Subject: How about NOPE.
Author:
Posted on: 2013-03-23 06:14:00 UTC
I gave up two sentences in. So bad it's truly impressive.
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Badfic Report by
on 2013-03-22 18:54:00 UTC
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There is a new chapter for the horrible, horrible Star Trek: Voyager fic that I plan to mission. Honestly, I'm hesitant to mission it - I don't when it's going to be finished, and I don't want to miss sporking a single word. Enjoy! http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7089561/12/
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Prepare to vomit by
on 2013-04-04 04:22:00 UTC
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Nominating this for badfic status for deplorable grammar, a VERY OC Hermione (good God.....), choppy pacing, even shorter chapters and a lack of elaborations. Pretty sure 'Mione isn't in any way canon by the way.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8994675/1/My-Diary -
Just... how? Just how? by
on 2013-04-04 22:09:00 UTC
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I am not going to claim that Harry Potter is one of my core fandoms by a long stretch, but I read all of the books at least three times each, which gave me enough fandom-attachment for that filth to make me feel like I'd been punched in the throat. I am almost certain that this Suethor created the anti-Herminone. Literally everything about her personality is swapped almost the full one hundred eighty degrees. And the dialogue attribution, sweet Eris! If someone's own OCs are so like their depictions of canon characters that a reader cannot tell them apart, which is in itself a huge problem, they should at least not have a canon and an OC speak in the same conversation without letting the reader know which character is saying which line! Just... uugghhhh.
Are you missioning this yourself? If you aren't, I suggest finding out who the most fervent Harry Potter fan in the PPC is, sending them the link, and saying "THIS BLOODY THING NEEDS TO DIE RIGHT NOW." You can do it without the capital letters if you so wish. -
I agree. It's )&&*# by
on 2013-04-04 22:51:00 UTC
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I would do it, if I had time. Don't think I'll even be asking for permission for another couple of months though. We end in late May/Early June (snow day laws) so finals are getting here faster than a Firebolt.
It does need to die now, though. Do you know who the biggest HP nut is around here? I might just put up the link in the IRC and seeing who looks.
I also submitted it for the MST thing, but there are a lot of other fics signed up for it. -
Right parenthesis ampersand ampersand asterisk number sign? by
on 2013-04-05 01:27:00 UTC
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Well, as long as nobody else missions it before you, you should be able to do it after you get your Permission, if it comes to that. Or, if you put it up in the IRC and someone jumps at it, you can let them have it. Either way would work.
If you can't find anyone who wants it in the IRC, you could always just put it on the Unclaimed Badfic page and check back later when you're planning your Permission to see if it's still there. Claimed Badfics have an awful habit of sitting around and not getting missions written about them, but it would be better than just letting it sit there, and if the person who claimed it abandons the mission they were making for it, you could always just ask for missioning rights back.
As for who the biggest Harry Potter fan is, I honestly couldn't tell you. I'm still pretty new on the Board, so I don't know many people other than the regular posters and a few others I met through the IRC. I didn't even know we had an MST queue until you brought it up, and I don't know where it is. -
*Hermione by
on 2013-04-04 22:12:00 UTC
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I appear to have accidentally freed the mini-Aragog Herminone from its home at OFUH. Where's my portal generator? Ah, there it is.
(portals the intrusive mini back to Filch's office at OFUH)
Sorry about that. Carry on, everyone. -
Got a list of pony badfic. by
on 2013-03-26 05:25:00 UTC
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First, I want to thank the good people behind Fan/fic/ Theater 3000 for providing a wonderful list of awful fanfiction. You can find their lists on the main hub page here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uJ8FqW1zBIzsYZoe4M1ILS9H8wgk2zjEEGQqmgNsfIg/edit
However, My Brave Pony by Mykan (just read the MST on the page, it's better for your sanity) and Pinkamena: The pink shadow:www.fimfiction.net/story/46056/pinkamena-the-pink-shadow are two of the worst fanfictions I have ever read EVER. Just... just read them.
