Subject: Welcome!
Author:
Posted on: 2009-04-10 20:48:00 UTC

Here, take this shiny new coffeemaker. Now you no longer need to waste a third of your life sleeping.

Oh, and be advised that I am the only one awesome enough to have the right to wear a fedora. You can have a hat too if you want, but just not a fedora, 'cause it's my trademark. Got it?

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