Subject: Ha, ha, ha!
Author:
Posted on: 2014-05-06 21:59:00 UTC
Good ones!
No, it's okay. As long as it is funny, you may use references to any religion. I don't mind. (However, there is obviously a fine line in this case between funny and offensive.)
So, I was writing in my notes, trying to think of some good humor for my PPC missions that I could stash away and use later, and I began to drift off on a tangent. I began thinking of "Yo mama" jokes, but then it came to me. I need to have one or more of my agents give some epic Mary Sue insults.
Here is what I came up with so far.
1. "You're such a Mary Sue, you think 'conflict' is a type of cereal."
2. "You're such a Mary Sue, you bathe in the drool of canon characters."
3. "You're such a Mary Sue, you should grow a few more heads to hold all that impossible forbidden knowledge."
4. "You're such a Mary Sue, your mother says 'thank you' when you call her fat."
5. "You're such a Mary Sue, there are no words for it. You know why? Because they all went into describing your face and your anorexia."
Can anyone else think of any more?
You're such a Mary Sue that Rapunzel asks you for hair-care tips.
You're such a Mary Sue that Doctor Doolitle is jealous of all your cute animal friends.
You're such a Mary Sue that Imelda Marcos borrowed shoes from you.
You're such a Mary Sue that men are queuing up to be your Designated Misogynist Bastard.
You're such a Mary Sue that people are scuba diving in the deep limpid pools of your eyes.
Ha, ha, ha! I hope you're all having as much fun as I am. These are great!
You're such a Mary Sue, unicorns want you for Christmas.
You're such a Mary Sue, Wolverine and Batman think your past is too tortured.
You're such a Mary Sue, scientists have tried to replicate your smile to use as the first nonrenewable light source.
You're such a Mary Sue, Excalibur thought King Arthur was you.
You're such a Mary Sue, the poor, hungry, and sick worry about you.
Yeah, these get kind of convoluted as they go on.
"Your mother was a Mary Sue, and your father smelt of body spray!" (A classic. Use on OCs, with caution.)
"When the Bard said 'Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage/And pious action we do sugar o'er/The devil himself', he probably had you in mind." (Or 'one may smile and smile, and be a villain.')
"You're such a Mary Sue that Bella Swan hates your guts!" (Followed without fail by choruses of "Ohhhh!" or "Daaayum, son!")
"You're such a Mary Sue, Shelob could use you as bait!"
"You're such a Mary Sue the entire fashion industry went broke trying to replicate your outfit!"
"Hey, Glitter-brain, I got a message from Aphrodite for you. She says if you make one more canon character fall in love with you, she'll come down here and strangle you herself!"
"You're such a Mary Sue, you could feed an army of minis for a month!"
Ha, ha, ha! These are good. Nice imagination.
"You're such a Mary Sue, even Voldemort fell in love with you!" (Because Rowling said he is literally incapable of love, if anyone needs a reference.)
"You're such a Mary Sue, artists had to invent another color wheel just for you!" (And then another... and then another...)
"You're such a Mary Sue, your breasts could be used as a floatation device!"
"You're such a Mary Sue, we could use you at a disco!"
"Yr sch mry s ll th vwls rn wy frm y." (You're such a Mary Sue all the vowels ran away from you. Yeah, I know it's not the best.)
"You're such a Mary Sue, Noah used you to get all the animals aboard!"
Meh, I was kind of stretching for the last few.
Good ones!
No, it's okay. As long as it is funny, you may use references to any religion. I don't mind. (However, there is obviously a fine line in this case between funny and offensive.)