Yes, Marvin and Printworthy are unfortunate enough to be going into them, and somebody special is going to make their appearance in Pinkamena: The pink shadow, but a collaboration for My Brave Pony would be open and appreciated. The reason is that the fic is simply too darned massive, I cannot handle it myself. Well, not without a huge amount of work that is, and I would have to find some way to make sure my agents don't take some nukes from Fallout Equestria and carpet bomb the entire land of Unicornocopia too soon. Yes that is the name of the country. The citizens are anthropomorphic alicorn Sues that call themselves unicorns, despite their wings, and use the magic of believing. Believing in what, we never learn, just believing. And the Celestia counterpart is an alicorn with three golden horns that can cast a spell called the Uni-force... Yeah, it's going down in flames, just as soon as I find out how. -
Oh, I've heard of some of these... by
on 2013-03-26 14:51:00 UTC
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I can't access any of the fanfics on that page because the links on the Google Document wouldn't work, something about needing permission from the document's original author, so I had to look most of those up myself. Some of the fics have been removed since that document's creation and, I don't think that everything on that list was irredeemable enough to be missioned, but most of them are, especially the Star Fleet Magic series. One word: UUUGGGHHHHH.
If you want help from others with that one, you could trick some agents (in-universe, of course; actual co-writers would read the fic first) into thinking that it was a crossover with Star Trek. Once they were inside, they'd realize that it wasn't, but one of your agents could respond with "Well, there's not much My Little Pony in here, either, is there?" Wait, that sounded better in my head. Either way, any hard feelings that the other agents retain for being tricked could be resolved through the magic of blowing up dimensional aberrations. There's no bonding quite like the bonding that happens when you destroy a mutual enemy together!
On another note, that Through the Eyes of Another Pony fic is possibly the most egregious Humans in Equestria author avatar that I have ever seen. Notably, I haven't seen very many, because I usually stay away from them unless they're obvious jokes(Choose Your Own Adventure: Brony Hero of Equestria comes to mind there, especially since it was actually pretty funny.), but that one... no. Just no. He contaminates the canon ruthlessly, he can't keep consistent for his own rules about any of the new components, and he turns Nightmare Moon's story of jealousy, loss, and madness into "Luna was possessed by a ghost the whole time, and now a second human is controlling that ghost". And the Author Avatar seduces Luna and gives her access to the Internet. Excuse me while I vent my fury through loud outbursts of Angrish. -
Noses in with a Percy Jackson horror by
on 2013-03-25 22:47:00 UTC
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Well, it claims to be Family/Romance, but the spelling and grammar ...
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9104473/1/lost-and-found
Title: lost and found
Summery: the daughter of percy and artemis has been found at camp,how will the couple deal with a child the dont know even existed first fanfic,flames welcome !
Compared to the rest of the fic this is eloquent. Also, Artemis is a virgin goddess, when will people realize that the only guy she even considered was the great hunter Orion and Apollo was so jealous he caused Orion's death? (Or at least that's one version.)
As a bonus, have the first sentence:
Hunter ran , the trees ripping into her skin but she still carried on her long black hair was twisted an knotted down her back and her jeans were splattered with mud and leaves from the forest. -
*gags* by
on 2013-03-26 00:54:00 UTC
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For all I say below about laughing at badfic...I can't. I really can't. It's because Star Trek is how I got into fandom and fanfiction, so I'm more used to seeing things there. But Percy Jackson...this hurts. HOW DARE SHE BREAK UP PERCABETH TO PUT PERCY WITH A MAIDEN GODDESS! HOW DARE - *runs off to find bleepolate before I start ranting*
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Well see, I am more of a Percy/Kronos shipper... by
on 2013-03-26 05:04:00 UTC
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...I cant even say that with a strait face. Even I, the guy who rolls his eyes at shipping in general, love Percabeth. It's canon, its sweet, and most of all, it is realistic. Their relationship is so heartwarming, they are my true OTP.
Now, as for the fic...I want to see it killed in fire and a rain of sporks. Whomever wants to take it, go ahead. I can't, as I still have Marvin and Printworthy to do stuff with, but anyone who does, kill it with whatever you got. -
Well, Percy/Luke has hotness potential ... by
on 2013-03-26 10:26:00 UTC
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Even if I'm not a fan of hero archetypes. But, yes Percabeth just makes so much sense. For that matter where on Earth is Annabeth during this fic? Presumably the same plothole as every character besides Percy, Artemis and a brief mention of presumably!Chiron, described as a horse like man.
