Subject: Re: Hobbit 3 Speculation Thread
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Posted on: 2014-07-18 23:55:00 UTC

"-The B5A will take place simultaneously with the assault on Dol Guldur.
--This may require Gandalf to teleport."

I started both laughing and shaking my head here. PJ's recurring problem with the Hobbit is that he has no sense of scale whatsoever.

"-The majority of the film will be the Battle of the Five Armies itself."

I dunno, PJ loves wandering in caves and there will still be Smaug's assault on Lake Town for the first eh, twenty minutes. We need to get Bard and co. up to the lonely mountain, but PJ thinks that's a day's hike, so it won't take any screentime. I guarantee no wandering around with the Arkenstone, but maybe Thorin being a jerk about it because the Arkenstone is apparently as addictive and irrationality-making to his line as a Silmaril is to a Feanorian.

"-Some of the dwarves who are supposed to live will die.

-Another solid prediction: Tauriel will die, probably at Kili's side, probably while Legolas fails to save her."

Not before there's another showdown with Thorin and Azog, though. That will happen first.

"-Bard will continue to look disturbingly like Will Turner."

I'd managed not to see that yet. Now I can't unsee it.

"-Bilbo will not get knocked unconscious for most of the B5A, but will run around killing things."

Pretty much guaranteed. He may still be knocked out though... at like the end of the battle or something.

Things I would love to see: Galadriel with a sword would be awesome, but they probably won't have her show up if Tauriel's there. While I would love for them to even battle near each other, I'm pretty sure these movies can't pass the Bedschel test unless there's a child involved. (I do love Bard's kids, though.) She'd be at Dol Gildur, probably.

Any action or even group sequence in which I can pick out more than 6 of 13 dwarves and remember which name goes to which face. (Bombur, Thorin, Fili, Kili, Dwalin and Balin are the only ones whose faces I can identify right away: I need a lineup for the other seven, which isn't good when we're two movies in already. I did better with the random extracanonical Rhorrim in the last trilogy.)

I agree with you on Sauruman: he needs to be shown earning his keep on the white council. He also needs to stop hitting us over the head with unnecessary "foreshadowing" that he's Omg!evil! because 1) WE ALREADY KNOW 2)Galadriel and Gandalf are not that dense, even if they're busy playing with their random telepathy, 3) PJ does remember that 60 years pass between this and Fellowship, right?

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