Subject: I like the second as well. (nm)
Author:
Posted on: 2008-11-16 17:40:00 UTC
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OT: Question by
on 2008-11-16 16:53:00 UTC
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If you are reading a fanfic where a character is on the phone and only one side of the conversation is shown, which of these formats do you prefer to see it in?
"Yes?"
"No, I'm not busy."
"It wasn't my idea."
"Now?"
"It'll take me about forty minutes to get back."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"I'll be there."
"See you."
OR
"Yes? No, I'm not busy. It wasn't my idea. Now? It'll take me about forty minutes to get back. Yes. Yes. I'll be there. See you."
I'm asking because I'm trying to write a one-sided phone conversation and I'm not sure what the right way to do it is. Most of the ones I see in fics show both sides of the conversation, which isn't what I want to do in this situation. -
the latter... by
on 2008-11-17 02:34:00 UTC
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...But separate the dialogue with ellipses, to show the pauses when the other party's speaking.
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The second, unless you want narrative in between. by
on 2008-11-16 22:40:00 UTC
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But only if it's long sections of prose, perhaps describing action around the speaker or their thoughts. Short things can be inserted in one paragraph.
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Second it is then... by
on 2008-11-16 22:49:00 UTC
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with BeetleFire's suggestion of ellipses between phrases. And it's now in two paragraphs because I realised that I had a Monster Block O'Text.
Thank you everyone. -
Definitely the second. (nm) by
on 2008-11-16 22:02:00 UTC
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Second, and ... by
on 2008-11-16 21:13:00 UTC
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... insert an ellipsis between each phrase, where you would have put a line break, just to indicate the pauses.
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Second by
on 2008-11-16 20:28:00 UTC
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Yeah, I agree with the previous posters. Like Adagio mentioned, the first looks like some kind of strange conversation between two different people.
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I like the second as well. (nm) by
on 2008-11-16 17:40:00 UTC
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The second. by
on 2008-11-16 17:13:00 UTC
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The first looks sort of like two people talking.