How about Snow White and The Huntsman? by
Halcyon
on 2014-03-20 02:16:00 UTC
Reply
I'm not always the best judge of what makes a sueific adaptation but considering how Kristen Stewart's Snow White had NO CHARISMA WHATSOEVER and still managed to win almost everyone she needed to win over to her side.
Seriously I tried to like this movie. The CG was awesome and I kinda liked the portrayal of the evil queen but...Snow White herself has no discernible character, psychological and/or emotional motivation behind her actions. The whole "She represents life and she's part of some sort of prophecy to overthrow the evil queen and save the kingdom" felt really underwhelming and droll because she's such a one-dimensional character.
This isn't even taking into consideration the fact that the best asset Snow White is supposed to have is her physical beauty. That's her greatest weapon against the queen and the driving force behind this whole "prophecy" shtick from the get-go.
My Sue alarms were ringing big time during this film.
Van Helsing by
Al's Waiter
on 2014-03-13 06:52:00 UTC
Reply
The Hugh Jackman movie.
Let us count the ways:
The year is 1887: she's wearing pants and a corset on the outside of her clothing. Check!
Brother gets turned into a werewolf? Check.
Last surviving family member? Check.
Van Helsing AND Dracula both want her? Check.
Dracula is not vulnerable to traditional methods? Check.
Sue takes a licking and keeps on ticking? (Thrown around and beat up by multiple vampire chicks and isn't the slightest bit phased by it) Check!
Saves Van Helsing yet dies in the process? (By being thrown against the first soft thing ever in the movie) Check!
Single tear scene as she ascends into Heaven? Check.
This movie was so bad. I was very much looking foreword to it before it came out, and then cried when I left the theatre. So disappointed.
Turned into a good msting movie though.
~AW~
Probably not exactly a Suefic, but.... by
Sergio Turbo
on 2014-03-11 10:40:00 UTC
Reply
Madoka Magica The Movie Rebellion. Just... no.
Those who follow my mission blog or IrregularS already know how I feel about that thing. (Desdendelle and Firemagic in particular - sorry for my extremely long rants on Skype)
Why is that movie so bad? Well, let's start with the minor offences. For example, the fan pandering. They tried to cram in everything that was popular with he fandom - and did it wrong in 90% of the cases. For example, the character of Nagisa... who got a total of five minutes of screentime and basically did nothing relevant to the plot. Or the Mami fanservice - we know she's popular because she's busty, no need to put her in a towel in a rather pointless scene just to show her assets some more (Oh, and she's 15, by the way)
Then, the inconsistencies with the original series. A good chunk of the plot could happen only if you retconned several rules of the continuum, so I assume they did.
For example, the Incubators trying to interfere with Madoka's Wish - it can't happen because doing that would prevent the Wish itself from being "granted" and so invalidate the Contract.
Then, the character derailment. OK, some characters had an excuse for being OOC (having altered memories can do that to you), but you know stuff is bad when the screenwriter says that the OOCness is "character growth" when you barely find an ounce of it in the whole movie.
Then... that ending. Just that ending. Aside from how it could have happened (it COULDN'T and don't try to prove me wrong. It won't end well.), it's the cheapest of all the "reopen the door after you just closed it" endings.
Not to mention that it managed to shed a ton of negative light on my favourite character needlessly (as it was basically they only way the managed to come up with to keep a finished story going).
The fun thing is, though, that the movie somewhat touches a lot of the themes I was going to touch in Blank Sprite too, and that despite the fact that I came up with its plot way before the trailers for the movie came out...
Hopefully I'll do better.
Unpopular opinions time! by
wobblestheclown
on 2014-03-10 12:04:00 UTC
Reply
Princess Bride.
The lead character is the Gariest of Gary Stus.
It's really not that funny.
I am going to Nerd Hell for this, aren't I...
