Don't say you weren't warned

Subject: Don't say you weren't warned
Author: Chliever
Posted on: 2009-03-20 05:34:00 UTC

Do not read on full stomach: http://www.tuxedojack.com/godawful/nauseating/aip/agonyinpink.txt

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Badfic report: possible Legendary Badfic? by Chliever on 2009-03-19 15:32:00 UTC Reply

Argh, that Russia thread is an eyesore. You'd thing here, of all places, you could escape politics wank. Ah, whatever, badfic marches on, and I have a doozy. It's another I plan to do uponbecoming a full Agent, and personally I think it might qualify as Legendary, though you guys can discuss it. It is, of all things, LES MISERABLES ABUSE SMUTFIC, on Deviantart no less. Obviously not safe for brain:

http://ifucdapolicewarnabro.deviantart.com/art/Poor-Eponine-101388574
http://ifucdapolicewarnabro.deviantart.com/art/Poor-Eponine-pt-2-101412503
http://ifucdapolicewarnabro.deviantart.com/art/Poor-Eponine-pt-3-101412847

Includes, among other things, Eponine abuse, use of the words "tits" and "ass" with reference to an immensely popular character from classic literature, a woman created by incorrect pluralization, and a person named "Harold Grumbles" with Super Saiyan hair.

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Kill it. Please. by Makari on 2009-03-20 04:43:00 UTC Reply

I don't think it's quite legendary, personally -- though certainly up for debate.

But please kill it with fire. Pleasepleaseplease.
The thing about Legendary Badfic... by Sedri on 2009-03-20 02:01:00 UTC Reply

Is that it has to be, you know, legendary. Something that can be mentioned and everyone will groan and say, "Oh THANKS for bringing up that memory!" So new things generally don't qualify. That said, it looks horrible, and I hope to see it die soon.

I see by Chliever on 2009-03-20 02:56:00 UTC Reply

I kind of thought so, but I'd never heard of That Series or Lion King Orgy Poem before, which made me think it was just the absolute worst stuff.

And if it's famous badfic, why isn't Agony In Pink, the badfic that sparked an international incident, on the list?

the which? by Pads on 2009-03-20 03:24:00 UTC Reply

Never heard of your agony thingy. That'll be why it's not legendary. Well, not because I haven't heard of it, but... Legendary needs, primarily, to be bad in an accessible way. Example: legolas by laura is a continuum we all know, and is a quick read, and everyone comes across it. C*l*br**n, too, is an accessible continuum. That Series is mostly just putting me off ever reading Redwall, but. Les Mis, however, isn't highly read or known. Which reduces the chances of the legendary staus, because it just won't make an impact on enough people.

Re: the which? by Anonymous on 2009-03-20 03:41:00 UTC Reply

Agony In Pink is a Power Rangers torture fetish fic that was so awful it was banned in Australia. Seriously. That seems pretty legendary to me.

Re: the which? by Pads on 2009-03-20 04:09:00 UTC Reply

Mm, but if it's only been heard of in Australia because of a ban there, it doesn't quite qualify. Barring extreme circumstances that guarantee fandom-wide recognition, the legendaries are, alas, mostly limited to the fandoms frequented by the majority of the Board. Simple reasoning being that most of us aren't in a position to judge the badness or otherwise of, say, a Power Rangers fic, because we don't know the canon.

Re: the which? by Chliever on 2009-03-20 04:37:00 UTC Reply

How odd. I've heard testimony that it's one of the most well-known badfic on the 'net. Pretty much everyone in that fandom, small though it is, has heard of it, I believe.

Well, it's more about... by Sedri on 2009-03-20 04:55:00 UTC Reply

...about being legendary within the PPC. Unfair, probably, but we can't be universal, and it's listed on our wiki. So I think it's most likely to be admitted only if 80% of the people on the Board know - and groan - about it.

Re: Well, it's more about... by NovaKrazny on 2009-03-20 05:27:00 UTC Reply

Either way, if someone can find a copy, we can take it on.

Don't say you weren't warned by Chliever on 2009-03-20 05:34:00 UTC Reply

Do not read on full stomach: http://www.tuxedojack.com/godawful/nauseating/aip/agonyinpink.txt

Test Run by NovaKrazny on 2009-03-20 05:49:00 UTC Reply

I thank God for my fast reading skills. No time to dwell on the Words.

= = =

Based off the first chapter alone, it's pretty obvious this was written more than partially with the author in Zedd's place.

= = =

I have made it halfway down. I had to put on some music to dull the horror, but 4chan has trained me well (being male might also have something to do with it, since this author seems to have an obsession with torturing the genitals). Of course, this is only going to get worse. Continuing on.

(For the record, though, I have seen some first season PR, so I do know who the characters are. And hearing the voices in my head, I will say, is NOT helping.)

= = =

Chapter 5. First verbal exclamation (Oh, Jesus). I shall spare the details of this. Continuing on.

Also, author appears to be ragging on Jason somewhat. He's breaking down and yelling at Billy. That is totally NOT Jason- he'd be distressed at Kimberly's situation, but that would not be enough to get him snapping and shaking his friends.

