I may regret this

Did the DBS see this one? by Lily Winterwood on 2008-11-14 00:36:00 UTC Reply

Here's the story info.

Title:Ethuil'waew (Grelvish. You can already tell it's going to be baaaaad.)
Series: prequel to Anestel
Author: Esteliel (Wow, that's like "Aragornette"!)
Pairing: Glorfindel/Legolas (This is why I'm telling the DBS.
Rating: NC-17 (Oh no...)
Warnings: non-con, mpreg (Auuugh! Rape AND MPreg? I think I heard the death knells of countless brain cells.)
Disclaimer: All the pretty elves belong to Tolkien, I'm just playing with them and will give them back afterwards. (But I highly doubt he will take them back in their current state of OOC-ness.)
Summary: Glorfindel is on a secret mission in Mirkwood when he meets a Sindarin youth by a lake... Prequel to "Anestel"

I think I need a Bleep-cocktail.

Ow. by Ulalume on 2008-11-17 01:29:00 UTC Reply

I felt a bunch of brain cells go "pop" after reading the summary.
egads, not more mpreg! by Pads on 2008-11-14 11:58:00 UTC Reply

Trojie's been hankering for a nice noncon OOC Elven pornfic for months. Finally the multiverse provides, and it's a damned mpreg! I'll have a dekko when I get back from uni and see if we can face taking it on.

You asked for OOC Elven non Mpreg? by Ansela on 2008-11-15 13:09:00 UTC Reply

A new pet
Glorfindel is finally old enough to have his own pet M/M
Glorfindel/Erestor, Ecthelion/Lindir, master/slave (well, owner/pet) relationships, drunk!abusive!Glorfindel, random!love rival, an elleth captain called 'Genius'. Not porny, but still OOC and extremely AU.

Night Flowers
Thranduil travels to intercept his son, instead he finds something to ease his heart in troubled times. Anal, COMPLETE, HJ, M/M, OC, Oral, SoloM
Thranduil/Erestor, slutty!Erestor, Thranduil leaving Mirkwood shortly after the start of the Quest to travel to Imladris, unnecessary Elvish.

Silver Strings
Haldir visits Imladris, Lindir benfits. HJ, M/M
Haldir/Lindir, from reading it it seems like Imladris elves are not trained in archery because Lindir thinks archers are exotic and arousing, past Elrond/Gil-galad (but Celebrian is not forgotten about either), more unnecessary Elvish.

Searching Through Forbidden Leaves
Young Aragorn has been warned to never enter Mirkwood. However he is determined to find out why and with that comes consequences. Aragorn/Legolas, Aragorn/Haldir M/M, Lemon, Anal, AU, Oral, Slash, WIP
AU does not excuse this. Arathorn/Thranduil WTF?

A Father's Responsibilities
Elrond decides to teach his sons the error of their ways! M/M, BDSM, Inc, Oral, Rim, Slash I repaired the problem at the end of chapter 3. The full chapter is now up!!
I believe the summary gives you all the indication of OOCness needed.

Handcuffs
Sex Language, PWP, Slash, Anal, Bond, Rim
Yes, that is the entire summary. Aragorn/Legolas, Aragorn somehow managing to sneak into Legolas' bedroom and restrain him with handcuffs, handcuffs are now 'horrid and somewhat cruel' and 'cruel and sadistic'. ~~How are potentially violent and dangerous prisoners restrained if not through the use of shackles?~~

Ringspell
The Fellowship takes a detour into Mirkwood, where dark secrets are revealved about their Elven companion... Angst, Language, WIP, Slash, Inc, Anal, H/C, Lime, N/C, Oral
Huh? Maybe DOGA might want this one actually. WTF is Gandalf doing there after they've passed through Lorien?

argh! by Pads on 2008-11-15 15:13:00 UTC Reply

If there is a silver lining, it's that at least I won't have to trawl the Pit myself for a while. Thank you. I think. I shall add them to the Unclaimed Badfic list forthwith, and then go cry in a corner.