I don't know that it's a Suefic, but... by
DawnFire
on 2014-03-09 16:44:00 UTC
Reply
...watching Pirates of the Caribbean 4 (On Stranger Tides) left me feeling like I was watching a rather boring fanfic. Seriously, it had everything: Captain Jack Sparrow, 'references' (ie, rehashes) of scenes from the earlier movies, notably the first and second ones, a rather weak plot, and--well, let's just say that I gave up watching about halfway through, and haven't continued it since. It was ridiculous, and, like you (Lily) with Endless Love, I'm glad I didn't pay any money for it. (Funnily enough, when it first came out, I didn't really want to see it...even though I like PotC.)
I'm told it got a bit better in the second half, but that our dear Captain didn't seem to really need to be there. As fun as it was to see him running around again, I found it very disappointing that he was basically just rehashing his scenes from previous movies...and so I think I agree.
This is the movie that made me understand what a PPC agent must feel like in a mission. That's not a good thing.*
And, of course, out of all the possible results of this movie...I had to find the Suefic where the author confused the mermaids--who I never saw onscreen--with Sirens. And made the Sue Syrena's daughter...by which I mean, Syrena's daughter with Poseidon, beloved of all the Greek gods. Sorry, did I forget to mention it's a crossover? It's a crossover. Of course, this isn't the thread to rant about actual Suefics in, so I'll stop, but I thought it bore bringing up.
~DF
--
*There's also a wonderful little video of legolas by laura that made me feel like PPC agents were hiding just out of sight in it, but that's a different story, and that was awesome. This? Not so much.
Percy Jackson. by
World-Jumper
on 2014-03-09 09:06:00 UTC
Reply
Just... Just Percy Jackson. I'm too tired to rage right now, so I'll let somebody else do it for me. I'll just say, when you turn the Cursed Blade from a symbol of hope and love and loyalty and all that jazz into a magic Titan-killing sword of +1 bullcrap, you know you have a problem.
Suefics turned into movies, eh? by
SeaTurtle
on 2014-03-09 08:45:00 UTC
Reply
Excuse me while I channel my rage through the ancient art of greentexting.
>Be me, circa 2009
>Decide to check out the Eragon movie
>"It can't be that bad! The books are already terrible. How can they mess it up even further?"
>Get my hands on a copy of the movie
>Don't even bother to check the ratings online
>A terrible move, in hindsight
>The movie starts
>None of the characters match their in-book descriptions
>The motives and backgrounds of certain characters are completely changed
>A dragon grows to full size in ten seconds flat with 20% less cool
>All of my what
>"Did the movie writers even read the book?" I say
>nope.avi
>Some characters don't appear at all
>Severe spatial compressions as entire important locales are ignored in favour of "plot"
>The King wants Eragon and his dragon dead in the movie, as opposed to alive in the books (in order to use Eragon's female dragon as a means of resuscitating the virtually-extinct dragon race)
>The King's face is shown
>ENTIRE KEY PLOT EVENTS RETCONNED EVERY FIVE MINUTES
>Arya the elf princess is an obvious expy of Arwen
>She's essentially a Warrior!Diplomat!Sue
>Oh good, the writers didn't change her character at all
>Tronjheim, the dwarfen city-in-a-hollowed-mountain, is not actually carved out of the stone, it's made of wood
>The writers broke everything that made this series somewhat palatable
>But I can't stop watching
>I'm too entrenched in this, I gotta see it to the end
>where doing it man
>WHERE MAKING THIS HAPEN
>Final battle ensues
>This doesn't look like the siege of Minas Tirith at all
>They got Durza wrong
>What is he flying on? Is he supposed to be a Ringwraith now?
>Eragon kills him without having his back opened like a can of tuna
>This, along with the rest of the screw-ups in the film, actually prevents the events of the second book from happening
>Film ends
>All of my rage
Final verdict:

The Fifth Element by
sjosten
on 2014-03-09 06:49:00 UTC
Reply
It's pretty cut and dry when you think about it. I mean, a "perfect" girl who causes a former spy to come out of retirement so he can protect her, only for her to realize the horror of war (despite the fact that logic would dictate she already learned about genocide, atomic bombs, and assassinations), so that the former spy's love for her can save the universe.