Subject: Re: Hobbit 3 Speculation Thread
Author:
Posted on: 2014-07-19 00:44:00 UTC
3) PJ does remember that 60 years pass between this and Fellowship, right?
I really, really doubt it.
Subject: Re: Hobbit 3 Speculation Thread
Author:
Posted on: 2014-07-19 00:44:00 UTC
3) PJ does remember that 60 years pass between this and Fellowship, right?
I really, really doubt it.
So we're about five months out from the release of The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies. With the usual caveat that I'm going to be wildly annoyed by the many ways PJ will undoubtedly break the canon, I'm looking forward to it - though I'm also a bit sad (again!) that this December will be our last trip to Middle-earth. On the other hand, next December, the EE should be out... six-film marathon, anyone? (Or maybe eight, if we include the two award-winning fan-films)
So the film's coming up, but as far as I'm aware, we still don't even have a trailer! :O That must mean it's time for wild speculation to fill the gap. So, here's what I think we could see in H:B5A:
-The majority of the film will be the Battle of the Five Armies itself.
--To make it more exciting, Smaug will somehow not die until the battle happens. Or he'll come back.
-The B5A will take place simultaneously with the assault on Dol Guldur.
--This may require Gandalf to teleport.
-In a concerted effort to make the later films utterly impossible, Sauron will sense Bilbo's use of the Ring.
--In fact, here's a concrete prediction for you: on sensing the Ring at Erebor, 'the Necromancer' will resurrect Smaug to have him try and steal it.
---Following which, Bilbo will (re)kill Smaug directly.
-Some of the dwarves who are supposed to live will die.
-Another solid prediction: Tauriel will die, probably at Kili's side, probably while Legolas fails to save her.
-Bard will continue to look disturbingly like Will Turner.
-Bilbo will not get knocked unconscious for most of the B5A, but will run around killing things.
-Azog will duel Thorin; they'll probably kill each other.
-Bolg will continue to be a non-entity. He'll probably be killed by Legolas/Tauriel/Kili.
-Physics will yet again be defied for 'comedic' purposes.
-That Moth.
-Gollum will make an appearance.
-Galadriel will either put on her 'all shall love me and despair' face, or not participate at all in the fighting at Dol Guldur. No middle ground.
-To lead in to this game, we will see Sauron fleeing/retreating to a timeline-shatteringly green-and-pleasant Mordor.
-We will end where we started: with Bilbo and Frodo, around the beginning of Fellowship.
And things I would love to see, but doubt we will:
-Galadriel wielding a sword. Seriously, give me this.
-The Necromancer trying his Annatar face on.
-'The Eagles are coming!' as a genuinely fantastic moment.
-Radagast taking up the role of the lesser Power he is.
-Saruman being a ridiculously powerful wizard.
--In fact, I want to see the entire White Council in their full might - three Ainur uncloaked, the most valiant lady of the Noldor, the Herald of Gil-Galad... and is it too much to expect cameos from Celeborn the Wise and Cirdan the Shipwright? (Ans: probably)
--Seriously, how cool would it be to see a publicity shot of the three Istari surrounded by auras of power, flanked by the four highest and noblest elves in Middle earth in full battle away? Please, PJ, give me that!
Ahem. Think I got a little carried away, there. So, c'm on, I can't be the only one waiting for this...
hS
"-The B5A will take place simultaneously with the assault on Dol Guldur.
--This may require Gandalf to teleport."
I started both laughing and shaking my head here. PJ's recurring problem with the Hobbit is that he has no sense of scale whatsoever.
"-The majority of the film will be the Battle of the Five Armies itself."
I dunno, PJ loves wandering in caves and there will still be Smaug's assault on Lake Town for the first eh, twenty minutes. We need to get Bard and co. up to the lonely mountain, but PJ thinks that's a day's hike, so it won't take any screentime. I guarantee no wandering around with the Arkenstone, but maybe Thorin being a jerk about it because the Arkenstone is apparently as addictive and irrationality-making to his line as a Silmaril is to a Feanorian.
"-Some of the dwarves who are supposed to live will die.
-Another solid prediction: Tauriel will die, probably at Kili's side, probably while Legolas fails to save her."
Not before there's another showdown with Thorin and Azog, though. That will happen first.
"-Bard will continue to look disturbingly like Will Turner."
I'd managed not to see that yet. Now I can't unsee it.
