Members of this noble Board of the PPC, we must beware! The PPC is starting to lose its focus on traditional values! Or, well, not-so-traditional.

As all know, the true Golden Age of the PPC was not during the reign of the evil Mysterious Somebody, but in the days of the revered Jay and Acacia, when the LotR movies were being released. But now we are falling away from this noble heritage! We are reverting to darker times! Just think!

*In the unenlightened old days, before we humans joined, the Flowers used to destroy whole worlds to deal with Mary-Sues. Now the Pyro Department has weapons of terror with which they do the exact same thing!
*Once, portals were fixed in place, opening in "doors" next to the console. In some Response Centers now, we can see the exact same thing!
*Everyone knows about the DIS and their reign of terror. But have you not noticed more DIA Agents around HQ lately? Haven't there been more arrests? The exact same thing is happening!

I urge you, wise Boarders, be vigilant! Do not let these changes continue! They cost so-- no, ignore that. But on behalf of all right-thinking Agents, I plead with you -- do not let us slip further away from the golden days of six years ago!

~Agent Sambar, Department of Finance, on behalf of all proponents of Cycle Theory

(Author's note: No, of course I'm not serious. Change is a good thing. But poor Sambar isn't used to it, and after all, what the PPC really needs is another off-kilter conspiracy theorist, right? :P)