I am a rabid Greek mythology geek and Artemis is my favourite of all the gods, so anything that affects her can go straight to Hades. -
I must not kill computer screens by
on 2013-03-25 20:59:00 UTC
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I made it through the first page before something died inside of me. This reminds me of a fic I read a while back... but you don't want to hear about it. Trust me.
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Legendary Badfic? by
on 2013-03-23 19:47:00 UTC
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With this fic's gradually increasing length and exponentially increasing stupidity and bad SPaG, it seems to me like it could be a candidate for Legendary Badfic status, or at least Bleepfic status. Quoting for both pages on the wiki:
"Legendary Badfic is a collective name for the worst badfic encountered by the PPC, specifically those 'fics which most of the community have heard of and (in many cases) been traumatized by."
"Bleepfics, also known as worsefics, AUGHfics, Glaurunging Badfics and several other terms, are those badfics as painful and terrible to read as any Legendary Badfic, but not well-known enough by the community to be considered truly legendary."
So, should it be on at least one of these lists?
(Also, here's some good advice from Pinkie Pie on how to deal with badfic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrPte1uijDw) -
You may have a point there. Also, another candidate. by
on 2013-03-24 08:15:00 UTC
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Ok, I'm sorry, I'm listening to that song, and all that's going through my head (besides, 'oh, hey, I didn't realize the show had songs') is, 'how exactly does anyone equate that singing pink pony with Batman??'
(Ok, fine, it was also a very cute song. Thanks for sharing :) )
Now, to the actual topic--I do agree with you that this fic's awful quality (and I barely even read any of it, so...that's how bad it is) does make it a candidate for at least one of those categories. Most likely the Bleepfic one, unless it's better known by the community than I think it is...of course, it may become better heard of once there's a mission for it :)
On a slightly different note, I'd like to submit this fic for Bleepfic status, at the very least. For being a terrible songfic without disclaimers, for consisting of disconnected chapters consisting of song lyrics with run-on sentences before and after the lyrics, for exceedingly random and unexplained crossovers (including TOS, Star Wars, and I don't even want to know what else), for odd instances of 21st century movies, ads, and music appearing in the 23rd century, for mentioning Picard before he's even bloody well born-- *deep breath* For all this and more, and for the complete and utter ruination of Spock's character--to whit, forcing him to act like a whiny, emotional, human teenager instead of a stoic, logical, half-Vulcan thirty-year-old--for badly-written romance, for badly-formatted songs, for revealing no grasp of the ideas and characters in Star Trek, for currently being 61 chapters of bad songfic and intending to reach 100 chapters, this fic is condemned to be PPC'd and its characters exorcized with extreme prejudice. Although the way it's going, Spock'll be a replacement, and can be charged and terminated with extreme prejudice.
Do you see why I don't like this fic? It made me run away screaming and crying for goodfic after stupidly reading thirteen chapters at once. Considering that those chapters included Spock singing the words "listen to your heart", an actual, plausible plot (minus the singing) that was ruined by the text after the song, an unexplained Star Wars crossover, Spock grinned ear to ear, a chapter with a plot that would work perfectly and be almost completely in character--if only the Star Trek characters were Blaine Anderson and the Warblers from Glee, SPOCK yelling 'WOOHOO' (as part of a song), some random person named Borris (not a clue where he came from, and I don't remember him in canon), Picard being mentioned a century before his birth, and, the coup de 'grace', the entire Enterprise crew going to McCoy's "family ranch" on shore leave. All 400 of them. Yeah. That's the bit where I ran away screaming. I mean, it was just too much. Spock had been replaced by a human teenager back in chapter 32, McCoy was living in a dump before he joined Starfleet, Spock had Single Tear Syndrome, and McCoy is seriously in love with old music and movies in this fic. Seriously, he sees an ad for Toy Story 3, has a ridiculously old (by his time, anyway) song as his ringtone (and I'll bet the phone itself looks very 21st century in design), and he's been watching Star Wars recently. I think he may be addicted to a very strange history channel.
Oh, yes, and here's the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8860223/1/rare-musical-moments-on-the-USS-Enterprise Read it if you dare. I'm also claiming the bloody thing, although I wouldn't mind a co-writer when the time comes to actually take it on. Oh, and did I mention it spawns mini-tribbles as well? Not too many, but they're there.
Ugh. Off to skim through the new chapters and eat several bars of Bleepolate...