"-Bilbo will not get knocked unconscious for most of the B5A, but will run around killing things."
Pretty much guaranteed. He may still be knocked out though... at like the end of the battle or something.
Things I would love to see: Galadriel with a sword would be awesome, but they probably won't have her show up if Tauriel's there. While I would love for them to even battle near each other, I'm pretty sure these movies can't pass the Bedschel test unless there's a child involved. (I do love Bard's kids, though.) She'd be at Dol Gildur, probably.
Any action or even group sequence in which I can pick out more than 6 of 13 dwarves and remember which name goes to which face. (Bombur, Thorin, Fili, Kili, Dwalin and Balin are the only ones whose faces I can identify right away: I need a lineup for the other seven, which isn't good when we're two movies in already. I did better with the random extracanonical Rhorrim in the last trilogy.)
I agree with you on Sauruman: he needs to be shown earning his keep on the white council. He also needs to stop hitting us over the head with unnecessary "foreshadowing" that he's Omg!evil! because 1) WE ALREADY KNOW 2)Galadriel and Gandalf are not that dense, even if they're busy playing with their random telepathy, 3) PJ does remember that 60 years pass between this and Fellowship, right?
3) PJ does remember that 60 years pass between this and Fellowship, right?
I really, really doubt it.
This will happen. http://nebezial.deviantart.com/art/hobbit-3-the-legolas-chronicles-first-look-419956676
(And I know that comic has been posted in every corner of the internet, but I'm reposting in case someone has been stuck in the past for eight months and haven't seen it.)
I agree that we will get more Legolas, Tauriel and Kili. My money are also on Tauriel dying.
And we'll get more foreshadowing. Or should that be 'FORESHADOWING duhnduhnduuuuh!'?
I'm hoping we'll get one more over-the-top scene that will spawn an expression to go with 'Radagast on a bunny sled' and 'Thranduil on a moose (Elk? Megaloceros?)'. Because I like hat tricks.
Here's one for you: "Bombur in a bouncing barrel!" Could be shortened to just "Bombur's bouncing barrel!" if you like.
I can't believe I didn't think of this until now. I'll make it my task to find one for the third film, too. Then my fans can attempt to use the complete set in their missions to win my favor. ^_~
(Apparently I have been living under a rock, because I hadn't seen that comic before. Nice! {X D Thanks for sharing.)
~Neshomeh
Apparently it will be 'Dain Ironfoot on a warpig!' http://www.theonering.net/torwp/2014/06/22/90301-hobbit-3-fact-sheet-what-do-we-actually-know-about-the-hobbit-the-battle-of-the-five-armies/#dainpig
*sniff* I'm so happy!
-Some of the dwarves who are supposed to die will live.
I've been expecting this one. Dreading this one. How in the world are Fili and Kili going to get to where they need to be to die when they are stuck in Lake Town with one of them is still injured and sick?
Also how terrible is that even with the different looks in the movies, I still see them as a unit and can't keep their names straight? They don't use names nearly often enough in the movies.
-Another solid prediction: Tauriel will die, probably at Kili's side, probably while Legolas fails to save her.
Okay, it is Kili that is injured. My expansion on this is that there is no way Legolas is done being a show stealer. We're definitely going to get WAY too much of him hogging screen time. If Kili does die in the movie (still not convinced that they won't survive the battle), then this is exactly what happens around his death.
-Bard will continue to look disturbingly like Will Turner.
Hahahahahaha! This is SO true!
-Bilbo will not get knocked unconscious for most of the B5A, but will run around killing things.
This one is a little disappointing, but probably exactly what will happen.
-Azog will duel Thorin; they'll probably kill each other.
I don't see how anything else could happen given the set up they've got going. Unless maybe Bilbo kills Azog (assuming he's done with the dragon), after Azog mortally wounds Thorin. Which will be followed by a touching scene of Thorin telling Bilbo that he's really a worthy hero, and Thorin is sorry for doubting him.
"How in the world are Fili and Kili going to get to where they need to be to die when they are stuck in Lake Town with one of them is still injured and sick?"
1) Smaug sets Lake Town on Fire.
2) Everyone who escapes from there heads up for the mountain because shelter + possibly not a dragon at home. (What they intend to do about food is anyone's guess.)
3) They're on site for the battle.
The trolls and the goblins all remind me of Vogons.