In that case...

OT: Plug: original fantasy. by Neshomeh on 2008-10-14 00:06:00 UTC Reply

I'm plugging my FictionPress account, because I just put some stories on there and they look sad and lonely without any reviews. Here's my account: http://www.fictionpress.com/u/155056/

And, y'know, feel free to look at my other stuff while you're there. ^_~

~Neshomeh

Related question: What makes a good summary? by Neshomeh on 2008-10-14 05:36:00 UTC Reply

How do you hook people without giving away all the important elements of a short story? How do you answer "why should I read this?" about your own work? How do you think my summaries are, and what could I do better?

~Neshomeh

That's a good question. by Sedri on 2008-10-14 22:21:00 UTC Reply

I really don't know. When summarising a fanfic, I always have a general idea of what fanfic readers are attracted by (particularly the types of readers I want - ie, not dragging a book purist into a Susan/Caspian story), but with original fiction... bah.

It probably says something that I read your summaries and didn't start reading the stories. (Something besides the fact that I have almsot no spare time.) I skimmed one of them, but not already knowing the characters, I couldn't fall in easily.

I suppose the most important thing for an original fic summary is to make it sound familiar; give potential readers a grounding with something they already know (say, an apparently stock character - the Innocent Princess, for example) and then give an enticing twist (one of my favourite childrens' books was called "The Tough Princess").

In general... I'd say it needs to be enticing without seeming to beg. Quotes from the text would be good, if you can find something concise and illustrative enough.

... Actually, I really don't know. *shrug* Sorry.

In that case... by Neshomeh on 2008-10-15 01:07:00 UTC Reply

I'll pick your brain about other things. Which story did you skim, and what could I do to make it more fall-into-able, given that you're not expected to know the characters?

I've noticed that I've garnered a lot of hits on my stories, but only three actual comments, and two of those on older works that I'm not really concerned about at the moment. I understand time constraints, but I was really hoping for good critical reading whenever people were/are able to do it. "Opportunity" is really short. So is "Natural Consequences." Pick a single element of a story to critique, even. Title, summary, intro, ending, description(s)... I know I need a better title for "Fugitive," for example. It doesn't really say anything useful about the story.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as pushy or anything like that. I'm just sick of not getting anything beyond "that's cool" and "I liked it" from my RL friends and family. I mean, compliments are good, too, but tell my why it was cool, or what made you like it if that's the case. If something doesn't work, why not? {= P

~Neshomeh, who probably should have been clearer about what she wanted in the original post.

I can do that... by Sedri on 2008-10-15 07:02:00 UTC Reply

But you'll forgive me for not doing it instantly. I'll save all this and read it this evening, and get back to you - by email, maybe?

That would be awesome. by Neshomeh on 2008-10-15 08:04:00 UTC Reply

And, yeah, absolutely in your own time.

I'm not sure whether or not you have my e-mail, so just in case, it is exswyzie14 (AT) yahoo (DOT) com, with the obvious replacements.

~Neshomeh

In my experience... by Artic Blade on 2008-10-16 06:36:00 UTC Reply

You just need to make the summary memorable. Stock characters are a good way to go, they're easy to remember and identify with, but word it wrong and you can make it sound cliche. For me, to make a good summary, you need to give away a small detail that the readers will find out quickly, and make it interesting. One of the best summaries I've seen came from one of my friends for her Sailor Moon fanfic:

'Dane's not fussed she's suddenly the stormheeled warrior, Sailor Aello. she's got more important stuff to be concerned about then wangsting over a past life. That chainsaw inspired youma rushing at her head for example...'

From that, we know it's set in the Sailor Senshi Universe, the character, unlike most, isn't thrilled to be one of the Sailor Scouts, and makes it funny. That instantly caught my attention (Even though I don't follow Sailor Moon) and made me have a look-see.
Now, let's take a look at 'Opportunity'.

'A young king, having just taken back his family's crown, seeks advice from a loyal duke. How the heck do you rule a whole kingdom, anyway? Same world as "Turn, Turn, Turn" and "Fugitive;" different time and place. Completed May, 2008.'

Ok, we can tell it's slightly unusual, because the King doesn't know what to do. However, what throws people off is the latter part of it. Most, if they follow your stories, would assume it's set in the same Universe, and usually they don't really care when it's completed. I know that does sound harsh, but if you saw that on a story, you'd probably pass over it.
Now, let's see if we can pump some life into it!

'Oliver, having just come to the throne of his Kingdom has come to an epic conclusion; he has no idea how to be king! Deciding to better himself, he seeks out the advice of one of his most trusted subjects to find what it truly means to be King.'

Though it might be me being biased, that one seems a little more energetic. It seems a little lighter than what you might be going for though, so I'll try again.

'With his enemies defeated and his family restored to the throne, King Oliver must try to understand what it is to be a King. Realising he can't take this journey alone, he seeks the help of one of his family's most trusted Advisors.'

It's more stoic than the last, but it gets the information across. The word 'Journey' also peaks the responder's interest, and may make them more likely to click.
But yeah, that's just what's happened with me. Hopefully this helped!

Thanks, guys. by Neshomeh on 2008-10-17 19:16:00 UTC Reply

I really appreciate the feedback. With my college years coming to an end, I'm trying to get serious about this, because it's what I really want to do aside from my "real" job.

I've updated most of the summaries now, so I hope they're better. I did keep the "originally completed" dates on the ones that were written more than a year before I actually posted them. I agree that it was clutter in the case of the newer ones, but I think it's important to give an accurate sense of how I've changed (ideally "improved") over time.

Thanks again.

~Neshomeh

Just checking - you did get my email, then? (nm) by Sedri on 2008-10-17 23:24:00 UTC Reply

Yep, I did. by Neshomeh on 2008-10-18 03:00:00 UTC Reply

I have limited internet access at the moment, but I'll reply more fully later. {= )

~Neshomeh

No worries - just checking. Take your time. (nm) by Sedri on 2008-10-19 00:01:00 UTC Reply