UTC Reply

Basically, rocks fall, everyone dies. Also, a monster from "Dexter's Lab" appears as an experiment, Pleakley kidnaps Ben Stiller, Cobra Bubbles is killed by Osama bin Laden (and is FBI, not CIA), and there's this subplot about Houdini trying to gain confidence that never goes anywhere.

There ARE actually some good parts to it, particularly, Jumba's ex-wife makes a great villain, and chapter 6 is fun. But that's not enough to save it. The author admits that the entire plot is lifted from Sonic Heroes; I've never played that, so I don't know the extent of the plagiarism, but it's probably a lot.

And guess what? It ends with ANOTHER sequel hook, as Hamsterviel downloads his mind into the Internet and Jumba creates three new experiments.

Sigh... by WikiMaster on 2009-05-03 11:51:00 UTC Reply

And just before 'Wrath of the Damnned', there was another fic, 'Choices'. I haven't read it, but it involved Stitch discovering religion, and some other stuff. I'll include the link later.

Here's the link. by WikiMaster on 2009-05-03 11:58:00 UTC Reply

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1702289/1/Choices

As for the author, she has potential. What about talking to her for a bit before sporking her work? If she answers with flames, use it to burn the valley, and Karnax and Hamsterviel too.

And by potential... by WikiMaster on 2009-05-03 12:00:00 UTC Reply

...let's just say that I only felt compelled to bang my head on the desk one time. Just one time.

Definitely a job for a combined mission. by WarriorJoe on 2009-04-30 17:02:00 UTC Reply

I'd take it on with my boys in Floaters, but I have actually never seen Lilo & Stitch, so...

If someone with canon-knowledge would be willing to double-team the mission with me, I'd be willing to give it a shot.
"Wrath of the Damned"? by Maudlin Hart on 2009-04-30 12:49:00 UTC Reply

No fic with that title could ever be good.
I hope it's a parody. Not much chance of that, though.

Update! by Maudlin Hart on 2009-04-30 13:06:00 UTC Reply

They've misspelled Erik's name (what's the PotO mini?) and I will swear to whatever you want me to that they're using lines copied directly from the libretto of Webber's musical. Wasn't it bad enough when they were just messing up L+S? Kill it. Kill it hard! Set it on fire and blow it up!

I am, but I don't have permission. by WikiMaster on 2009-04-30 09:37:00 UTC Reply

I'm going to read the fic now.

Well, I've read the fic. by WikiMaster on 2009-04-30 11:38:00 UTC Reply

And I say this: It's bad. Very bad. Burn the valley. Also, if you're going to kill Holly, you'd better do it before the Amnesia. I also recommend recruiting Chocola, I actually like him.

What I honestly can't tell... by Chliever on 2009-04-30 13:39:00 UTC Reply

...is precisely WHAT kind of mission this is. Is it an assassination? An exorcism? If it's an assassination, who's the Sue? Holly? Karnax? Is Hunkahunka a replacement? Is Hamsterviel? I'd definitely like to hear some input on this.

Karnax seems a safe bet. by WikiMaster on 2009-05-01 08:23:00 UTC Reply

Along with Hamsterviel and 625 (who is way more sympathetic in the series). As for Holly, I think she should die before she forgets her 'purpose'. She actually becomes slightly sympathethic after she gets a faceful of Amnesia dust.

As for the magic stuff, burn it. Especially the Dagger of Ophir. Burn Angel and Stich's secret valley, also.

;________; by Purplefluffychainsaw on 2009-04-30 09:00:00 UTC Reply

Well, at least I now know why I don't ever venture into that section of the Pit now.

Please, for the love of Glod, destroy it.
Made it to chapter 2 before my brain began to rot. by Ulalume on 2009-04-30 03:24:00 UTC Reply

Someone, please, KILL THIS WITH FIRE!