Subject: Yeesh
Author:
Posted on: 2014-02-02 04:57:00 UTC
I have a terrible fic I wrote once, it's a Rise of the Guardians thing. Canon warping, OOC, terrible Mary Sues, angsty backstories, it's got it all. It's called Kali. Fics are always terrible when named after the Sue protagonist. For revenge, could someone please feed her to the Hindu goddess?
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8793796/1/Kali
C'mon, this is awful and I don't have permission yet. Does no one want to kill Kali?
...I've actually had a reply post written out for a day or two, but haven't yet had time yet to edit it and make sure it makes sense and so on. It basically amounts to the fact that, like Neshomeh, I prefer to claim badfics based on whether or not they push my agents' buttons and/or would make good stories. However...hold on, let me dig it up...ah, here we go. A direct quote:
I haven't gone past the first chapter, but it already looks...well, since you wrote it, I'll be polite and just say it looks like it's probably missionable, yes :)
So yeah. I'll try reading the rest of it, see how far I get, and if I spot a good story/many pushed buttons, I'll be happy to at least consider taking it on. The main thing, though, is that I've both claimed a number of badfics already, and am currently on the (rather idle) lookout for a crossover, a Doctor Who badfic, and something that has at least one scene in Valinor...not all in the same badfic, mind you, but that's what I'm checking for. (I don't suppose this one ended up as a crossover? Well, I guess I'll find out...)
On another note, though, someone without permission is allowed to co-write a mission with someone who does have permission. You may want to look into that :)
~DF
Kali Sue's got the personality of a moldy lemon. So does the JackRipoff! Sue.
People who don't have permission can co-write them? Tell me more.
Well, I read further...and it's just not making me all that angry, to be honest. The first chapter did--it seemed like pure theft of Jack's storyline--but afterwards...I mean, it's not all that good (apart from the SPaG, which is either perfectly fine or just lacking anything too glaring), but--I don't particularly want to set fire to it? I mean, it's filled with annoyances--Isolda Frost, for instance, certainly looks a lot like Jack Frost, and shares part of his name with no explanation to boot, and the unmarked POV shift I just saw was pretty jarring--but...it's not particularly filling me with rage. Not like some others I've seen. If you want to take it down so badly (and I assume you're made angrier by it than I am), I'm happy to potentially co-write with you; alternatively, you can find someone else--there are definitely other Rise of the Guardians fans around here--or just wait until you have permission. Your call.
And yeah, co-writing with one permission-less partner is a thing. See this section of the Permission FAQ article on the wiki for details.
~DF
PS: As an analysis--I've finished reading it, and, well, the good thing is that you've got some interesting concepts in there, and some cool story ideas (as well as generally good spelling and grammar, as I mentioned earlier). The main issues are the constant POV shifts, the cliches and imitations/ripoffs in some of the characters and backstories, and the fact that it's supposedly a movieverse fic but seems to be using what I assume are the book names. As well, it's missing a disclaimer, which FFN fics are supposed to have. Those are the main things I'm seeing; the rest are more minor nitpicks. In short, it's not the worst of the worst--but it's pretty far from the best of the best. I think I probably wouldn't take it on on my own, as I don't think there's much to make my agents angry or to use to make a good story for them, but if you've come up with agents who would be angry at it (or something along those lines), then I'm fairly sure an agent or two of mine would be able to grow a bit by being a sort of amused tag-along. At the very least, I'd be able to write them as semi-relaxed/slowly gaining tension for a change. But yeah--your call. And keep in mind that other people have seen Rise of the Guardians, and may see more mission potential for their agents in this than I do.
I actually do have a concept for an agent who is a massive Jack Frost fan, so she'd probably be rather violently angry about this. As for co-writing with you, that is certainly a possibility. As a middle-schooler, I've got nights mostly free; I don't know how old you are. Of course, if you don't want to, that's okay.
About the names, those aren't bookverse names for Tooth and Baby Tooth. Those are names I found on the Internet that I thought fit. I don't know, I was rather awful a year or so ago. I have absolutely no excuse for Isolda or the cliches.
What should be done about Primoris? It's an obvious Villain Stu, but unless you've got some seriously OP agents they probably couldn't kill it. Maybe that's just the Suethor talking, though.
What's weird is that when I look back, I think I had a much better idea in my head that I wasn't talented enough to write.
