For smut, it is really well-done. And unless I'm guessing wrong, this guy knows the canon as well as some of the Tolkien fans here.

Here are things where I don't know if they are canon or not.

It says that Elves have "light" and Elrond is surprised when he finds orcs that have it. He does some sort of telepathy involving the inner light.

It is acknowledged that Elrond is married and has children. It looks like he does the fade out of pining for Arog when his wife has been gone for longer. And apparently guy/guy is a culturally acknowledged thing for both of them.

Elrond has a ring and gives it to someone else when he leaves Rivendell. There are female orcs, but having a baby was treated as a weird thing.

That said, though, there is far, far too much stupid contained within these fics for an average PPC mission. Frankly, I think the MST treatment might be best for these, though seeing a mission would be pretty sweet if one can make it work...

...but it's not. It's too sincere to be trollfic.

*grabs head, shaking it*

How do I find these things!?

Owls are the only species of bird - or at least one of the only documented bird species - that mate more than strictly necessary for procreation. They mate for the fertilization, and then... er, well, keep going over a period of days. The ornithology book that explained this added, I assume for purposes of dry humor, that it was unknown why they waste energy in such a manner, since the act of copulation takes quite a bit.

*cough*

And, uh, now you know.

Well, technically 'Canadian bacon' exists in Britain (isn't Hogwarts in Scotland?), but... not under that name! :D Wikipedia suggests it's either back bacon - ie, bacon rashers, or normally just, uh, bacon - or smoked ham - which would probably just be ham. The breakfast setting suggests the former.

No, a Briton would never talk of eating 'Canadian bacon'; it's just bacon. ^-~

hS

We have seen
Snape call Lupin office to office at Hogwarts,
Perkins call Arthur Weasley at home,
Sirius secretly calling Harry and
Harry secretly calling Sirius.
That’s all I remember from the top of my head. There has been no indication of 'calls' being transferred, because in all these cases it was not necessary or even had to be avoided to keep the secret. So, if it is possible to transfer 'calls', we wouldn’t know. I didn’t look into the 'fic to see whether it is done convincingly for a plausible reason, but considering how bureaucracy works, it wouldn’t be too far a stretch to assume that it does work like that in certain places like the Ministry. And if it’s sufficiently funny, it doesn’t even need to be reasonable; it certainly doesn’t contradict canon.

HG

Oh man, that real-person fic. The idea sounds delicious, but it has the earmarks of no imagination. And she insulted David Bowie's wife, probably out of jealousy. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8191164/1/David-Bowie-and-Jareth-the-Goblin-King I say for that one, write to their publicist or whoever handles such affairs and see if she gets sued for libel. Maybe a note that says "Davie Bowie is very disappointed in you."


As for that DIC, there are a few continua that I don't want to learn, but I know a lot of them if you need help and moral support.

Guess it got deleted between postings. Oh, well, these things do happen. You still have some deserving victims to choose from if you so desire.