It's got kind of a cute, cut and paste early film style. But Slag the terrible? It's not really recognizable as the Hobbit anymore. Also, "monster lizard" is really unnecessary when it is CLEARLY A DRAGON. It's not like dragons were copyrighted or anything... Why they needed to change any names when Gandalf is clearly mentioned is befuddling to me, though.

"Thorin Oakensheild" has a really great Dali-style moustache, though. :D

-Some of the art. The opening shots of the Shire and Mirkwood, especially, reminded me very strongly of Tolkien's style.

-Gandalf's tower. Not the fact that he had one, but the design of it. It was cool. It had runes on the inside walls.

-The narration as they stepped into Mirkwood. Something about 'a sea of trees, with no chance to come up for air'? It was very good visual imagery.

-The Unexpected Party. I know, I know - but as a summary of the book, if you ignore Mika, it's actually pretty good. And good or not, it was hilarious.

-The animation on the faceted Arkenstone. That was really cleverly handled!

-... no, that's it.

What's interesting is that I read about this some time ago, in this article. Some choice excerpts:

We were well into The Hobbit screenplay when The Lord of The Rings came out in paperback editions. Having assumed there was only The Hobbit to contend with, and following Snyder's wish, we had taken some liberties with the story that a few years later would be grounds for burning at the stake. For example, I had introduced a series of songs, changed some of the characters' names, played loosely with the plot, and even created a girl character, a Princess no less, to go along on the quest, and to eventually overcome Bilbo Baggins' bachelorhood! I could Hollywoodize as well as the next man...

[...]

Before the time of CGI, I had proposed an impressive visual effect, combining cel-animated figures over elaborate 3D model backgrounds. I know that Max Fleisher had once tried something like it, but I intended to take the idea to greater heights and atmosphere. I even attached a special name to the technique: "ImagiMation!" I was thinking big!

By the time we arrived in New York, however, Snyder had already blown the deal by asking 20th for too much money. Tolkien's name hadn't yet reached them either. I had a fat script, but no other film companies were then interested. It was crushing. Even today, when I flip through my screenplay, and can almost see the fabulous scenes I had imagined, I feel a heavy regret.

[...]

The Tolkien estate had now been offered a fabulous sum for the rights, and Snyder's rights would expire in one month. They were already rubbing their hands together. But Snyder played his ace: to fulfill just the letter of the contract -- to deliver a " full-color film" of The Hobbit by June 30th. All he had to do was to order me to destroy my own screenplay -- all my previous year's work -- hoke up a super-condensed scenario on the order of a movie preview (but still tell the entire basic story from beginning to end), and all within 12 minutes running time -- one 35mm reel of film. Cheap. I had to get the artwork done, record voice and music, shoot it, edit it, and get it to a New York projection room on or before June 30, 1966!

I should have told him to shove it, but I was basically his slave at the time...and it suddenly became a sort of insane challenge.

I knew my screen story line by heart, so I just had to put it through a mind-shredder, and write a sort of synopsis, with a few key lines of dialog scattered throughout.

[...]

The final blow came some years later, when an animated feature version of The Hobbit appeared, starring the timid voice of Orson Bean. That film to my mind in no way approached the magnificence I had originally envisioned. I had obtained the greatest Czech artist of the time, illustrator, painter, sculptor, and director of the most famous Czech puppet films of all time, Jirí Trnka, to be the designer of my projected version. Sadly, we never got beyond his model sketches.

On the one hand, I feel really bad for him (him?); working that hard on something only to be ordered to rip it to shreds must be horrendous; not to mention that the art shown in that article is gorgeous. But on the other hand... yeah, that's... rather worse than the Jackson changes. :D

(I agree that someone should feed a Sue to poor Slag, though. Poor dragon gets no love)

hS

Although someone needs to feed a Sue to "the monster lizard Slag the Terrible."

I also love how the narration is all, "This is a story from before mankind was mighty. Now here's a human settlement and here's three human characters."

I actually legitimately like the princess character. (Can't understand her name for the life of me.) "Okay, fine, you guys just sit here bickering, I'mma head back and take my friggin' kingdom back. If we're changing the story this much anyway, I'm throwing some feminism up in here."