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More Test Run by NovaKrazny on 2009-03-20 06:00:00 UTC Reply

I'm going to keep posting these so I can keep myself up for this challenge.

The grammar, spelling, capitalization... they're immaculate. That is not good. The characterization is very nearly spot-on (aside from some aforementioned ragging). There's nothing here to MOCK. LxC, you can mock the dryness of the sex. Celebrian, you can mock the dialogue. That Series, you can mock the general ridiculousness of the situation.

There's nothing to mock here. Goddamnit, NK, stay steady.

= = =

Well, the end of Chapter 5 went in a predictable and yet still rather nasty direction. Chapter 6 brings us to the actual mutilation, if you can believe that it took this long.

I need more powerful 'tunes, but I will get through this. Switching on the disco. Continuing on.

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There's Lord Zedd discovering torture for the first time. by WikiMaster on 2009-03-20 13:39:00 UTC Reply

Anyway, this needs to be sporked. Hard. Also, Tv.Trope's So Bad it's Horrible Badfic page says that this fic has a sequel, Agony in Yellow, and a Star Wars version, The Interrogation of Princess Leia. The Latter contains incest and fetishistic foot torture. As the first one is Charachter Derailment, it should be sporked.

Have no fear! by Paladin on 2009-03-27 04:43:00 UTC Reply

I'm already on duty sporking it. I specifically created my agents with the aim of taking on fics like this. However, I'm not sure if they can take it. I've already tried writing this one once, but my main character snapped, went berserk,stole an up-armed Multi-verse Exploration Ship, and tried to *burn down* all of fandom.He'd gone through a couple of universes before I'd gotten control of the story back.

Still, in due time, this menace shall be put to rest.
In reply to Chliever by NovaKrazny on 2009-03-21 19:12:00 UTC Reply

Well, the monster is purportedly made out of books on the nuances of torture. Sounds pretty flammable to me, and since the fic never actually has him grow we might be able to take him out at ground-level. Hitting the monster first would obviously be preferable so as to forgo the possibility, and then we could exorcise Lord Zedd.

Ending italics even more and... by WikiMaster on 2009-03-22 12:18:00 UTC Reply

...proposing the use of gasoline and matches.

Also, thre's another sequel which I forgot to tell you about by WikiMaster on 2009-03-22 14:13:00 UTC Reply

http://www.scribd.com/doc/6316485/Agony-in-Pink-2-A-New-Ending-by-Dark-Ranger

This is an AU version (set in a later season) in which Kimberly is tortured to death by Katherine, who in the end, turns Tommy into her lover and plans to turn both him and Billy evil. Oh, and she's now a megalomainiac.

PS: I know the PPC's not just about smut, but I feel the need to notify you about this monstrosity, also the Character Derailment is just...evil.

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The monster... by Chliever on 2009-03-20 23:24:00 UTC Reply

The OC in this story, and the essential avatar of the author's kink, will be problematic to kill. As a monster, he's prone to growing huge when destroyed, so big we'd need a giant robot to fight him. Does the PPC issue Megazords? I can't imagine it'd be hard, we have Sun Crushers and TARDISes, but Power Rangers badfic isn't exactly prevalent, so I wonder if DoSAT has even seen a need to do so.
Re: There's Lord Zedd discovering torture for the first time. by NovaKrazny on 2009-03-20 18:16:00 UTC Reply

Yeah, I think it was a bad idea to post while reading through for the first time. Got a little panicky.

A few posts down, I gave it a bit more thought and I agree. Why WOULDN'T he have known about torture? He's an evil overlord, for Pete's Sake.

Ending italics again, I hope. (nm) by Neshomeh on 2009-03-20 18:20:00 UTC Reply

Simply ending the italics. (nm) by Kd7sov on 2009-03-20 15:13:00 UTC Reply

We're Still Here by NovaKrazny on 2009-03-20 06:10:00 UTC Reply

End of Chapter 6. Y'know, in my days, I have seen a lot of people who I honestly think should have been locked up, or at least works from them.

This guy is one of those people. I wouldn't wish this kind of shit on Adolf Hitler or Caligula.

ANYHOW. It's getting worse, I'll say that much. The gloves are off, but I think there's only one chapter left. Bracing for the worst.

= = =

Mid-chapter-7. Oh, look at that, actual mutilation. With blowtorches and hedgeclippers. Yeah, I'm not talking anymore about that. We probably want to stop this madness prior to Chapter 6 if the mission is taken on, preferably far sooner.

But as the Scissor Sisters say, "If I stop now, call me a quitter."

I'm gonna save the end for another post, seeing as how it gets VERY graphic.

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Oh yeah. by Laburnum on 2009-03-20 14:22:00 UTC Reply

I've seen equally gory stuff (I browse Yiffstar for fun) but with at least one of those, the author noted at the beginning that this is not a good thing to do in real life, and something about the tone of the story made me think the author actually does understand that. With this one ... nope. So ... yeah, get them out of civilised society ASAP, please.

