Subject: Don't burn it. Just pass the bits along to me.
Author:
Posted on: 2008-07-18 18:42:00 UTC
The mini-Balrogs have plenty of dead 'Sue to eat, but they appreciate a change every now and again.
Ah, the trials of running the mini-Balrog Adoption Centre...
While on the search for another badfic (this time braving the Pit's His Dark Materials fandom, despite the fact that Crebaina's head is totally going to explode), I found two parts of what is apparently going to be a three-part fanfic, each posted separately.
The first part is only one chapter- well, about one paragraph-of-doom, while the second part is slightly longer.
Could both parts be combined into one mission, as the first one isn't really even a fanfic at all?
If it's all still the same story, with the same characters, why not? We consider the Potterverse to be one fandom - doesn't matter that it's printed in seven parts.
Good luck! Perhaps we could find a helmet for Crebaina that would keep her skull intact?
And you are a very brave person to enter the HDM section.
Actually, I have seen a few goodfics there, which I really enjoyed. Both oneshots, but beautifully written.
Ah, goodfic... *wistful sigh*
But, this, well... The person claims that HDM is her favorite series ever, but then proceeds to bugger everything up.
Now, I have no problem with aspiring writers who may have a lot of trouble with plot, grammar, or formatting.
But if you don't bother to study or ask questions where you need help, nor learn important facts about the book you write fic for... I have no sympathy.
I must also write down one particular thing which is bothering me about this fic thus far:
Premise: Will and Lyra have got married and had a child. (Oh, yay! Totally ruining the point of the bittersweet ending! Ye gods... )
Now, they're living in Will's world, and the daughter has no idea that she has a dæmon- her parents kept him from her until he settled (as a cat), and she doesn't understand why they won't let anyone touch him, etc. She thinks he's just her pet cat.
On the plus side, the girl has always felt something missing, but that's the only positive.
Need I say that Will would never do this? He is fascinated by dæmons, as we know, and Lyra would never let him do something so cruel to their own child.
And I think, personally, that the author is really underestimating the power of the connection- which can, after all, break open gates between worlds, as Roger proved. If they haven't been severed, being kept apart until adolescence would be devastating, potentially fatal, to both. She wouldn't just feel sad sometimes.
Why are they hiding this from her, anyway? *controls urge to burn things*
The author has also totally steamrollered over Pullman's name significance- Lyra's daughter is "Lylee."
Lyra happens to be a constellation. D:
Oh, and correct me if I'm wrong, but have panserbjørne ever been referred to as "ice bears" rather than the proper "armoured bears?" Because Suethor did that, too.
...You know, this fic is probably going to be how the still-resentful Teek and Crebaina finally bond. Because Crebaina's mental and emotional state is not going to hold up well.
I think that Panserbjørne were referred to as 'ice bears' at least once or twice. But that's no excuse - movie!canon is not the same as book!canon.
Oh, and wouldn't Lyra be, I dunno, dying if this happened in the actual book? It really sucks hardcore when people decide "Oh, I'm going to change the ending cuz the characters r ttly in ~twu luv~!!111!'. Grr.
Movie!canon is, to me, almost an oxymoron. I'm tempted to write down all my grievances once and for all, in essay format, with quotations from the book to further prove them wrong.
This disregards the whole POINT of the ending. It's a loss of innocence, another banishment from Eden, a fall from grace- call it what you will, but it's bittersweet. Pullman did not intend Twu Wub.
*bashes head against wall*
Lyra would be dying if she was in Will's world and old enough to have an adolescent child, if she wasn't already dead.
Ten years in a different universe would have left her extremely ill, and much longer would have killed her.
Spork that goddamned fic into the ground.
*resists urge to glomp*
That's going on the chargelist.
And there goes another thread of Crebaina's mental and emotional health. Poor girl. It's like RPF fic for her.
I will spork it into the ground, then dig it up, then cut it into little pieces, and jump on them, and then burn them, and then bury the ashes again.
...sorry.
The mini-Balrogs have plenty of dead 'Sue to eat, but they appreciate a change every now and again.
Ah, the trials of running the mini-Balrog Adoption Centre...
Tell me what the Balrogs think of those. I've got plenty here.
I've never seen them enjoy anything that much except bacon.
Got a huge pile of them here... Maybe I should start up a food company for Minis...
Sounds unpleasant.
*Morbid Curiosity wants link*
...'s your funeral and/or brain aneurysm, mate.
The so-called "part 1:" http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4382751/1/LyrasDaughter
Part 2: <a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4385197/1/LyrasDaughterpart2part3comingsoon">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4385197/1/LyrasDaughterpart2part3coming_soon
Although... would April and Fitch be interested in coming along to help kill it? Co-writing something might be fun...
(And Om, Aslan, and/or any other deity of your choice help us if part 3 comes along.)
That's distressing. April and Fitch would be happy to help.
Is the spelling of Glod intentional?
If not can one have mini-jesuses as the Bible is technically a cannon?
And if so can I adopt Glod (being only a newbie I'm not sure on how the etiquette of adoption works)?
If the spelling of Glod is a PPC thing or just something I haven't come across please ignore this post (it won't be the first time I've made a tit of myself on the message board today.)
Now, how does one co-write something around these parts?
:/
*pauses to cry for the English language*
Some people use chat or messaging systems to write it one sentence at a time, or they plan out the plot together and one person writes it up, or...lots of options.
One sentence at a time would be a bit tedious, I think...
Isn't there also Google Documents or something?
If we can figure out how it works, we could try it.
(BTW, my e-mail is agent_tomato (at) yahoo (dot) com, in case this thread gets bumped off the page before we're done talking.)
Neither have I, actually- insanegrrl suggested it to me.
But there's an FAQ here:
http://docs.google.com/support/?hl=en
Thanks! And, in answer-
lycaenion (at) gmail (dot) com. :)
See, it's fics like that that have made one of my Agents go TF-Gun crazy within HQ.
Ok, she can use the Subtle Knife, after finding it and the Alethiometer under Lyra and Will's bed. And she instantly knows that Theo is her daemon...
See, the part I'm having trouble with is that Mrs Coulter instantly accepts that Lylee *Shudders* is her granddaughter.
Well, Agent Lunac has a few Pokemon, and other animals, if you need a fake daemon for Agent Teek. His Pokemon are specifically trained to attract and amuse 'Sues until you get them into place for the annihlation as well. Funfunfun!
I'm very much obliged. *tips hat*
Teek loves Pokemon... but I think that would really stand out, even in the Sueverse. And she would take François (the iguana) but he tends to bite. A lot.
I do accept your offer on the part of a regular animal, though. What has Lunac got?
Well, he has three of those reddish border-collie pup things from Final Fantasy X-2 (Their mother was a Cute Animal Friend). Additionally, there is also a recently found Mini-Chocobo, which COULD pass for a normal animal, if it isn't seen too frequently (Use of a SEP Field would be useful).
There is also a horse who is the (Eugh) daughter of Epona, from Legend of Zelda, and therefore, very intelligent. No found 'Suish qualities yet though.
Other than that, he has a Kecleon in stroage which can change its colour to look like a normal chameleon. There's also Arit, the mini-Agent who shapeshifts on demand since no-one knows what he is, so he could be used to suit the way daemons change their shape if your Agents are adapting a young persona.
And that's about it. Arit would probably be your best bet though, since he's intelligent. Other than that, maybe Epona's daughter? She was never really given a name, so if you want, your Agents could name her, or something like that.