~DawnFire -
Ow. Ow. Ow. by
on 2013-03-24 14:48:00 UTC
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They did NOT just butcher Adele. They did NOT just butcher Adele. She is the ONE singer from the 21st century that I actually think will endure to the 23rd. Ow. Ow. Ow. I think they're all character replacements. Terminate with extreme prejudice.
And OH MY GODS ARE THEY SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM TO HONOR VULCANS' LIVES?! Bad, bad, bad.
And the way all the women of the Enterprise seem to view the men - as if dating them is the most important thing in their lives? Agent Tanya volunteers for this mission.
Oh, and Scotty is now a cute little Scottie. Like Toto or something. -
*pats* by
on 2013-03-24 20:38:00 UTC
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I hope you didn't read too much of it. It can be astoundingly painful in large doses.
...waitaminute...you could use it for torture at OFAS! :D
Which Adele song was butchered? I feel like it was "Someone Like You", but I can't remember and I really don't feel like checking--I've already got a headache. (And dare I ask what the 'plot' of that chapter was...?)
Most of them are wildly OOC at best and character ruptures/replacements at worst. By the end of all 100 chapters, I'm sure they'll all have been replaced, except perhaps for some of the more minor characters, and even that's a bit iffy.
Ugh, yeah--this fic in no way reminds me of the ideals and social standards of Star Trek's 23rd century. Agent Tanya is most welcome to join; I'm sure she'll be welcomed with open arms.
Scottie...*sigh* Well, I'm sure Agent Dawn would like a pet dog...
As long as you don't mind that I already have some ideas for what happens during this mission, you're quite welcome to join (as in, I'll probably glomp you and not let go until you threaten to leave, after which I'll get down on my knees and beg you not to). I have a Star Trek fanfic that's been in the works for a while, and I want to bring them in--and even have a way to do it--so that they can, uh, join in the fun. I can elaborate more on both the fanfic and the ideas about bringing them in if asked :) Anyway, I (and my agents) will be extremely glad to work with you and Agent Tanya. You can (try) to keep us all from becoming too insane :)
(I really, really want a wonderful fic about McCoy and Joanna and several wonderful episodes full of Vulcan and Doctor snark and--and--and Kirk in there somewhere, and I should probably just go watch TOS, shouldn't I. That gives me everything except for Joanna.)
~DawnFire -
It was "Rolling in the Deep"... by
on 2013-03-25 02:41:00 UTC
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And it was Gaila's breakup song to Kirk. As if they were actually dating. Or the Orions knew Adele.
Like I said, this fic has already inspired me to come up with the idea of a concert at OFAS of canonical Star Trek music - e.g. Spock playing Vulcan harp, Uhura singing whatever she sang the one episode ("Charlie X, maybe?), Data playing the violin, Worf singing Klingon opera, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
I mention Tanya Verde because she's my self-insert, and my "angry feminist" tendencies are exaggerated in her. Of course, I should write some missions with her before I start volunteering her for things...
Speaking of writing...*runs off to write OFAS* -
Ooh. by
on 2013-03-25 10:08:00 UTC
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Wait, huh? Ok, weird. Really, really weird.
That's what really bugs me about this fic (or one thing, anyway). This music is all really, really, really old by the time they're supposedly singing it. It's also often inappropriate for the culture and heritage of the person singing (see: Spock singing with abysmal grammar, Gaila singing Adele...) Even worse, the songs occasionally are meant to tell a story that matches up with the characters' story, and completely fails--such as Uhura singing Taylor Swift's "Love Story". Now, I don't have anything against Taylor Swift, but I can't see Uhura singing her songs, and what's even worse is that the story in the song doesn't at all fit the Spock/Nyota romance. At all. Ugh.
But seriously, this whole singing really old songs thing? It's about the same as if I were to write a 100-chapter fic about people singing...well...the only thing I can come up with right now is Gilbert & Sullivan opera, because I'm not actually all that sure what music was popular in the Victorian era. Actually, I probably do know some folk songs, but most of them may be even older...but that's the thing: having the Enterprise crew rocking out to "I've got a feeling" is about the same as if I wrote something dealing with...I don't know, the cast of Glee--no, wait, they actually sing a lot canonically. Uh...let's go with...all the BBC Sherlock characters having a party to the sounds of:
Ring the merry bells on boardship, rend the air with warbling wild
For the union of His Lordship with a humble captain's child! (from G&S' HMS Pinafore)
I mean, admittedly, with Sherlock canons it could be written off as a tribute to the original Sherlock Holmes stories, but...it still seems very strange, doesn't it? I mean, it would be one thing if they were singing the modern remakes of those songs, but as it is...it kind of feels like Bones is addicted to a weird history channel and the others have no excuse. Or frequently watch it with him.
