Subject: ON a Balrog?
Author:
Posted on: 2008-09-22 07:52:00 UTC
How can you do ANYTHING, let alone have sex, ON a Balrog? Forget "in space"...
Okay, okay, it was a joke. Still, the mental image... Where's my bleepka?
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Warning: You May need Bleepin... by
on 2008-09-21 14:15:00 UTC
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I just found an interesting article on Cracked.com, which details the 5 Most Baffling Sex Scenes in Fanfiction History. It doesn't really go into anything graphic, otherwise my mind would have exploded, but it's an interesting read. Number 2 was quite warped for me...
http://www.cracked.com/article165545-most-baffling-sex-scenes-in-history-fanfiction.html
So yeah, mind-warping is to ensue. Bleeprin and Bleepolate is on me! -
Head, meet desk. by
on 2008-09-26 00:40:00 UTC
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"Hey head!"
"Hey desk! Long time no see!"
"Yeah...did you flunk a pop quiz again?"
"No...I read this article about five baffling sex scenes in Fanfiction..."
"Ooh, that's bad. Go pester someone to get you some Bleepovour."
"I feel like mixing Stuffs with Bleeprin myself..."
*BOOOM* -
There was worse in the comments by
on 2008-09-24 23:02:00 UTC
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One of the comments has the link for a Hitler/Jesus slash. Worse than any of the five mentioned, I would think.
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brain... dies. *CRUNCH* (nm) by
on 2008-09-25 00:45:00 UTC
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Asdfghjkl!?!?!?!?!? by
on 2008-09-24 23:11:00 UTC
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OMGWTFBBQ? You're not being serious, right?
- Sixth comment down by on 2008-09-24 23:13:00 UTC Reply
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What makes it even funnier is the author's note. by
on 2008-09-27 16:14:00 UTC
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Which is:
'Author's note: Adolph Hitler and Jesus are both my original characters. They are copyrighted and you cannot use them without my permission.'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the only thing Adolf Hitler was owned by was the British. -
*snorts* Good one (nm) by
on 2008-09-27 18:06:00 UTC
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OMGWHUT by
on 2008-09-25 23:53:00 UTC
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*sort of...dies...*
DX -
*brain explodes* (nm) by
on 2008-09-25 06:26:00 UTC
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I remember that classic. (nm) by
on 2008-09-25 00:58:00 UTC
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Brain go boom *snickers* by
on 2008-09-23 00:57:00 UTC
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Hilarious. Also slightly traumatizing, as I had no idea stuff like this existed. o.O
The article made it funny, which is good because otherwise I think I might have tried to break something.
Thanks for posting the link. :) Laughter is a good thing. -
Ooh, I remember that! by
on 2008-09-22 10:57:00 UTC
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There was a link on Deleterius, I think - someone wanted to spork #2. Not sure how that turned out, but yeah. I remember staring at the screen and going 'guh?' at #1, but the others I just found hilarious. Meh.
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*has hysterical giggles* That was fantastic by
on 2008-09-22 09:11:00 UTC
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I needed a good laugh, thanks for posting this!
All those pairings could probably make amusing crackfic, although Weasley Twins/Lance Bass is a bit hard to set up, and twincest kinda not my thing (okay, I'll be honest, none of those are 'my thing', before you get any ideas, but incest is one of my very few 'just ... no' things).
Correct me if I'm wrong though, but I'd nominate Kurt Cobain/Axl Rose for 'most baffling sex scene in fanfic history'. It sure as hell baffled me. -
*strained laughter* Oh HELL. by
on 2008-09-22 00:48:00 UTC
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Picard. Elrond. Picard. El- NO. Just... no *shudder*
*chugs Bleepulan Ale* -
Better than a joke idea a friend and I came up with. by
on 2008-09-22 02:44:00 UTC
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Picard, Gandalf, sex on the Balrog, in space.
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If you took out the Balrog... by
on 2008-09-22 12:14:00 UTC
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I'd read it. *hides*
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XD Serious? (nm) by
on 2008-09-23 05:31:00 UTC
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If they made it believable. by
on 2008-09-24 14:30:00 UTC
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I'd love to see how it could work.
I like brain-breaking pairings, when the author actually makes it plausible. And I sort of have a crush on both Picard and Gandalf, so...*goes back into hiding* -
*whacks Tomato with a sledgehammer* by
on 2008-09-24 00:18:00 UTC
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Begging your pardon, but... BLAHARHAHGAGARAHG!
*wails and hides in a corner* Bleepka... want Bleepka. *sniff* -
ON a Balrog? by
on 2008-09-22 07:52:00 UTC
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How can you do ANYTHING, let alone have sex, ON a Balrog? Forget "in space"...
Okay, okay, it was a joke. Still, the mental image... Where's my bleepka? -
I'm not clear on that myself. by
on 2008-09-22 09:55:00 UTC
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But it was still amusing in a horrific way at the time.
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*giggles like a thing demented* (nm) by
on 2008-09-22 00:07:00 UTC
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I think I'm gonna be sick by
on 2008-09-21 23:52:00 UTC
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I really shouldn't have eaten before reading that.
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Someone needs to give those guys a link to "C***b***n" ... by
on 2008-09-21 17:49:00 UTC
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... "Little Miss Mary", too. But their examples were pretty hilarious, if not quite as brain-breaking.
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I admit it. I laughed. (nm) by
on 2008-09-21 17:19:00 UTC
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....oh Glod oh Glod oh Glod oh sweet zombified Zarquon... by
on 2008-09-21 16:57:00 UTC
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...I saw the first few words of #5 and had to leave.
I am filthy-minded. I have a little taste for such things where humor is concerned, as long as it's witty and well-written.
But?
DO. NOT. WAAAAAAAAANT.
*hugs poor Picard*
*grabs as much Bleepolate and Bleepulan Ale as is possible*