Subject: Freelance (nm) (nm)
Author:
Posted on: 2014-01-30 23:50:00 UTC
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Requesting feedback on Agent idea by
on 2014-01-30 23:31:00 UTC
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I know I'm a bit new still, so I'm not asking permission yet. However, I would like feedback on the Agent I came up with.
Agent Name: Mikelus Tarnel
Home continuum: Dungeons and Dragons 4th edition
Age: 31 (equivalent to late teens)
Race: Half-elf/Dragonborn
Department: DMS
Class: Level 2 Sorcerer
Personality: Mikelus is rather sarcastic by nature, having inherited an elven superiority complex from his mother. He is honorable when possible, but has a pragmatic streak with him as well. He is always eager to tear into a foe, though he does have an understanding of the importance of a peaceful solution. He just tends to ignore it.
Backstory: Mikelus was born into a branch of his clan's leadership, though was somewhat of a pariah due to his elven nature. His past wasn't angsty, but it wasn't as nice as some of his cousins. The roleplay he came from was uploaded, and he fell through a plothole into the PPC soon after.
Skills: Mikelus has a preference for using his magic or melee combat in battle. He took a bit of time after falling into the PPC to become familiar with multiple canons, though they are varied massively. -
A few suggestions by
on 2014-02-01 20:55:00 UTC
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May I mention that, in the fourth edition Dungeons and Dragons Player's handbook, the race description for Dragonborn says they hatch from eggs? Unless the circumstances of his conception (*wince* Owww...) IS the pothole he fell into, you might want to think about how that worked.
What does Mikelus look like? Is he mostly elven with Dragonborn traits, mostly Dragonbornwith elvish traits, or about half and half? A mixed reptilian/mammalian character like that will definitely have an unusual physiology.
I know these don't relate to Mikelus in regards to his personality, but these do seem like some important things to take into consideration. ;) -
Mikelus's look by
on 2014-02-02 01:46:00 UTC
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He was born from an elf, and looks like one that has very faint scales on most of his body. They are more prominent in certain places, like his jaw, and are a light blue in color where noticeable.
He does have other traits from being Dragonborn, such as more clawed hands and more fang-like teeth. He is also developing wings and a tail, though those are not mature yet and won't become noticeable for a while. -
So, what makes him interesting? by
on 2014-01-31 10:19:00 UTC
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You've come up with a character, and that's always a good start. Now, as the writer, what aspects of him do you intend to draw out in your missions in order to make us interested in him?
(Yes, my post was just a restatement of the subject line. Shh ;))
hS -
Things that make him interesting. by
on 2014-01-31 17:04:00 UTC
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Well, he's a little unorthodox. Though looking around I realize that doesn't make him very unique.
He does have a few vulnerabilities that could fall victim to the Laws of Narrative Comedy rather easily. One of them is his dragonic nature. So many Sues out there seem to have some sort of dragonic ability, or power that makes them better than dragons. This is both a Berserk Button for him, as well as a weakness that even the most brain-dead Sue could likely exploit. -
Quirks! by
on 2014-02-01 17:00:00 UTC
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He most definitely does need some more interesting character traits. The slightly generic past and the large amounts of sarcasm are pretty much typical of agents.
Try giving him a quirk or two, like an irrational fear of chocolate or something. Well, probably something more sensible than that, but this is the PPC we're talking about here. -
Some quirks by
on 2014-02-03 19:45:00 UTC
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While I don't believe that quirks make a character, there are a few things that could qualify.
Mikelus is a sorcerer. For him, that means he has to spend several hours a day meditating and reflecting on himself to keep his powers going and keep him sane.
His dragonic blood manifested itself in a dragonic personality, often tempting him with promises of power or victory. While this personality is not evil, it is more chaotic good/neutral. On occasion, this personality causes Mikelus to mutter to himself or write down conversations the personalities are having mentally. -
Quirks =/= character. by
on 2014-02-01 17:59:00 UTC
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A character can have quirks, but you don't get a character just by sticking quirks on a person-shaped template. I see "character" as essentially made up of actions and reactions: How does this character approach particular challenges? What experiences does he seek out, and what does he avoid? What is his general outlook on life? How does he speak; what words does he use or not use? How does he respond to certain types of stress? How does he represent himself with his appearance? Et cetera and so forth.
And, the most important question of all: WHY? People act and react in certain ways for reasons, based on their upbringing, belief system, past experiences, etc. Very little about people is random. This should apply to characters, and is what makes them more than just a collection of traits.
To clarify, it's okay to give a character a little trait here and there just because it happens to catch your eye at the time (this is why Nume has green glasses), but it should still grow an answer to the question of "Why?" eventually. In fact, it probably will whether you like it or not, so beware!
See also: PoorCynic's Writing Workshops, so far covering character creation and speech. There's some really great advice in here.
~Neshomeh -
Motivations and reactions. by
on 2014-02-03 19:35:00 UTC
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Mikelus is a very formal person, preferring proper speech and carefully planned wordplay to quick outbursts, though he also has a love of sarcasm if he can fit it into a situation. This mostly stems from his position in his clan.
Given he is, for lack of a better term, a practically exiled prince of his clan, a lot of his motivations and psychological issues are related to proving himself and living up to expectations. For example, he hates to leave objectives incomplete, and takes a very serious approach to any task he's assigned. This would likely put him at odds with a less serious partner, and would probably make her more of a friend to the Flowers. After all, an agent that actually focuses on the duty as much as possible and takes the horrible assignments without complaint sounds like a Flower's dream.
Over time, he would probably learn to open up to his partner and others, his more frigid persona chipping away as he works over some of his issues/goes completely insane. -
One Question by
on 2014-01-30 23:45:00 UTC
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Just going to ask, seeing as you mentioned him becoming familiar with multiple canons are you looking at joining the Freelancee Division of the DMS or is there another specific area you were thinking of working in?
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Freelance (nm) (nm) by
on 2014-01-30 23:50:00 UTC
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