(Just as long as they don't start singing High School Musical...)
Right, the concert! If it's held after this mission, then I can just see Agent Dawn hugging herself and grinning, mumbling, 'Sweet, sweet canonical music, how I love thee. Let me count the ways...' And then whoever's sitting next to her either tells her to be quiet and enjoy the music or, if it's a student, probably asks how she's managing to enjoy this. (Also, it turns out that Dawn has now become the [future] part-time coordinator of the Avengers OFU, mostly because her sister is the full-time coordinator. Make of that what you will.
Ah, got it. Well, she's quite welcome; and I've got some missions to write before I get to this one anyway. In fact, I'm still working on the first one...
*Gives a cheer for OFAS* *Runs off to write that pesky first mission*
~DawnFire -
Ugh. Sorry about the double-post--my internet's wonky. (nm) by
on 2013-03-24 20:54:00 UTC
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*pats* by
on 2013-03-24 19:45:00 UTC
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I hope you didn't read too much of it. It can be astoundingly painful in large doses.
...waitaminute...you could use it for torture at OFAS! :D
Which Adele song was butchered? I feel like it was "Someone Like You", but I can't remember and I really don't feel like checking--I've already got a headache. (And dare I ask what the 'plot' of that chapter was...?)
Most of them are wildly OOC at best and character ruptures/replacements at worst. By the end of all 100 chapters, I'm sure they'll all have been replaced, except perhaps for some of the more minor characters, and even that's a bit iffy.
Ugh, yeah--this fic in no way reminds me of the ideals and social standards of Star Trek's 23rd century. Agent Tanya is most welcome to join; I'm sure she'll be welcomed with open arms.
Scottie...*sigh* Well, I'm sure Agent Dawn would like a pet dog...
As long as you don't mind that I already have some ideas for what happens during this mission, you're quite welcome to join (as in, I'll probably glomp you and not let go until you threaten to leave, after which I'll get down on my knees and beg you not to). I have a Star Trek fanfic that's been in the works for a while, and I want to bring them in--and even have a way to do it--so that they can, uh, join in the fun. I can elaborate more on both the fanfic and the ideas about bringing them in if asked :) Anyway, I (and my agents) will be extremely glad to work with you and Agent Tanya. You can (try) to keep us all from becoming too insane :)
(I really, really want a wonderful fic about McCoy and Joanna and several wonderful episodes full of Vulcan and Doctor snark and--and--and Kirk in there somewhere, and I should probably just go watch TOS, shouldn't I. That gives me everything except for Joanna.)
~DawnFire -
Not more... by
on 2013-03-23 11:21:00 UTC
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If this thing gets much bigger, you might have to call in backup.
Oh, I feel so sorry for poor Icheb. Then again, at least he'll have plenty of guards at OFAS.
I also feel sorry for the Borg, who, being about the most dangerous recurring threat to Starfleet, seem to get the receiving end of Suvian bad-guy hunts nearly all the time. You NEED a class at OFAS to dissuade fanbrats from their 'lets go hunt and defeat easily the biggest big bad we can find' attitude. (Oh, and preferably make it a practical class...)
Oh, and when you spork this, please please PLEASE explain to the 'Sue that there is a very big difference between beings of supernatural evil and a technological hive mind seeking perfection.
Don't even get me started on nanites and water. Clearly this 'Sue doesn't know there is a certain amount of water in blood, and throughout the body (which is necessary to keep the correct concentration gradients of various ions and other substances). Sparing you a lengthy Biology lecture, it is pretty safe to say that if nanites stopping working in water, the Borg would not exactly have got very far, now would they?
(While I am guilty of the occasional joke about defeating Borg drones with water-pistols, I'm sure such an advanced species would already have thought of that and fixed the problem.)
Oh, and the source of the water... summon the Department of Temporal Offences, please. I'm pretty sure Voyager technology does not involve pipes like that.
