Applause, applause! by
Sedri
on 2008-11-17 21:18:00 UTC
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Very nice! I don't know the fandom at all, but still managed to understand most of the details - well done!
I particularly like this bit:
"If you would kindly refrain from excessive use of italics?"
"No"
For some reason, that part made me laugh most of all. Thanks, and congratulations!
*Applauds* by
Spud avec
on 2008-11-17 17:21:00 UTC
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That was highly enjoyable, although I'm sure that some of it was lost on me, being that I've no knowledge of the fandom whatsoever, haha. Still, I didn't find it too much of an ordeal in length, I thought it was a goodly size. Enough to get your teeth into without dragging.
I very much liked the ending, and I'm anticipating your next mission with eagerness.
Yay! by
Adagio
on 2008-11-17 14:25:00 UTC
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Nothing wrong with long missions. More to read!
Don't know the fandom, sadly, but still entertaining.
nicely killed by
Pads
on 2008-11-17 10:05:00 UTC
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Spotted a missing question mark, here:
“What kind,” Samuel elaborated patiently.
Also noticed you've written "portaled", with just one L - is that a legitimate American spelling? Never seen it that way before. I'd complain that it's curtsey, not curtsy, but some of the online dictionaries are backing you up on that one.
She followed him though in short order. - missing an R in "through".
I have no idea about the canon, but still, an enjoyable first mission.
Good job. ^_^ by
Neshomeh
on 2008-11-17 07:41:00 UTC
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That was quite enjoyable, even though I don't really know the continuum. Samuel is intriguing. I shall follow him and Katrina with great interest.
As to length, my latest got onto its thirtieth page in OpenOffice before it was done. It happens. ^_^;
~Neshomeh
Don't worry about the length too much. by
kgarrett
on 2008-11-17 06:04:00 UTC
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Sometimes they're long, can't help it. Quite a few of TOS' missions were even longer than that blighter. It's nicely written though, great job for your first mission. Keep at it and yours is gonna be a very enjoyable spinoff to read.