Subject: My own story to be sporked
Author:
Posted on: 2014-05-05 21:45:00 UTC
Hello agents of the PPC! I bring you a sacrifice of my own creation. I wrote this a long time ago (when I was the ripe age of 13) and full of hormones about Legolas' pretty actor. Now that I'm older and wiser I've decided it would be quite a bit of fun if you would spork my story for my own amusement. Thanks so much. -MC
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7502744/1/Spirits-Never-Die
Well, you came to the right place with that little tale.
In similar vein, I'd like PPCers more experienced than myself to take on an old shame of my own. The story is unfinished and concerns an MLP-verse that, well... didn't live up to my expectations for it. It can be found here:-
The L Words, by me, to my eternal shame and discredit.
I call it an old shame, but it's not even that old. I just wound up dropping the ball like it was a red-hot meteor the size of a watermelon and I was a feeble orphan kiddie with galloping rickets. Spork at will, chums, spork at bloody will. =]
I got to the mushrooms before making some snap judgements. I'm not a sporker yet, so this is what I offer besides seeing that you needed a grammar beta.
It does look like a ... I need a larger vocabulary.
One is probably native insert... random intrusive OC...
The other thing I can think of is Mary-Sue without the annoying, gravity, romance, whatever qualifiers... Basically the best is that you don't mind that she's there even though she is messing with the original work.
Granted, I haven't gotten far enough to see what exact category she fits in, how tolerable she is, so she might be too disruptive even for fun.
I appreciate that, thanks for giving my little abomination a look. This is almost a ten year old story of mine that I posted out of (a misguided) hope of revising it into something suitable. I've long since given up on it and want to see it die a fitting (preferably funny) death. Its amazing what reading the Silmarillion can do to a persons perception on their fanfics.
I'll save you the trouble and describe my Sue (from what I remember, its been a while). Shes a tenth-walker, throws the cannon's (particularly Galadriel and Boromir) FAR out of character, has a terrible past, unusual appearance, falls in love with Legolas, created by Sauron (somehow), a made up race, and I can go on.
But the point is, spork away! Just be sure to send me the link. :)
I honestly did not catch that she was completely made-up, just that she didn't belong with the hobbits. You certainly sold her back-story well enough to impress a movie-brat.
The rest of this post is irrelevant but I am leaving it in.
I read Chronicles of Narnia when I was young, but I cannot tolerate the Inklings' for-children style now so I had trouble trying to read The Hobbit.
As for not reading LotR, I tried, and I can only make excuses about needing to own a large-print edition.
I did get halfway through one JRR story. There was a star baked into a cake, and a boy swallowed it without finding it. Then he later belched it up and it sat on his forehead invisibly.
Don't be so hard on yourself. There are some good ideas buried in the mix.
I love the way the story keeps twisting between books and movieverse near the start, and even has both Arwen and Glorfindel turning up for the Flight to the Ford. It's like the universe is trying all different combinations of itself to see where your Sue fits in. (Then when she finally reveals her origins, the universe just stops caring and reverts to pure movieverse.)
Reading a bit more, as far as Lothlorien, there's a a lot of fun metatextual stuff going on in the background of the story.
Your inner writer wants to create a fully-rounded, complex, three-dimensional character while Neveil just wants to be a Sue inserting herself into the movie for the sake of it. This is a sort-of reversed mirror-image of what happens in-universe, with Sauron creating what was supposed to be a one-dimensional projection of his will, a mockery of a real person, only for someone (presumably Eru?) granting her a soul and giving her the freedom to develop as a character.
This first comes to a head on Caradhras during that flashback to the Rivendell stables. It's a nice, non-movie scene to showcase the more complex non-Sueish aspects of the Neviel's character. And she responds by breaking the fourth wall and attacking you for including a non-Sue scene.
However, you're not going to let a Sue win that easily. You turn your attention to Boromir. While Neveil has been mechanically going through the motions of lusting after Legolas because that's what Sue's are supposed to do, your inner writer seems to have a genuine soft spot for Boromir.
Up to now, this affection has shown itself by trying to hide the Sue's Designated Misogynist Bastard!Boromir behind large yellow Post-It notes saying, "AN: Not a misogynist but a tragic hero, honest!" But now you get the radical idea of actually writing him like a tragic hero instead of a misogynist. By the time the Fellowship arrives at the gates of Moria, Boromir is getting back to something like his in-character canon self.
How does the Sue respond to his developing and reacting in ways she hadn't expected? She literally punches him in the face!
So, I'm actually enjoying this story, but for all the wrong reasons. It's trying so hard to redeem the Sue, and she's trying so hard to resist it. I want to keep on reading and see which one wins.
I personal do have a huge soft spot for Boromir, I would even go as far to say he is my lust-object. The way I portrayed him all that time ago is part of the reason I'm embarrassed of this tale. I went into this story with an idea of doing Boromir justice as a character but I guess it got tainted by all the suefics I had been reading at the time. Very astute of you to pick up on that.
I think that if Neveil were not a tenth-walker, I wrote her today, and she had a better integrated back-story, she could be a pretty decent character.
....and my authors notes.....don't judge me to harshly, I was just a hormonal teenager. If there is anything in there that I REALLY hate, its my authors notes. They reek of an immature teen writer.
On a final note, I'm glad you are getting some enjoyment out of this, and your positive points certainly made me smile. :)
I don't think we've ever had a mission where that happened before. I mean, the canon lends a hand from time to time, but to have the sue-thor herself help? Intriguing.
That's just my own interpretation, based on the Author's Notes, especially for the "bonus" flashback chapter. But you could have other different ideas of your own.
You can see it in action in this mission from Derik and Earwig.
-Phobos
But I have a hunch as to what mission it is. Spidey3000?
It is now on the List of Unclaimed Badfic. So get sporking, its officially up for grabs. :)