Subject: An update on the Dubious Lube front... (NSFWish)
Author:
Posted on: 2013-03-09 07:25:00 UTC
There's a tumblr blog dedicated to dubious lubage from fanfiction, and you can find it here: http://putwhatinyourbutt.tumblr.com/
That may be the most glorious blog title I have ever seen.
I am... unsurprised by this stuff. Thus dies my hope in my mind, when I go "yeah, yeah I could see that in a fic. Oh. That too. Ho-hum."
Mind your mini-you, there.
(A run on my AnonymousSC joke, if'n you were wondering.)
...so why am I laughing so hard?
Still, it is making me cringe really, really hard. And disgusted. And laugh so hard at the stupidity.
I'm laughing so hard at these poor fools who think that jam would ever be a good lubricant, I mean SERIOUSLY WOW.
Ink? Pond Scum?
Oh, dear... I'm afraid to know more, but at the same time I can't look away! Oh my God...
Well, there goes any creative spirit in my head that I was GOING to make use of, today.
Oh crap, the images...
No, seriously, ew. Just ew. Where's my Bleeptea when I need it.
Putting a lamp up their butt....
Ay caramba, Lily! Whyyyyyy.....
I'd seen blood used in some fanfics (not that this makes it less disgusting), but...maple syrup? Motor oil? HOT WAX???
*curls up into ball, whimpers, and waits for bad mental images to go away*
And I hadn't even gotten to the LAMP yet! *drinks Bleepolate milk* Aaahhh, much better! Thank you ever so much, KittyNoodles!
Anytime, friend. Just stay away from the LBs, you should be fine.
Sad thing is, I've read most of them already. It just bothers me that when these people write about HOT FRIGGIN' WAX as an acceptable lube substitute, we might end up with dumb kids using it in real life. What a way to win a Darwin Award! *shudders* Okay, I do admit C***b***n literally gave me nightmares. On the other hand, legolas just made me laugh. "how can people put baby in the woodsand to die" XD
Why would you do this to me, Lily. I need my brain. Why~
Or something.
I was going to be all creative, and now all I see is flower vases being shoved up-
Nevermind.
I was laughing and cringing at the same time. Seriously, a violin bow? With rosin on it?
...rosin makes the bow STICK to the strings. Isn't that the opposite of what you want in that situation? D:
What about when, you know... The guy pulls out of formation, as it were?
"GEEAAAAAAAAAaaaAAaAAAAAaaaaaaaAaaARGH!"
And now a potato. Who would write these things?
Definitely NSFB. And this really reminds me of "forks (plural)" from the list of things extracted from rectums in 2012.
And again. Ow.