So groans are, um. They had one parent a troll, and one parent and Ent? Aaaaaaaaah'm not even bothered by this. I think I've officially read too much fanfiction.

"Magically, the One Ring of Power had found its true bearer." Oh man, you guys, Bilbo was Sauron all along, totally had me fooled, never saw that coming, Professor Tolkien is such a master.

"Hey guys, I got your Arkenstone back. Know what we should do now? We totally need to weaponize this priceless treasure and symbolic family heirloom/national heritage and throw it right back at the monster I just stole it from. Then we just need to fish around inside dragon guts for a week or so while the corpse slowly begins to rot around us, and we'll have your Arkenstone back. Sound like a plan?"

I've only watched the intro so far, but wow. Wow.

...

Gandalf has a tower? Is he a Belgariad-verse sorcerer now? Also, he can't see the future. That's Mandos's job, and he's not sharing.

They even messed up the opening line!

...okay, their interpretation of the lot of them barging into Bilbo's hole was pretty funny, I'll admit. But what is that random OFC doing there, anyways?

No. He's not a dragon-killer. He's hired to be a burglar, by Elbereth!

Also, that map is so wrong I can't even put it into words.

Well, at least Gandalf still knows how to manipulate a conversation. Also the Shire is preeeeeety.

How is Gandalf "watching them from a distance"? Does he have a palantir all of a sudden?

Wait. Are they calling Trolls "Groans"?

And NO. They don't slowly turn into trees. They instantly turn into stone.

....aaaaaaannd apparently the whole traveling party (which, by the way, apparently only consists of four people) are complete and utter idiots. Lovely. Well, apparently Bilbo isn't, but that's only because he's stealing Gandalf's plan. *grumble*

Oh, hello, Misty Mountains. We skipped Imladris, apparently.

Look, if the audience can hear the scream, then it isn't soundless, no matter what the narration says.

And Goblins are now Grablins. And Gollum is... Goo-loom?

No, Gollum isn't trying to hide the Ring. Also, since when is Middle-earth an isle, anyways? ...oh, they're talking about Gollum's little lake-thing. Nevermind. But either way, Bilbo definitely didn't fall onto said island. He wouldn't have survived, for one.

"Bilbo did have the Ring. Magically, the One Ring of Power had found its true bearer, and it was Bilbo Baggins the Hobbit." I... I cannot fully comprehend the unfathomable stupidity of that statement.

Oh, we're skipping Beorn, then, I guess. Because, you know, he totally doesn't play a vital part in the Battle of the Five Armies. Also, where's Gandalf at?

Okay, is this a sort of flash-forward/POV-switch thingie, or are we literally skipping the entirety of both the Thranduil and Laketown plots?

Yep. The lot of them somehow teleported from Mirkwood to the inside of the Lonely Mountain. *sigh*

Right. Since when does Bilbo steal the Arkenstone from under Smaug's nose? He steals a blasted cup, not the Arkenstone itself!

A crossbow. With the Arkenstone (which is, by the way, apparently now shaped like a heart) for the tip of the crossbow bolt. And they shoot Smaug (or rather Slag, for some unexplained reason) with it, and he doesn't put up a fight. I. Cannot. Even.

Well, apparently the Battle of the Five Armies never happened. *is annoyed*

No. No. No. You do not put a random OFC in, have her do absolutely nothing for the entire story, and then marry her off the Bilbo, who for some ridiculous reason spends the rest of his life in Dale. Absolutely not.

Oh, I'm sorry, they go back to Hobbiton together, eventually. Despite the logical prob--- you know what? I'm not going to start on the logical problems. I would still be typing in four hours.

But yes, please, this needs to be sporked.

-Aila

I don't get the movie makers' urge to change the names of everything. And who the hat is this... person? And why the hat doesn't that other person even have a name?

I was better than that at story telling when I was six.

Well, the art was pretty, or would have been if it wasn't so... ostenpretumtatious?

That's my take on it. I~I

(That face is still as stupid as the first time I used it.)

Right after the winged ahuizotl appeared I couldn't watch because eyesight.