Uhhhh...anyone for LotR badfics?

Fer the love of Yavanna Kementari...

A Destiny Revealed
Someone must have thought that the companyof Miss Cam was utterly delightful. They can't get their spacing right. Therefore, I am not reading it. And of course "Marcie" and "Meg" are SUCH elvish names. *eyeroll*

Legolas returns home.
Ha, so much for "She's not a Legolas Luster, so she's not a Mary Sue!" Is Golothgaladh really meant to be a name? ("something tree"...I can't get the first part from the Etymologies...what DOES it mean?)Same goes for Meraithil ("something moon" now, though I suspect it's wish moon)and Lithilien (I swear someone decided to just warp Ithilien for that one...an extra L). Once again, spacing problems occur later on. What an eyesore.

This Isn't Happening
And once again a sweet little teen sails up that river in Egypt as she lands in Rivendell. Elrond is attacked by terrible grammar as our heroine (*snort*) attacks orcs and thinks she's in France. What a way to go...
To the author: Nice penname! Legolas would certainly feel flattered. *eyeroll*

Laicalasse's Tale
WHAT IS IT WITH THESE SPACING PROBLEMS?!?!?
*dodges punctuation rain* Well, this author is trying (by using bits of knowledge that one would know of they really paid attention to the movies or read the books), but there's some 'Suvian properties that need tending to. First off...SHE'S HALF-HOBBIT? And why would Elrond hate hobbits? He's had five in his house. What happened to "kind as Summer"? And a few more Mini-Balrogs get their wings.
By the way: THERE ARE NO SERVANTS IN RIVENDELL!!!!!

But i don't want to leave middle earth
Microwave explosions clearly open up portals to fantasy lands in the middle of a serious war, right? Elrond of Naturally Nine would have these two girls' heads on a mithril platter...possible eleven walkers! And does anyone care to enlighten me as to what "karneambra" means? Because it clearly sounds like 'Suvian Elvish. (Selvish! *laugh*)