Subject: Nananananananana Bat-Hobbit!
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Posted on: 2014-03-26 14:21:00 UTC

Wait a minute... is this why we never saw Frodo's parents? They were killed on their way back from watching a play, with only their young son there to witness their demises, too young to help them?
No, that would probably involve hobbit criminals, and judging by the odd moral standards of Tolkien's world, we could never have an evil hobbit or elf. Only orcs are bad guys, and occasionally humans and dwarves when they're corrupted by evil! Maybe we could have some unpleasant hobbits, but they would never think to rob or harm one another! Because you can construct a society that behaves like that!

...Or perhaps that's what the criminals want you to think. The idyllic perfection of their societies would be a perfect cover for the more covert and organized acts of illegality, because while it would be too obvious, too beside the norm to rob the Second Rivendell National Bank, no one would think to look too deep into the perfection of their little cities, peel back the skin to see the rot beneath, and the mess of criminal intellects driving that rot toward nefarious purpose.

Yes, I am suggesting that Bat-Hobbit would fight a dystopian elf mafia. It was too out-there of an idea to not mention when I thought of it. Can you even imagine what the elf Kingpin of Crime would look like? Yes, I know he's a Spider-Man/Daredevil villain, but I don't think Batman has a mob boss enemy, unless you count Tim Burton's versions of Joker and Penguin.

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