Subject: Looks pretty good!
Author:
Posted on: 2009-04-27 18:02:00 UTC
Fritz would like to note that there is at least one glaring typo, towards the end: it's "wring" her neck, not "ring."
Still, putting the Grammar Nazi under lock and key for the moment, I always adore good character interaction, and you had me laughing fit to burst with the "spicks." That IS an impressive mental image.
http://agent-chliever.livejournal.com/1866.html
It's time for their second mission! Chliever and Winston confront junk mail, North Korean propaganda, character replacements, Teen Titans, Castlevania villains, second person, present tense, urple romance, ethnic stereotypes, EZ-Bake, and dismemberment caused by typos! Also, they're forced to do half the mission IN THE DARK!
This is what I'd call a "bonding" mission, as, if you recall, Chliever and Winston barely met before being sent off on their first mission. Winston's still sort of a sidekick at this point, but I have big things planned for him later on. Also, if you're an observant sort, see if you can spot the first mention of a character who will be very important later on.
Fritz would like to note that there is at least one glaring typo, towards the end: it's "wring" her neck, not "ring."
Still, putting the Grammar Nazi under lock and key for the moment, I always adore good character interaction, and you had me laughing fit to burst with the "spicks." That IS an impressive mental image.
You ever need a beta reader, just buzz me at novakrazny@gmail.com (but be sure to include "Beta Read" in the subject line or it might slip through the cracks). You can count on me to root out any such pesky problems.
(Found another one, by the way: just after the spicks, "idiodic" instead of idiotic.)