Now, please excuse me: I need to raid the Bleepolate stash in the cupboard before I go completely crazy. -
Actually, about the Borg... by
on 2013-03-23 19:26:00 UTC
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I don't actually see them in badfic that much. Just Shaundrah and Jack Russel. Doesn't mean that we don't need a class, though. Sues and Stus do underestimate the capabilities of many Trekverse villains. Ooh, Lore would have something to say about his lusters. "I am not the 'bad boy' version of Data! I'm a VILLAIN!"
I think she's confusing the Borg with beings of supernatural evil because she's "CHRISTAIN". Not Christian, mind you, the capslocked, misspelled version. That, and that "Harry Potter Turns to the Lord" is the only story in her favorites, suggest to me that she's not particularly sane about her religion, therefore may be labeling anything bad as supernatural evil, rather than working within the Star Trek universe, which does not label anything as "evil". The Borg were the closest, then Seven happened and we saw more nuances.
Yes, when I call for backup, the DTO will be on my list. As will the DTE. :)
Oh gods...Just looked at her profile. Remember how she mentioned her "cosine" Amy? Well, said trig function has an account.
And they're co-writing a story. With Captain Picard's daughter, T'Ashlynn. I kid you not.
Head, meet desk. -
You and Cyba might be working together to kill this one? by
on 2013-03-23 21:50:00 UTC
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Here, take this. It's a large brightly colored bag filled with OH HELL YES.
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However... by
on 2013-03-23 20:06:00 UTC
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... it would appear that said trig function also has better spelling. Not perfect, mind, but a LOT better (not that that is exactly difficult, but still).
Oh, and I also had another idea. I'm not sure if anybody has come up with this, but I thought SPaGhetti would be an interesting foodstuff (presumably made from either good or, more likely, bad SPaG). -
Addendum by
on 2013-03-23 11:32:00 UTC
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Actually, I know exactly why water was such a problem. It's because that 'Sue is still making them use 'nanaprobes', which clearly don't mix well with water.
AAARGH! *Bangs head on wall* -
Addendum 2 by
on 2013-03-23 11:54:00 UTC
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Oh look what I discovered in the earlier chapters: a 'trickorder'. That sounds like a phone with a dedicated line to Peeves, or Q, to order tricks played on somebody.
*Snickers loudly*
Maybe that's how the 'bog cube' got there. A certain pair of Weasleys' doing, perhaps?
Also, the wiki mentions a type of mini called a 'cliffie'. We may now have another, called a 'calf hanger'. (That or it's a very bizarre object.) -
How about NOPE. by
on 2013-03-23 06:14:00 UTC
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I gave up two sentences in. So bad it's truly impressive.
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DAT SUMMARY. by
on 2013-03-23 04:24:00 UTC
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Seriously though, what the crap did I just read?
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Star Trek fandom gone horribly, horribly, wrong. by
on 2013-03-23 19:49:00 UTC
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I apologize for the mental scarring.
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Not Safe For Brain... by
on 2013-03-23 02:53:00 UTC
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At first, when I was reading this abomination(curse my morbid curiosity!), all of the rampant spelling errors in the first sentence and the lack of premise made me think "This has got to be a troll." Then I realized that I was on the twelfth chapter. When I went back and looked at the first few chapters, that statement turned into a sanity-preservation mantra.
I skimmed the fic for minis, having a hunch that this would break the mini-collection record that was until recently hoisted begrudgingly by the mission for "Rainbowdash goes to the Mushroom Kinkdom". It did, and it did so by a lot. There are THIRTY-NINE MINIS HERE. Even not counting the two mini-Sues and the minis of Trekverse technology (I'm not sure if misspellings that aren't places or characters get their own minis), this blows the old record out of the water.
I have to focus only on the abuse of spelling and grammar rather than the other flaws. One flaw above all others. If I do not, and I realize the full immensity of this fic's stupidity at once, I will go completely rathive maggots for hours.
This has got to be a troll. This has got to be a troll. This has got to be a troll.
Oh, wait... (digs out newbie gifts) I know I had Bleeprin candy in here somewhere. AH! THE AMBROSIA OF LETHE ITSELF! (consumes several "Bleep'n'ms")
Hoooo... I'm fine now. All I can remember now is the sheer number of minis that Suethor made of Icheb. Thanks, Khaosity, for temporarily staving off the encroach of my madness!
