Subject: Wasn't that a movie title?
Author:
Posted on: 2009-04-24 06:32:00 UTC
Because I think I remember it.
Well, whatever the case, my mind tells me that vague as my memories are, they say that anything with a name like that is nas-tay business.
Blood and Chocolate. I'm not kidding. Legolas/OC and super-porny. AND CHOCOLATE DOES NOT BELONG IN MIDDLE-EARTH, ERUDAMNIT!
I feel bad for him, the poor elf. No canon character deserves that type of fan abuse repeatedly. I don't like lemons because of past bad experiences, but I don't usually have problems with them. This, though... I read the author's note and two lines, then stopped. It made me nauseous just thinking about it. My poor brain can only stand limes at the worst these days. I think this is why I would fail at the Department of Bad Slash. I would be vomiting half the time.
*hands over some bleeprin*
Surprisingly, all I thought when I read it was, "Why is Legolas randomly having it off and why is there chocolate involved? And what's with the fangs, is she a vampire?"
...A year ago I would have been squicked.
The author had another story, and this is apparently a random lemony interlude. At least the lemon fic had no made up 'Vampiric' language...
*gives Cassie a Desensitization award*
Congratulations. This stuff can no longer harm you.
(Too much)
Thank you very much. I know what's desensitised me; repeated readings of badfic, up to and including C*l*br**n, and prolonged exposure to Pads/Trojie/their missions/Sara/other assorted gutterminds. Which accounts for me volunteering to take on a fic for Bad Slash that even Trojie said she wouldn't touch unless someone asked her nicely. :D
Trojie and Pads seem particularly proud of corrupting me - a year ago I was badly squicked by just about anything. Then I started beta-ing some of their missions, and now...
And I don't see anyone else stepping up to the plate and volunteering to warp the innocent young minds that wander around here. All part of the Duty. And in Bad Slash, we take the Duty very seriously.
... more 'expanding your horizons' :D
Because I think I remember it.
Well, whatever the case, my mind tells me that vague as my memories are, they say that anything with a name like that is nas-tay business.
Which was very good, until the writes of "Underworld"received the script rights.
The movie deserves to dumped in a vat of Sulfuric Acid.
I have nothing against porn stories, well-written or not. My issue is with such gratuitous and pointless canon debasement. Why Legolas? Why Middle Earth? Why can't the writer create her own damn setting, her own damn characters? The fact that this fic takes place in Middle Earth with Legolas is absolutely IRRELEVANT to the 'plot'.
I got less than 30 seconds in before shutting down my brain - old reflexes die hard. Somewhere between realizing that "Nikkaly" is a really f***ed up name for Middle Earth and trying to wrap my head around run-on sentences that don't quite work in the first paragraph, I was already taking mental evasive action. xD