You know it's bad when stuff from Yiffstar is BETTER.
Done. Thank God. Don't read if female or rather squeamish. by NovaKrazny on 2009-03-20 06:13:00 UTC Reply

Hey, it's done! And did it ever end badly. Kimberly is dead in a manner that I will describe only so that you don't have to go through this yourself.

Buffer text buffer text buffer text, man A Flock of Seagulls are a great band, okay that's probably enough buffer text by now.

After sandpapering the skin and nipples off her breasts and tearing her clitoris with a fishing hook, she was literally ...ed to death. This is on top of having her feet burned to crisps with a blowtorch, her nails prised off with a file, and her fingers chopped off joint by joint with hedgeclippers. Plus much torture prior in the previous chapters.

All together now.

FLAMING GOD-DAMNED DENETHOR!

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But there's no flaying in it! by Gabriel on 2009-03-20 14:39:00 UTC Reply

No method of torture beats flaying.
...oh my by Pads on 2009-03-20 06:15:00 UTC Reply

...And... was that meant to be, y'know, porn?

Because if so I am worried for the sake of my gender.

(And also crossing my legs at the fishing hook.)

Re: ...oh my by NovaKrazny on 2009-03-20 06:25:00 UTC Reply

Based off a line from the first chapter, which said Kimberly evidently "excited Lord Zedd in ways he didn't quite understand", I think it was... God, I have no idea. Definitely the Author putting himself in Lord Zedd's position in this. Residual anger at Kimberly for exciting his own latent sexuality? I've heard of people reacting to sexual arousal, the first time around, with anger, though frankly I don't understand it myself.

Definitely a self-insert case. Definitely by someone with an UNGODLY sick mind. The characterization, as I mentioned, was spot-on, and the fic is one that the Department of Technical Errors could go over with a fine-toothed comb and find no problem with.

It's just really, really, ...ing sick. Not totally sure how I got through that one. 4chan, I suppose, plus music, plus the fact that I'm somewhat emotionally detached anyhow. I know that if this had been a Wall-E story, God in his Infinite Wisdom Forbid, I would NOT have been able to proceed.

Goddamnit, Mogulus, you would pick today to hammer my favorite cartoon channels. Will have to settle for talking about it to get over this.

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Re: ...oh my by Heliomance on 2009-03-20 11:39:00 UTC Reply

Actually, there are a few technical errors. Not enough to be killable in themselves, but still. The author seems to be quite fond of gratuitous tense-shifting.
Re: ...oh my by Pads on 2009-03-20 06:31:00 UTC Reply

Well, ignoring your slightly bizarre Wall-thingy fixation for now...

There are no technical errors. There are no characterisation errors. What exactly's wrong with the fic, except that it squicks you in ungodly and perverted ways? Because, technically, since we all have different tastes, we can't charge for that.

Mind you, a clear self-insert makes it easier to kill.

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Re: ...oh my by Chliever on 2009-03-20 15:05:00 UTC Reply

I'd still like to see it PPC'd. If only because the Agents would probably have to go in as Putties.
Re: ...oh my by NovaKrazny on 2009-03-20 06:45:00 UTC Reply

I wouldn't call it a fixation, I was just never a Power Rangers kid. Wall-E I'm a lot more attached to.

Anyhow. Lord Zedd is probably the most out-of-character in the batch, seeing as how I doubt he'd really revel so readily in seeing any of the Rangers in pain (and that line at the start makes it rather clear where the self-insert is). He's really drinking it in in here. Granted, he hates the Rangers for constantly foiling him, but at the level portrayed? I sincerely doubt it.

While I can believe that he'd be fascinated by finding out something new, I do not believe he'd never heard of torture before coming to Earth. He's an evil overlord. Honestly. That's a big problem, since it branches out the rest of the fic. Also, as it mentions within the fic itself, he doesn't nominally make regular calls to taunt the rest of the Rangers while enacting his plans. That seems mostly contrived to create more horror on the reader's part by imagining how the Rangers feel in that position.

The Rangers, I have to say, are pretty much spot-on in character. We could probably charge for thesaurus abuse or repetitiveness later on since the Author starts running out of alternate ways to describe Kimberly's pain.

Also, isn't abuse of canon characters a charge? Especially when one winds up very messily dead.

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Hmm, nice story by Heliomance on 2009-03-20 12:02:00 UTC Reply

/sarcasm

Just read it, and yes, it's rather disgusting. I reckon Mulhoon would be able to handle it, though, as I managed it without an eyetwitch. Unfotunately, I don't know the Power Rangers canon at all.

Whoops, that one was me. (nm) by Chliever on 2009-03-20 03:42:00 UTC Reply

Re: Badfic report: possible Legendary Badfic? by NovaKrazny on 2009-03-19 18:39:00 UTC Reply

Ow, that non-formatting hurts my eyes. The lack of paragraphing makes it nearly impossible to even read the thing. Hyphens are absent, along with some apostrophes...

I don't know much about the content, but I can say that based off the mechanics alone, this thing is not earning any points from me.