I just have very little interest in badfic posts in general, regardless of fandom. There are constantly new badfic posts being added to the pile, despite many admonishments to reply to a preexisting badfic thread rather than starting a new one, so there's this trend of bad writing being implicitly treated as more important than good, intelligent discussions. This annoys me. Also, most badfic is not that unique or interesting—that's part of what makes it bad, after all—so it takes more than a generic list of common failings to convince me it'll be worth my time to mock.
Please don't take this personally. I have these problems with almost every new badfic post, not just this one, and it's nothing to do with the fandom or the fact that it's your own fic. Since you wanted to know why people aren't biting, I felt like explaining my reasons.
~Neshomeh, jaded old-timer.
My problem with badfic posts in general is somewhat different: I have a hard time getting worked up about any badfic these days. I guess in part that's because we've had people deal with so much ludicrously over-the-top stuff - including, yes, me with Clbr__n and l-by-l - that there's not really a 'worse' to hit. "This time twice as many canons are brutalised!" Yeah, but that just means it's the same, but twice as long.
The thing I do occasionally still get worked up on is people messing up, not the characters, but the backstory. So when they blithely assume they can bring Luthien forward in time from her first death and nothing will change - yeah, that gets me. Oh, so does meddling with Finrod, but that's just me.
But even then, that's almost entirely in Middle-earth. Other canons, I don't really get angry about. It's a bit sad, really.
(Oh, and in this case, I don't even know the canon. But as a generic explanation...)
hS
(I'm lying. I don't actually own a walking stick. But I used to, and it did: a big greenish metallic marble.)
But yeah, there's that, too. Most things don't make me angry anymore, and if they do, I don't even necessarily want to deal with them, because being angry is no fun. I actually had a problem for the longest time where I was afraid to PPC in LotR, both for that reason and because I wasn't sure I could do it justice, not having done all the background reading like it seemed everyone else here had. ^_^;
Anyway, I tend to look for things that make me laugh at the ridiculousness. Most of "Ring Child" and "Blood Raining Night" fall into this category (except where they overstep right into disturbing and/or offensive). It's the specific word choices or faults in the logic that make funny mistakes happen, though, not the broad flaws. It's not just that Aragorn, Elrond, and Gandalf are OOC; it's that these wise and noble heroes are all cooing over some doe-eyed childthing and dandling it on their knees like little old ladies. It's not just that there are SPaG problems; it's that putting an h in the word "sitting" makes another real word that has the same function in the sentence, but an entirely different outcome. I require absurd mental images in my sporking material. (It may be telling that the only fic I claim scarred me for life was due to gross and persistent misuse of the word "as" rather than any content issues. It still hurts my brain.)
Also, anything I choose to spork has to make a good story for my characters. If it's not going to push their particular buttons, there's no point in writing about it, because it will be boring.
~Neshomeh
I was working on a response to this post, but it appears you and hS beat me to the punch. While the both of you have covered what I wanted to address for the most part, I still want to put my two cents forward.
I've never been one for getting angry about badfic. Even when I first started in the PPC, my interest lay more in being entertaining and keeping my writing sharp than addressing the worst of the worst. Like Nesh, I always looked for stories that had some aspect about them that I could make funny or dramatic or otherwise interesting for an audience. The few times I tried to write out of frustration regarding what happened in the story, the results were weak and unfulfilling.
Part of the problem with using anger as driving force behind a mission is that it sort of requires the audience to know enough about the canon itself to share your anger. If they don't know or care about what's been altered beyond 'Wow, that seemed really bad!', they're not going to be all that committed to what goes on. Focusing on entertainment allows you to find more universal concepts that people can latch on to as being funny or dramatic. People don't need to know the nitty-gritty of canon to recognize the fault in an inadvertent goblin orgy in the mines of Moria or a walking talking zombie-killing sandwich.
Think about Mystery Science Theater 3000 (if you have no idea what I'm talking about, there are episodes on Netflix and YouTube that you can watch). The worst movies didn't necessarily make the best episodes. Monster A Go Go, even with Joel and the bots, is something of a tired slog. Even Manos can be a bit of a chore. But The Final Sacrifice or Hobgoblins? They have big hooks perfect for mockery. (Obviously this is all very subjective, as humor tends to be.)
P.S.: I don't have a walking stick, but I do have a cane with a brass duck's head for a handle. There used to be a tiny flask hidden inside (accessed by unscrewing the handle) but alas, it broke.