Because everyone has a story they want to tell.

Subject: Because everyone has a story they want to tell.
Author: wobblestheclown
Posted on: 2014-01-01 11:51:00 UTC

It's not our place to tell someone not to write. It is, however, both our place and our moral duty to help someone improve as a writer via the PPC's methods of constructive criticism. It doesn't really matter how much something sucks; no idea is beyond redemption, nor story beyond salvation. We can help the author make it better, and we should. =]

Today, I shall mostly be channeling Pangloss.

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hooray for moar badfic. by 99Hedgehog on 2013-12-26 08:19:00 UTC Reply

In this thread, I give you a Suethor.

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3649975/Horny-bimbo

Don't even ask about the name. Just... look at the badfic. Everything up for grabs except for this:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9450779/1/Chloe-Chandler-Another-Disney-Story

The Sue is recurring, there is a "Great Wall" in the story (CALLING DOGA) and it's in script format. What.

Oh and I will be trying at permission. Soon. Once I have a fic to show.

The Emperor Protects!

This is... slightly alarming by Desdendelle on 2013-12-31 08:44:00 UTC Reply

In fact, were I the type that would panic because of fics... I'd be in full raving panic mode right now.
Heart of Darkness, rated T, by Cka3ka.
To summerise... it replaces Leia with one of the most speshul and OP Sues I've seen, makes Darth Vader unable to touch his canon self with a stick the length of the Executor, has numerous SPaG errors, throws lots of Star Wars canon out of the window... and is a whopping 49 chapters long. I've been thinking about sporking this fic for a long, long time, but it's a little intimidating, not to mention that I have other things on my plate right now.

...why. by 99Hedgehog on 2014-01-01 01:59:00 UTC Reply

Just... why. Why would someone do this?!

The Emperor... Protects.

Because everyone has a story they want to tell. by wobblestheclown on 2014-01-01 11:51:00 UTC Reply

It's not our place to tell someone not to write. It is, however, both our place and our moral duty to help someone improve as a writer via the PPC's methods of constructive criticism. It doesn't really matter how much something sucks; no idea is beyond redemption, nor story beyond salvation. We can help the author make it better, and we should. =]

Today, I shall mostly be channeling Pangloss.

Problem is... by Desdendelle on 2014-01-01 12:59:00 UTC Reply

... that this story is wrong on so many levels I fear it is a total loss. Dark Side!Leia, like a lot of AUs, can be done well. This isn't doing Dark Side!Leia well.

It might not be easy... by wobblestheclown on 2014-01-01 17:12:00 UTC Reply

But it'd definitely be worthwhile. Having read about the first 10 chapters of the fic (or tried to; the SPaG renders it incomprehensible at times), I think I can see what the author's trying to do, and while what I know about the minutiae of the Star Wars canon could be written on the back of a postage stamp in big letters, I think it's salvageable. It'd take a lot of effort, sure, and the end product might be unrecognisable, but to my mind that just makes it all the more worth doing. Like I said, I'm going down the Pangloss & Candide route to optimism, so everything'll turn out okay somehow. =]

Well... by Desdendelle on 2014-01-01 17:41:00 UTC Reply

I've read the story a few years ago, so I don't remember the details, but Vader can't touch canon with a eleven-thousand feet stick, the SPaG's bad and Leia is about as OP as a Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Sue.

All the more reason for us to fix it, then! =] (nm) by wobblestheclown on 2014-01-01 18:18:00 UTC Reply

well look what we have here by 99Hedgehog on 2013-12-30 07:31:00 UTC Reply

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9577142/1/The-Human-Phoenix

Heh by Desdendelle on 2013-12-30 10:57:00 UTC Reply

Just the first episode makes the 'fic look like its author used a charge-list as a check-list. The Sue is half fire elemental. The first paragraph of the story is a description of the Sue. Her parents were murdered by Voldie. She's the last of her (half-)kind. She's a canon's uncanonical relative. There are in-text author's notes in parentheses. There are SPaG errors and minis. That's just... hilarious. I hope the author will respond well to the review I left them.

*returns from the Pit* by Beekeeper Klein on 2013-12-30 04:57:00 UTC Reply

Happy holidays, everyone!

Sorry for not showing up for a while though.

Anyways, I went spelunking in the Pit for a few good weeks for something to spork once I got Permission, but it seems that instead I was scarred by a fic that ruined my fondest childhood memories. I don't know what to feel about the fic. It's not even horrible, just an old, cringeworthy OOC badfic.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3407109/2/AGENT-X

I'm trying to be objective here, but I have no idea what to do.

Having just read it... by wobblestheclown on 2013-12-30 08:45:00 UTC Reply

I'd recommend curling into a ball and sobbing.

I want the real Inspector Gadget back. (nm) by Beekeeper Klein on 2013-12-30 09:24:00 UTC Reply

Badfic again! by wobblestheclown on 2013-12-28 15:12:00 UTC Reply

I can't remember whether or not this has been dealt with, and my wiki-fu's drawn a blank, so without further ado...

(WARNING! NSFB! NSFW! NSF PEOPLE WHO WANT TO READ A BOOK AGAIN WITHOUT SOILING THEIR UNDERWEAR AND COLLAPSING IN AN UNCONTROLLABLE SOBBING FIT!)

http://xdallyx.webs.com/

FaCe ThE StRaNgE.

