Second, and ...

OT: Question by Ansela on 2008-11-16 16:53:00 UTC Reply

If you are reading a fanfic where a character is on the phone and only one side of the conversation is shown, which of these formats do you prefer to see it in?

"Yes?"
"No, I'm not busy."
"It wasn't my idea."
"Now?"
"It'll take me about forty minutes to get back."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"I'll be there."
"See you."

OR

"Yes? No, I'm not busy. It wasn't my idea. Now? It'll take me about forty minutes to get back. Yes. Yes. I'll be there. See you."

I'm asking because I'm trying to write a one-sided phone conversation and I'm not sure what the right way to do it is. Most of the ones I see in fics show both sides of the conversation, which isn't what I want to do in this situation.

the latter... by Pads on 2008-11-17 02:34:00 UTC Reply

...But separate the dialogue with ellipses, to show the pauses when the other party's speaking.
The second, unless you want narrative in between. by Sedri on 2008-11-16 22:40:00 UTC Reply

But only if it's long sections of prose, perhaps describing action around the speaker or their thoughts. Short things can be inserted in one paragraph.

Second it is then... by Ansela on 2008-11-16 22:49:00 UTC Reply

with BeetleFire's suggestion of ellipses between phrases. And it's now in two paragraphs because I realised that I had a Monster Block O'Text.

Thank you everyone.

Definitely the second. (nm) by Makari on 2008-11-16 22:02:00 UTC Reply
Second, and ... by BeetleFire on 2008-11-16 21:13:00 UTC Reply

... insert an ellipsis between each phrase, where you would have put a line break, just to indicate the pauses.
Second by Spud avec on 2008-11-16 20:28:00 UTC Reply

Yeah, I agree with the previous posters. Like Adagio mentioned, the first looks like some kind of strange conversation between two different people.
I like the second as well. (nm) by Sara on 2008-11-16 17:40:00 UTC Reply
The second. by Adagio on 2008-11-16 17:13:00 UTC Reply

The first looks sort of like two people talking.