The initial grasp was decent, it worsened. by
Sergio Turbo
on 2014-04-12 09:28:00 UTC
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Not perfect, though - Homura doesn't want Madoka to reciprocate her love - she just wants her safe.
And Madoka loving everyone exactly equal is bad too, 'cause even our friend-to-all-living-things ex-Goddess doesn't work that way. I mean, what was the naked space hugs scene all about? Madoka recognizing Homura as a very special, very close friend. You can't claim that Madoka loves her as much as she loves the perfect stranger at the other side of the world afterwards.
So basically one of the main conflicts of this story, while an interesting one, actually doesn't exist in canon and in fact looks like it was just an excuse to break the HomuMado pairing.
The SI character looked interesting in the beginning, he had his "bad" sides but they were treated as such by the other characters so it was fine. Until Chapter 3 it still was a pleasant read.
Then he transformed in his dragon form in chapter 4, and things went downhill from there. In chapter 5 I was like "wtf is happening now I liked the story how it was in the beginning". In chapter six I was facepalming (in fact, I skipped the sex scene completely because, well, only knowing that it was happening was enough to disgust me).
I left a still fairly positive review in the hope that it would make the author more likely to take up my offer for concrit - on a technical level his writing looked pretty good to me, it's such a shame that it is used for this kind of fics.