Subject: Not claiming
Author:
Posted on: 2013-12-28 02:44:00 UTC
(Because I have neither the time, nor the permission.)
But anyone who claims that ought to have a broom chasing a smile across the sue's face during the awful opening sentence. And agents should prepare to die of sue saccharine.
In this thread, I give you a Suethor.
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3649975/Horny-bimbo
Don't even ask about the name. Just... look at the badfic. Everything up for grabs except for this:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9450779/1/Chloe-Chandler-Another-Disney-Story
The Sue is recurring, there is a "Great Wall" in the story (CALLING DOGA) and it's in script format. What.
Oh and I will be trying at permission. Soon. Once I have a fic to show.
The Emperor Protects!
In fact, were I the type that would panic because of fics... I'd be in full raving panic mode right now.
Heart of Darkness, rated T, by Cka3ka.
To summerise... it replaces Leia with one of the most speshul and OP Sues I've seen, makes Darth Vader unable to touch his canon self with a stick the length of the Executor, has numerous SPaG errors, throws lots of Star Wars canon out of the window... and is a whopping 49 chapters long. I've been thinking about sporking this fic for a long, long time, but it's a little intimidating, not to mention that I have other things on my plate right now.
Just... why. Why would someone do this?!
The Emperor... Protects.
It's not our place to tell someone not to write. It is, however, both our place and our moral duty to help someone improve as a writer via the PPC's methods of constructive criticism. It doesn't really matter how much something sucks; no idea is beyond redemption, nor story beyond salvation. We can help the author make it better, and we should. =]
Today, I shall mostly be channeling Pangloss.
... that this story is wrong on so many levels I fear it is a total loss. Dark Side!Leia, like a lot of AUs, can be done well. This isn't doing Dark Side!Leia well.
But it'd definitely be worthwhile. Having read about the first 10 chapters of the fic (or tried to; the SPaG renders it incomprehensible at times), I think I can see what the author's trying to do, and while what I know about the minutiae of the Star Wars canon could be written on the back of a postage stamp in big letters, I think it's salvageable. It'd take a lot of effort, sure, and the end product might be unrecognisable, but to my mind that just makes it all the more worth doing. Like I said, I'm going down the Pangloss & Candide route to optimism, so everything'll turn out okay somehow. =]
I've read the story a few years ago, so I don't remember the details, but Vader can't touch canon with a eleven-thousand feet stick, the SPaG's bad and Leia is about as OP as a Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Sue.
Just the first episode makes the 'fic look like its author used a charge-list as a check-list. The Sue is half fire elemental. The first paragraph of the story is a description of the Sue. Her parents were murdered by Voldie. She's the last of her (half-)kind. She's a canon's uncanonical relative. There are in-text author's notes in parentheses. There are SPaG errors and minis. That's just... hilarious. I hope the author will respond well to the review I left them.
Happy holidays, everyone!
Sorry for not showing up for a while though.
Anyways, I went spelunking in the Pit for a few good weeks for something to spork once I got Permission, but it seems that instead I was scarred by a fic that ruined my fondest childhood memories. I don't know what to feel about the fic. It's not even horrible, just an old, cringeworthy OOC badfic.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3407109/2/AGENT-X
I'm trying to be objective here, but I have no idea what to do.
I'd recommend curling into a ball and sobbing.
I can't remember whether or not this has been dealt with, and my wiki-fu's drawn a blank, so without further ado...
(WARNING! NSFB! NSFW! NSF PEOPLE WHO WANT TO READ A BOOK AGAIN WITHOUT SOILING THEIR UNDERWEAR AND COLLAPSING IN AN UNCONTROLLABLE SOBBING FIT!)
http://xdallyx.webs.com/
FaCe ThE StRaNgE.
It's really capitalised like that.
It's downhill from there. Also almost certainly a troll, but I don't even care, it deserves nothing but death.
This is bad, to the point where you're meant to click on a Belly to read a chapter (eww). I haven't even read nay of it yet either.
Good Emperor, man! I like my sanity you know!
Anyways, COMPLETELY implausible crossover, can't even.
Really, SHADOW. THE HEDGEHOG. WHAT THE BLOODY [CENSORED].
Look again, DRACO'S FATHER IS NOW A DEMENTOR. Anything is possible when you're writing badfic and ignoring the canon.
The Emperor Protects.
(do-do-de-dodedoDEDO)
LINK. IS. IN. IT.
THIS CANNOT STAND. THIS SHALL NOT STAND.
I would claim it but, y'now...
I don't know whether this has been dealt with, but I can't find it on the Unclaimed, Claimed, or Killed Badfics lists. This in mind, here's a journey into the mind of Erin Locklea, aka. erinofthecullenclan:-
ATTENTION! THE CONTENTS OF THIS FIC SERIES (YEAH, THERE'S ABOUT FIVE SEPARATE FICS IN THE BL SAGA) ARE EXTREMELY NSFB! CONSIDER THIS A WARNING!
http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/
Brewdening Love, everyone. A fanfic so bad that an entire community on Twilight Sucks became devoted to making it better. Also taking the mickey out of it like we were particularly vehement Disney lawyers.
I'm calling troll on that one. Surely this isn't serious.
It's a bit moot, as the troll's not been writing for a while now. However, there has to be a point to trolling in order for it to be of any value, and these fics are utterly pointless. There is no reason for them to exist, their existence benefits nobody, and therefore I reckon they're fair game for us.
Dat art quality man.
http://www.quotev.com/story/4197131/Love-will-get-us-there-LOTR/
The writer thinks 'Fallohide' is a hobbit family when it is more of a subspecies. And that is only the start. Claim if you so wish.
The Emperor Protects!
Yes, that really did deserve the capslock. Especially when paired with the phrase "a feisty forgotten female wizard".
Not claiming, but eesh, that's bad.
~DF
At least she didn't flip out at me and was accepting of criticism, we can give the author that. She said she was new to the fandom anyways.
The Emperor Protects!
(Because I have neither the time, nor the permission.)
But anyone who claims that ought to have a broom chasing a smile across the sue's face during the awful opening sentence. And agents should prepare to die of sue saccharine.
Enthusiasm is good, but excess is bad, and quite frankly I and some other people (Sergio Turbo, for example) think that you've bitten more than you can chew. Other words, you've claimed way too many 'fics.
Look at me for an example. I've been hanging around the PPC for a little more than two years. It took me a year to get Permission. In the following year, I wrote two interludes and four missions, two of which were co-writes. I have three 'fics claimed (two together with Firemagic) - of which one's mission is WiP, one's was scrapped (I should probably remove my claim for that one) and one's didn't quite even leave the drawing board yet. Aside from that WiP, I am also writing something for hS's Ispace Wars.
Even if you have the time, writing missions requires real effort, so be careful, OK?
Admittedly without looking at the fics: Please label NSFW/NSFB as such where applicable (the first link reeks of it), name the fandom(s), and let me look if there isn't another badfic thread still on the front page.