Subject: Oh, bugger...
Author:
Posted on: 2009-03-10 23:35:00 UTC
...not a mini-Boarder...
This may be somehow under my jurisdiction, so I say sure.
Whatever it is, it wears a lot of black and has a fedora hat. The hat is also black, and has pinstripes.
And it probably thinks it's either a wolf ('Lycaenion' meaning 'little she-wolf') or an onion.
Enjoy.
I was scanning the Pit for fic today, when I came across this. ( http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4875631/1/Baby_Project )
Just the summary is bad enough. Enjoy:
99. Baby Project » by mediwitch3 reviews
yeah i know a classic, and im doing it for my other one 2. i like babies, and so this is great! Plus it's Harry Potter so i can make it as unrealistis as i want! basically the title, it is Harry x Ginny and Hermione x Ron. T for language.
Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,759 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 3-8-09 - Published: 2-19-09
*sighs*
There's something called FU-udge in there, which I can only imagine as being some sort of dessert that makes rude hand gestures. Might be worth bringing back, as might the Cliffie who appears at the end of the second chapter.
...I can make this as unrealistic as I want??
*struggles to conceal rage*
Strike her down with all of your hatred, and your journey towards the Dark Side will be complete.
Kill it.
The "i can make it as unrealistic as i want"[sic] bit in the summary was what made me actually report it instead of passing it by as just another Harry Potter badfic.
That line pretty much sums up every Suethor, doesn't it? There's a difference between unrealistic but a good read and unrealistic and stupid, and our dear Suethor seems to have crossed it.
How can she claim to be a "fan" anymore? Grr...
If it's so easy to make babies with magic, why don't wizards outnumber Muggles ten to one?
If babies didn't require nine months of gestation, meticulous planning and a lot of pain, their lives wouldn't count nearly as much. They would just be discarded once their parents are tired of them. A lot of babies would be made by irresponsible people on the spur of the moment, and adoption centers would be chock-full with them. That's only one of the many things that are horribly wrong with this fic.
Would a PPC Assassin be required to kill those babies? That would be brutal, even by our standards...
the students are doing this as part of *class*; they presumably have no choice in the matter. Why can't people *think* before they write?
The canon breaches make me want to burn things, but it helps that one of my Agents will be very, very interested in this. He's a bit of the mad-scientist type.
And the amount of havoc that could be thus wrought rather amuses me.
Though I will thoroughly kill it as well. Because only a very small portion of my brain is amused. The rest is screaming for vengeance, on behalf of Rowling and basic human biology.
Can I adopt Lycaeonion? *points down*
...not a mini-Boarder...
This may be somehow under my jurisdiction, so I say sure.
Whatever it is, it wears a lot of black and has a fedora hat. The hat is also black, and has pinstripes.
And it probably thinks it's either a wolf ('Lycaenion' meaning 'little she-wolf') or an onion.
Enjoy.
Sorry?
Oh, it's nothing, relax. I'm not bothered, long as someone gives a home to the poor little bugger.
^^
If the Agents kill the babies...
Overly predictable. Just turn them in to the nursery. Figure something else if you want an Agent to be so evil. Which wouldn't really work because, on a multiversal scale, the Agents are supposed to be the good guys. At least relatively. :P
Destruction of towns and planets is still on the menu. And my view is that we're a bit too light and soft. Where's the Grim Dark?
Seriously though, they're only the good guys because the Sues would destroy everything if they weren't killed. Overall, the PPC saves more lives than it takes. (Correct me if I'm wrong)
...it believe that the original purpose of the PPC was for comedy. There was no Grim Dark, there was only the snarky and generally lighthearted elimination of Mary Sues.
Because that's what this is all about. Lightheartedness. Having fun. Sometimes there is no need for Grim Dark or excessive drama.
Point taken.
It would be much more practical: we could send PMs, we could use BBCode, AND we could edit or delete our posts. Not to mention half a hundred other things.
(Sorry for straying off-topic. Had to say it.)
However, that one died, only a few spammers use it now. Maybe we could put it to a vote and make a new one, but this one's kinda traditional.
but I doubt anyone else does. Unfortunate.
Though now I want to make an Agent with the motto, "There is no such thing as goodfic, only degrees of bad". But still, killing babies is just too much. It's reprehensible enough that I think the Agent that did it could very well be kicked out, if not just hunted down. Besides, it'd just be more interesting if you thought of another way, and Lycaenion's claimed this fic anyway. Also, the tone honestly depends on whose spinoff you're reading. You can be more cynical in tone without resorting to baby killing.
... but considering they weren't bothered by having an Evil!Stu raped to death by a gigantic blue rat (don't ask) I'm not quite sure what would make them realise they're going too far without making them into official villains.
there is only glitter. :p
Of course, the soul issue has been raised below, and I know Lycaeonion's claimed it.
Anyway, it's possible to say that the "babies" do not actually exist, but standard PPC policy for infants in badfic is to bring them to the Nursery to be raised as Agents. Dunno if it's ever been anything else, but that seems to be current policy.
That's the problem now isn't it? You can't kill babies.
I want one of my Agents to be a Complete Monster, and this seems as good a way to do it as any...
If you really think about it, since magic cannot create life, then the babies aren't really babies, they aren't human.
That is so messed up. It would never happen in Hogwarts, magic cannot create new life. So what now?