Subject: So, you'd like some Touhou fans to look over a friend's OC?
Author:
Posted on: 2014-01-08 18:52:00 UTC
I'm afraid I can't help you there, since I don't know the fandom, but hopefully putting that up in a post title where it's visible will attract some folks who can help. Good luck! {= )
~Neshomeh
Hello. I am mudkip77, having just made this account to post this. As of late (beginning in September 5th) one of my closest friends has embarked on the noble journey that is trying to write a decent Touhou fanfic.
I would like to say that he is doing well, which he somewhat is. In total, there are roughly 175K words at the time of this writing. However, despite his watching the series "Diamond in the Rough" (a similar concept to the PPC that brutally deconstructs Touhou-specific Mary Sues) careful study of the Sue phenomenon, and of course our constant supervision of the fic, I'm concerned he may be drifting closer to the Sue Event Horizon and shows few signs of stopping.
This is beginning to worry me. He is a very spontaneous person and has minimal care for protocol and anti-badfic measures. At most, he gives it lip service. At worst, he might be completely ignoring it. Both of us have performed the Litmus Test, but I'm afraid that because we both played a part in the character's creations, we have a slanted view of his traits and are heavily biased when testing.
My result from testing was 27, his was 21. We used the universal tester as well as the de-Sueifier to perform the test.
The fic in question is "Boundless World of Danmaku", hosted on FF.net and co-written by me and "Terrarian Creeper", his favoured alias, on the same account. If you were to PM him and ask for his Muse, I might be able to answer.
If anyone reading this could also go read through his fanfic (and preferably not tell him of this), it would be greatly appreciated. If I wasted your time posting this or have broken any rules posting this, my apologies. I simply needed to try and get this out onto a dedicated anti-Sue site as quickly as possible.
Thank you.
The link is:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9663412/1/Boundless-World-of-Danmaku
Remember that the key defining characteristic of a true Sue/Stu is that the entire universe/narrative revolves around them, that everyone pretty much exists for them. They stay firmly planted in the spotlight and even when they stray from it, everyone else can't stop talking about them or doing things in relation to them. Their strengths can vary, but their flaws will usually be brushed off even if, realistically, the other characters would not be so permissive. Hell, the flaws just serve to make them cooler/cuter/HAWTter/etc.
Not sure if it helps much, but maybe that can help you in analyzing your friend's character.
I firmly believe in something called a Sue Event Horizon, much like a black hole's even horizon - when an OC crosses that boundary, there's no going back. I'm quite confident that my friend has yet to cross the line yet, but he's approaching. Initially, he was very awkward with his writing, and while it IS improving, he's also begun to slip in his self-checks. It's entirely possible he eventually starts lying to himself and SOON, which would send him past the Sue Horizon and I'd need to terminate the fic when it became a badfic and it'd be messy all around. I've had to do it before... it wasn't pleasant.
All in all, his OC isn't quite a Sue yet, though I think he might be getting too close to that line for comfort. That's why I tried to see if any Touhou fans here could possibly read the fic and see if it's beginning to waver too much in his favour.
In effect, the fic is split up into halves at the moment; a war waged by most of the canon characters in their home territory, and the OC himself and some of the main characters working to defeat the one who started the war. It doesn't SEEM like a Sue birthplace, but the main perspective is told from the OC's point of view, which leaves us confused as to whether or not it counts as keeping them in the spotlight for too long. The two stories are somewhat separate, though I'm expecting to converge soon.
As a side note, we've set the OC up for a fall with a very, very painful impact. By the usual characteristic of a Sue, this shouldn't add to it (hopefully), though we're slated towards setting him up as a second story villain. My friend isn't too happy, but he should survive... Maybe they shouldn't forgive him. Would this be too brutal?
Last note, sorry about the wall of text.
I'm afraid I can't help you there, since I don't know the fandom, but hopefully putting that up in a post title where it's visible will attract some folks who can help. Good luck! {= )
~Neshomeh
Though really, anyone with a decent (maybe even less) grasp of the fandom and hopefully a Bachelor's in Anti-Sue would do. I'm not entirely sure if I should have come here or to the Sue Elimination Society, but I don't quite think he's reached the point the OC needs to be removed. That's why I posted it here.
If someone could read through it and perhaps give a critique on the Sue standing of his OC, it would certainly help to improve our work.
He's the only one here I know off the top of my head that knows Touhou very well, but I can look around.
Know a bit on the general setting and the most famous characters, and that's it.
Kinda from osmosis when some frineds of mine had a Touhou-obseessed phase.
Just a quick question; how do I contact him?
Or send him an e-mail, the PPC Beta Directory lists it as stginelli [snaillikethingy] gmail [dot] com
Thanks for letting me know. I've sent a message to him and am just waiting on the return. Again, thanks for the help.