Seriously, though, it's actually a good thing you're waiting a while to spork this one. Your agents should probably get a buffer of slightly less awful missions beforehand. This is not a first mission. This is the sort of mission that the Sequoia(or Rain, as I've heard she likes to be called) would give her agents when they've been bad. -
The thing is... by
on 2013-03-23 19:40:00 UTC
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I'm actually not completely convinced this is a troll. Check her profile. She's changed it since I first saw it, yet the same sort of things are on it - she lives in Canada, but goes to the US because she likes the malls better, she dislikes Olive Garden because she got food poisoning. She's specified that said mall is in Buffalo, NY, which is quite close to the border. Either she's genuine, or this troll took notes on their online persona and changed the profile just to make it look like she's recently visited Buffalo. Awfully dedicated.
Well, this was planned as a second mission. And the first mission is going to go horribly, horribly wrong.
Also, I've found Pinkie's advice helps with dealing with badfic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrPte1uijDw At the very least, it should cheer you up. -
So... it's not a troll... (shudders) by
on 2013-03-23 21:44:00 UTC
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It's a good thing that I listened to that song before I read the rest of your post. For once, my impulsive "Ooh, Youtube link!" reaction has actually helped out.
I had always thought that trollfics were distilling and amplifying all that made badfic bad for the "lulz". Yet, I suppose even archetypical trolls like Peter Chimera had to take notes from something on how to make readers' skin crawl.
Normally, this sort of revelation would fill me with a deep, primal horror, the sort of feeling you only get when you realize that what you just saw was even worse than the already world-wrecking awfulness that it had been the first time around. Now, it's not, for some reason. I'm chalking it up to either temporary mental numbness from shock or residual exposure to Pinkie Pie. Probably a lot of the latter with a sprinkling of the former.
What did your agents do the first time to get them saddled with this as their second-ever mission? I'm not saying reveal spoilers; that would be no fun. Can you give me a hint, though? Did it involve accidentally killing a canon? Did some planet get assimilated that ought not to have been? Did their Psych profiles show an unusual tolerance to horrible plot contrivance? -
I don't want to give away spoilers. by
on 2013-03-23 21:58:00 UTC
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Though I will say it isn't as bad as what you're thinking.
Though, honestly, Pinkie's reaction has been mine when going through this fic. Yes, it's horrid, but some time ago it crossed the line of "unspeakably bad" and twisted back around to "extremely entertaining". So I'm feeling like my agents might be laughing, that this might be almost a break for them, I mean, this was their first mission, and while it looks short, it goes badly. -
Uuuuuugggghhhh. by
on 2013-03-24 08:32:00 UTC
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I can't even. Do not want. Ugh. Argh. Gyah. Ick.
I would not like to be your agents and have to go on that mission. Not ever. Ick. And I haven't even seen that much of TNG, but...blargh. That's a bleepfic all on its own, I think.
Going to go scrub my brain now. *shudders* Badfic overload, I think. No more for today, hopefully...
~DawnFire -
Re: I don't want to give away spoilers. by
on 2013-03-23 23:16:00 UTC
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Actually, out of those two, the one you just posted was the one that crossed over to laugh-out-loud ridiculous for me. Maybe its the fact that there are unexplained fantasy elements crossing into the Trekverse at random times, or maybe it's the unintentionally hilarious lines like "Are you an angle?"
Yes, Ensign, she is. I've noticed that Sues tend to be very... obtuse! (dodges tomatoes) -
I don't even watch Star Trek.... by
on 2013-03-23 01:57:00 UTC
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And after reading the first sentence even I know that's bad...
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Ah star trek fics by
on 2013-03-23 00:10:00 UTC
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I don't think we get to see enough of these taken out.
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I know. by
on 2013-03-23 17:54:00 UTC
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That's why my agents are in the Star Trek division. They don't have any missions yet, but they will be tackling only Trek.
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Oh man. by
on 2013-03-22 23:52:00 UTC
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I read the summary and went "LOL NOPE."
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My reaction was similar. Read, raise eyebrow, close tab. (nm) by
on 2013-03-22 23:54:00 UTC
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That says a lot for such a short summary. (nm) by
on 2013-03-23 01:57:00 UTC
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