Subject: And this because . . .
Author:
Posted on: 2014-06-24 13:00:00 UTC
. . . Britain has no idea how to make proper crispy bacon. I've just about adjusted to bacon that's actually thick fried ham, but there was definitely a mourning process. ;)
Here's a link to a Walking Dead badfic that I found. It features a Sue with an exotic Sword of Sueness and two companion wolves who romances Daryl.
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9389565/1/The-Walking-Dead-Reprisal
I call dibs on it, so I'm adding it to the Claimed Badfic List.
The Mighty Stars is NSFW (I'd recommend that one as amazingly well-done smutfic) but I think the sequel is okay.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10139213/1/The-Shadows-of-Twilight
For a brief period, Azog and Lord Elrond came together, loved one another, and learned to see each other in a different light. But the hatred between elves and orcs could not be conquered - so Azog left. Months later, Elrond has decided to seek him out. If the elves will not accept Azog, perhaps the orcs will accept him. Sequel to "Of the Mighty Stars". Azog/Elrond
Are you recommending good Elrond slash or reporting a badfic?
For smut, it is really well-done. And unless I'm guessing wrong, this guy knows the canon as well as some of the Tolkien fans here.
Here are things where I don't know if they are canon or not.
It says that Elves have "light" and Elrond is surprised when he finds orcs that have it. He does some sort of telepathy involving the inner light.
It is acknowledged that Elrond is married and has children. It looks like he does the fade out of pining for Arog when his wife has been gone for longer. And apparently guy/guy is a culturally acknowledged thing for both of them.
Elrond has a ring and gives it to someone else when he leaves Rivendell. There are female orcs, but having a baby was treated as a weird thing.
Because I found an Ice Age/Hunger Games crossover that is quite bad:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8307971/1/Quarter-Quell
Oh, and as if that wasn't enough? It has six sequels. Six of them. And if you thought the first fic was bad enough...
*whimper*
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8462483/1/The-Cavern-s-Secret
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8475847/1/Prisoner-of-the-Stone
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8488469/1/The-Blue-Bolt
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8512763/1/Mark-of-the-Wolves
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8542578/1/Serpent-s-Fang
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8557106/1/The-End
I'm probably going to put this on the unclaimed list soon enough. I'd do a PPC mission of this myself, but I'm already in the process of snarking the whole series for the Library and I generally don't like to snark things twice, so I leave it to you guys.
I think there are some sequels I haven't seen. No way I'm sporking seven fics, anyway. >.
~Neshomeh, who does not even get it.
That said, though, there is far, far too much stupid contained within these fics for an average PPC mission. Frankly, I think the MST treatment might be best for these, though seeing a mission would be pretty sweet if one can make it work...
...but it's not. It's too sincere to be trollfic.
*grabs head, shaking it*
How do I find these things!?
I think it is one of a short series about the Rouges. They appear to be a world-hopping duo. Beware of homophone problems, not really homophone problems, capitalization neglect, but they seem okay on punctuation by comparison.
"I need my mead’s!" because he was hyperventilating.
Half Life 2, Wall-E, Portal 3 crossover Half Life 3, and I linked the Portal fic.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7551882/1/Rouge-Guardians-portal
Author quote:
OK so I have no idea what I’m doing but… I’m doing it! And you can’t stop me!
Its for teens for language. lots of it! well… not THAT much
Also I fail at grammar and spelling so tell me if I missed spelling and stuff… and the only thing I own is Cyra and Cody.
There's no such game as far as I'm aware, and I'm quite a fan of the Portal series. Also, no such thing as Half-Life 3 yet...
Is that a charge for creating games in a series? is it ignored? does it create some weird time-space paradox when the games are finally released (if they even are)? Are they weird Mini's of the games themselves (the ones that exist)?
Just wondering you know, because I'm not sure if anything like this has ever happened before...
When I see something marked as based off a non-existent sequel, I assume it means "occurring after the media ends"
I've read a lot of fanfictions marked with sequels that didn't exist at the time. I just note that it's a predictive fic and don't let my current knowledge get in the way.
I think I've seen a rule that if a fanfiction was written, and then more canon material is released that contradicts it, it's not considered a charge.
I don't have a login yet, could someone add this to the unclaimed badfic list under Harry Potter?
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3145509 Eggs-in-My-Lap
A little mature, a little squick, but I don't think it's properly NSFW.
It's not really too horrible, more corny in a don't "write while taking cold medicine" way. I didn't read enough to see SPaG problems.
England would have Canadian Bacon, right?
I don't know much about owls, but I don't think even a magical owl would have mammal pregnancy symptoms? Do they get too heavy to fly and have the eggs all at once?
I think there might be some liberties with the Potterverse as well. Can the flue network be used like a telephone to call the Ministry and get transferred around by secretaries?