We'd like (read: I'd like) to tackle some SGA badslash, but I'm still debating the merits of tackling Moments Sacred and Profance and bringing the wrath of the McBeck shippers down on us, and my brief meander to the Pit proved just one thing: my brain blocks out the horror of the summaries and doesn't actually let me click links to any stories on the Pit these days. So if you fancy finding us some truly horrible SGA badslash that would be much appreciated.

I am not wandering into the SGA section by Ansela on 2008-11-15 16:08:00 UTC Reply

of AFF. The LotR section was bad enough. And I only went there because I wanted to go check to see if one of the five decent Bleach yaoi fics had been updated.

Oh, damn you morbid curiosity. I found a Ronon Mpreg on the very first page. And a McShep one. You want the links?

please by Pads on 2008-11-15 17:22:00 UTC Reply

Although I think it may be time to create the Division of Mpreg as part of the DBS.

You asked for it... by Ansela on 2008-11-15 18:06:00 UTC Reply

Ladi's Name
Summary /prompt : SGA # 8. Ronon/Male of your choice - Satedan biology is a little different than ours M/M, MPreg

2.473 billion to one
There was a 2.473 billion to one chance of it happening. Rodney discovers that John is good at beating the odds... McShep Anal, Angst, AU/AR, COMPLETE, H/C, MPreg, Oneshot

I suppose that you and Trojie would be the first, and possibly only, Agents to populate it.

I may regret this by Pads on 2008-11-15 18:11:00 UTC Reply

So much so, in fact, that I'm not actually going to click those links sober.

We won't be the only agents. The first DMP agent is in the process of obtaining his backstory, and will be accompanied by Trojie and Pads to learn the ropes. Then, hopefully, Trojie will get a break from the mpreg horrors. Pads, on the other hand, seems remarkably unperturbed by them, so we shall see. Of course, we'll be the only ones writing for the DMP, but presumably everyone else has more sense.

*twitch* by Pads on 2008-11-14 17:41:00 UTC Reply

We'll take it. I'm not standing for Glorfindel raping anyone, let alone someone he continually refers to as a child.

I wander off for two days and ... by The Trojanhorse on 2008-11-15 20:42:00 UTC Reply

suddenly there are missions all over the place! Ah well, to work!

Gah, the stupidity (of the fanbrat, not you) burns! by kgarrett on 2008-11-14 01:24:00 UTC Reply

Anyway, no, I don't think DBS has seen it yet. They probably have now that you reported it, though, thanks. I'll move it to Unclaimed Badfic once I'm done reporting a Joker!Sue fic I'm putting up (reporting, not writing, I mean. :P).
If it's not dead, I'll wager they haven't. by Makari on 2008-11-14 00:49:00 UTC Reply

Abusive!Thranduil is nearly automatic badfic status, isn't it? Add rape and mpreg and that poor fic never stood a chance.

...hehe, Aragornette. :P

The sad part is that the author(ess) seems to at least have decent skills. Why turn them to this end?

"His body was golden like his hair..."

Ouch. That can't be fun. Jeez. You'd think they'd be more careful with their similes.

Golden hair/body? Really? by Lily Winterwood on 2008-11-14 00:51:00 UTC Reply

I only really skimmed the fic. Heh.
Looks like someone has the Midas Touch today. x]

That or a Simpsons character is possessing him. by Leto Haven on 2008-11-14 03:42:00 UTC Reply

Simpsons in middle Earth. That would be interesting...

Leto

I'm not sure if that crossover idea is awesome or horrifying by kgarrett on 2008-11-14 04:36:00 UTC Reply

Either way, it's morbidly awesome. In a "I'm not sure whether it's so bad it's good, so bad it's bad, or just plain badass" way. Seriously, think about it. Prime badfic material there, but could also be comedy gold (pun not intended). And it'd change things up either way.

...Okay, on second thought I DON'T want to see Homer/Legolas or Lisa/Boromir or whatever the fanbrats would cook up. O_o

Too late. by Makari on 2008-11-14 05:29:00 UTC Reply

You thought about it, didn't you? :P
Also, you've probably invoked Rule 34 by this point. x.X I believe that's the one that applies, anyway.

Yeah. *wince* by kgarrett on 2008-11-14 12:36:00 UTC Reply

"Rule 34: If it exists, there's porn of it." So yeah, bad idea mentioning it, sorry.