Subject: Some advice
Author:
Posted on: 2008-12-18 19:33:00 UTC

I know just what you mean, because I have that same bad habit. Harry Potter isn't one of my fandoms, but I'll try my best to give decent advise anyways.

What I'm really wondering here is what you mean by "sexual servitude"--do you mean consensual bondage, someone being pressured into sex, or flat out rape? If it's the last two, you must make it squicky and disturbing. I get the impression that people usually write these fics as a fantasy, so they try to make it all sexy. But in real life, something like this would be horrible and unhappy and really, really disgusting. Well, you probably know this already. But I thought I'd say this just in case.

It's also worth considering what age these guys are. I generally squick out at underage fics that aren't "first love/experiments/fumbling into adulthood" sort of things. But more than a few teenage guys have drugged their girlfriend's glass in real life, so it's not inconcievable.

And leave out the filthy details. For one, we really, really, really don't need to see all the filthy and disgusting actions implied in such a situation. Also, by taking out the descriptions of sex, you leave everything up to the audience's imagination, which just ups the horror of the situation. And remember, in this story, you should be stressing the horror aspects. Try focusing on the thought process of the predator and/or victim instead.

If you must have them keep the situation a secret, give them a good emotional reason. A lot of people just come up with a wimpy excuse and move on. Don't do that. Make them think it through before deciding. Remember, there's NOTHING WRONG with the authorities finding out about the predator in the end; watching the predator get punished gives the audience a cathartic release after reading all of the disturbing bits earlier. Alternatively, you might have the girl decide that she cannot tell anyone about this situation, and therefore must take care of the predator herself, which could lead to some sort of cat-and-mouse game...I'm really getting a little too much into this, aren't I?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Ginny and Hermione are strong, smart girls. They're both very capable witches, they're both strong-minded, and they definitely wouldn't just lie down and take it. They'd do something about the situation. Take out that struggle, and I think you'd be leaving out a major part of their character.

Okay, that's all I can think of at the moment. Hope this gives you some idea of what to do.

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