I think whoever wrote this should not be left alone with an owl ever. In chapter 3 the author has Harry read some stuff out about Owl's eggs that I've personally never heard before, and after a quick check on the internet, the internet hasn't heard of before as well. And added to the fact that I don't believe that Snowy Owls mate with anything besides Snowy Owls, and for that matter I don't think Great Grey Owls and Barn Owls mate either.
Like Iximaz said, owls are birds not mammals, so no and certainly not, if they did that in the wild they'd probably die from lack of food. They lay their eggs (normally between 32 and 11) every other day over a period of several days so definitely not all at once.
I err stopped reading soon after Chapter 3, so I kinda hope it doesn't get worse from there.
Storme Hawk
Owls are the only species of bird - or at least one of the only documented bird species - that mate more than strictly necessary for procreation. They mate for the fertilization, and then... er, well, keep going over a period of days. The ornithology book that explained this added, I assume for purposes of dry humor, that it was unknown why they waste energy in such a manner, since the act of copulation takes quite a bit.
*cough*
And, uh, now you know.
First of all, in regards to the owls, they are birds, not mammals, so definitely no mammalian pregnancy symptoms. ...and I don't think I want to know why that would be an issue.
England can have any kind of food it wants, can't it? hS?
As for the Floo powder- NOT flue powder- people can stick their heads in a fireplace and do what's kind of the wizard equivalence of a Skype call, if that's what you're talking about, but there has never been any indication of 'calls' being transferred. I am relatively certain that it doesn't work like that, though.
I could run through the fic for you if you want- make a list of all the canon violations, you know? (I only say this because I'd prefer not to go near it with a ten-foot pole unless it was necessary.)
Well, technically 'Canadian bacon' exists in Britain (isn't Hogwarts in Scotland?), but... not under that name! :D Wikipedia suggests it's either back bacon - ie, bacon rashers, or normally just, uh, bacon - or smoked ham - which would probably just be ham. The breakfast setting suggests the former.
No, a Briton would never talk of eating 'Canadian bacon'; it's just bacon. ^-~
hS
. . . Britain has no idea how to make proper crispy bacon. I've just about adjusted to bacon that's actually thick fried ham, but there was definitely a mourning process. ;)
We have seen
Snape call Lupin office to office at Hogwarts,
Perkins call Arthur Weasley at home,
Sirius secretly calling Harry and
Harry secretly calling Sirius.
That’s all I remember from the top of my head. There has been no indication of 'calls' being transferred, because in all these cases it was not necessary or even had to be avoided to keep the secret. So, if it is possible to transfer 'calls', we wouldn’t know. I didn’t look into the 'fic to see whether it is done convincingly for a plausible reason, but considering how bureaucracy works, it wouldn’t be too far a stretch to assume that it does work like that in certain places like the Ministry. And if it’s sufficiently funny, it doesn’t even need to be reasonable; it certainly doesn’t contradict canon.
HG
I know nothing about The Walking Dead, but I'm pretty sure magic swords and wolves do not feature. (Unless the fic is an AU and she forgot to tell us.)
Also, since the badfic thread I attempted to make has been buried (oops), here are a couple I found in the Pit:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10412470/1/A-Deeper-Wound-Than-Love
Classic Sue. Seriously, this could come from any 'verse at all and I'd have the same reaction.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9724969/1/Forgotten
Pretty good SPaG, but the narration is a mite confusing and my Sue-radar went off reading the summary.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/894267/1/
I call vanilla Crunch-coated Dibs on her. (Bad pun is bad.)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10467044/1/Warm-my-cold-heart
[nope intensifies]
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10377492/1/Aqua-Blue
Ai yah tien ah, the grammar errors. (Also, there's a Sue.)
Readers beware.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1757393/chapters/3756749
This calls for a massive DIC collaboration! Good luck!
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10145783/1/The-Plot
An entire chapter lacks any kind of line break.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3882548/1/Charlie-and-the-Chocolate-Factory-Pokemon-Style
Nice try, lady, but next time pick characters who actually fit the roles for a crossover like this.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10484628/1/Pokemon-Drew-and-May-Love-life
The gods of Grammar and Shipping are weeping. Bring plenty of Bleeproducts.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10484619/1/The-One
Her other stuff sounds worse. Terminate them all with extreme prejudice.
Oh man, that real-person fic. The idea sounds delicious, but it has the earmarks of no imagination. And she insulted David Bowie's wife, probably out of jealousy. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8191164/1/David-Bowie-and-Jareth-the-Goblin-King I say for that one, write to their publicist or whoever handles such affairs and see if she gets sued for libel. Maybe a note that says "Davie Bowie is very disappointed in you."
As for that DIC, there are a few continua that I don't want to learn, but I know a lot of them if you need help and moral support.
I'm getting a "story not found" for the next to last fic.
Guess it got deleted between postings. Oh, well, these things do happen. You still have some deserving victims to choose from if you so desire.