It's really capitalised like that.

It's downhill from there. Also almost certainly a troll, but I don't even care, it deserves nothing but death.

Woah by Storme Hawk on 2013-12-29 12:18:00 UTC Reply

This is bad, to the point where you're meant to click on a Belly to read a chapter (eww). I haven't even read nay of it yet either.
I stopped at the intro. by 99Hedgehog on 2013-12-29 01:28:00 UTC Reply

Good Emperor, man! I like my sanity you know!

Anyways, COMPLETELY implausible crossover, can't even.

Really, SHADOW. THE HEDGEHOG. WHAT THE BLOODY [CENSORED].

Look again, DRACO'S FATHER IS NOW A DEMENTOR. Anything is possible when you're writing badfic and ignoring the canon.

The Emperor Protects.

(do-do-de-dodedoDEDO)

WAIT HOOOLD IT. by 99Hedgehog on 2013-12-29 01:29:00 UTC Reply

LINK. IS. IN. IT.

THIS CANNOT STAND. THIS SHALL NOT STAND.

I would claim it but, y'now...

In similar vein... by wobblestheclown on 2013-12-27 10:14:00 UTC Reply

I don't know whether this has been dealt with, but I can't find it on the Unclaimed, Claimed, or Killed Badfics lists. This in mind, here's a journey into the mind of Erin Locklea, aka. erinofthecullenclan:-

ATTENTION! THE CONTENTS OF THIS FIC SERIES (YEAH, THERE'S ABOUT FIVE SEPARATE FICS IN THE BL SAGA) ARE EXTREMELY NSFB! CONSIDER THIS A WARNING!

http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/

Brewdening Love, everyone. A fanfic so bad that an entire community on Twilight Sucks became devoted to making it better. Also taking the mickey out of it like we were particularly vehement Disney lawyers.

Generic reply title: Well... by Desdendelle on 2013-12-27 15:35:00 UTC Reply

I'm calling troll on that one. Surely this isn't serious.

Oh, more than likely by wobblestheclown on 2013-12-27 16:24:00 UTC Reply

It's a bit moot, as the troll's not been writing for a while now. However, there has to be a point to trolling in order for it to be of any value, and these fics are utterly pointless. There is no reason for them to exist, their existence benefits nobody, and therefore I reckon they're fair game for us.

Generic reply title by Desdendelle on 2013-12-27 17:34:00 UTC Reply

Well, we do have a Troll Division.

Understood. (nm) by wobblestheclown on 2013-12-27 17:50:00 UTC Reply

Wow. by 99Hedgehog on 2013-12-27 10:15:00 UTC Reply

Dat art quality man.

The fics are worse. Stock up on these. (nm) by wobblestheclown on 2013-12-27 10:17:00 UTC Reply

First few sentences and... (nm) by 99Hedgehog on 2013-12-27 10:23:00 UTC Reply

Imma just leave this here... by 99Hedgehog on 2013-12-27 10:10:00 UTC Reply

http://www.quotev.com/story/4197131/Love-will-get-us-there-LOTR/

The writer thinks 'Fallohide' is a hobbit family when it is more of a subspecies. And that is only the start. Claim if you so wish.

The Emperor Protects!

STELLINA THE GREY?! by DawnFire on 2013-12-30 00:20:00 UTC Reply

Yes, that really did deserve the capslock. Especially when paired with the phrase "a feisty forgotten female wizard".

Not claiming, but eesh, that's bad.

~DF

I actually tried talking to her and gave her advice. by 99Hedgehog on 2013-12-30 02:07:00 UTC Reply

At least she didn't flip out at me and was accepting of criticism, we can give the author that. She said she was new to the fandom anyways.

The Emperor Protects!

Not claiming by Sevenswans on 2013-12-28 02:44:00 UTC Reply

(Because I have neither the time, nor the permission.)

But anyone who claims that ought to have a broom chasing a smile across the sue's face during the awful opening sentence. And agents should prepare to die of sue saccharine.

Excuse me by Desdendelle on 2013-12-26 16:51:00 UTC Reply

Enthusiasm is good, but excess is bad, and quite frankly I and some other people (Sergio Turbo, for example) think that you've bitten more than you can chew. Other words, you've claimed way too many 'fics.
Look at me for an example. I've been hanging around the PPC for a little more than two years. It took me a year to get Permission. In the following year, I wrote two interludes and four missions, two of which were co-writes. I have three 'fics claimed (two together with Firemagic) - of which one's mission is WiP, one's was scrapped (I should probably remove my claim for that one) and one's didn't quite even leave the drawing board yet. Aside from that WiP, I am also writing something for hS's Ispace Wars.
Even if you have the time, writing missions requires real effort, so be careful, OK?

I'll stop. (nm) by 99Hedgehog on 2013-12-27 00:30:00 UTC Reply
Point taken. (nm) by 99Hedgehog on 2013-12-27 00:09:00 UTC Reply

Small requests. by DemonFiren on 2013-12-26 09:47:00 UTC Reply

Admittedly without looking at the fics: Please label NSFW/NSFB as such where applicable (the first link reeks of it), name the fandom(s), and let me look if there isn't another badfic thread still on the front page.