Subject: I know right?
Author:
Posted on: 2013-12-07 00:21:00 UTC
I keep having to convince Discword not to eat it...
You can MST it all you want.
I'd love to claim it, but I'm likely to only get permission in a few months, and I don't know if two newbie agents should be sent to this one...
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5902133/1/Life-of-Cristancia
This fic is... bad.
Like, My Immortal bad.
I'm not kidding you.
There is impossible sex, impossible rape, bad slash, a Mary Sue, like, fourteen crossovers and just...
Here's an excerpt from chapter two:
We all sat down and eat snacks we stole, actully they just gave me them cause I was so beautiful. Hermione need to change so did I, we made gthe boys leave, even though i really wanned ed to see me change. WHile me and hermoine changed, i felt wet and I tackled her on the ground. There i thrusted my butt into the air and smikred as i thrusted on to her. she licked me and i licked her ad then I turned into a lion and started sexing her. Then i turned back and pretended nothing happened and erased hermonines mammorys.
I tried MSTing it, but a person on the sight threatened to report me if I did, and I have some other fics up that I'd rather not lose.
I'd do it myself, but I don't have Permission (obviously) and won't apply for any for a couple months.
Also, I don't think I'm experienced enough to do so.
-LDP
Actually, scratch that. It is a trollfic. See the author's note:
"My friend told me this wasn't good and it looked like I trolled it, idk what that means, but... CRIS IS NOT A TROLL! SHE'S BEE-OOTY-FULL!"
*sniggers* I guess Cris is full of "BEE-OOTY". The excerpt you provided is both trollish and NSFW. And I heard you...claimed it? Be careful...be very, very careful. Here, have an urple shield to go with my newbie-gift-knife. Good luck!
~Autumn
I haven't claimed it... yet.
God, the word world are going to have fun with this, she talks to a wall at some point.
...what is this piece of unadulterated crap? Even Nurgle and Namira are disgusted.
I would love to MST this but you can claim it if you so wish...
The Emperor Protects...
I keep having to convince Discword not to eat it...
You can MST it all you want.
I'd love to claim it, but I'm likely to only get permission in a few months, and I don't know if two newbie agents should be sent to this one...
Hmm. Restrain him from doing that. The computer might not fit into him.
Anyway, I think you can give your newbie agents that fic as a first mission. It has been done before, see Agents Gypsy and Katie Cray of the Division of Bad Het. But I suppose they ARE the Division of Bad Het, so...
Also, HQ works according to Irony Overpower and the Narrative Laws of Comedy, which means they can assign newbies with particularly painful fics.
~Autumn
PS, I should put an NSFW tag here for Gypsy and Katie's mission report. If you can't stomach works like that, DONT. READ.
...and I have claimed about 5-6 stories already. You can claim it without permission.
The Emperor Protects!
Perhaps I shall claim it...
To the wikia!
I think that I'll wait until my friend and I have created more concrete characters :)
You quoted something that can be taken as being fairly sexually explicit, so... For that, we have the NSFW tag.
Now, on to the fic itself... Just that excerpt alone is really bad...
*reads*
Hm...
Y'know, I feel like this fic is supposed to be a parody. There are times in the first chapter where the story seems too self-aware of its contradictions for it to be genuine. I'm especially thinking of parts where she says "I was the reincarnation of Naruto even though he's not dead", and then there are other parts that are a little too well-written for comfort. So I dunno, I feel like she was going for a parody here.
Of course, there's a reason the PPC has the Department of Bad Parody. In this case, it doesn't succeed as a parody because it sits too close to that kind of My Immortal-style fanfic for comfort. There's a fine line between imitating something and parodying it, and unfortunately this author is on the side of imitation. So it still qualifies as badfic, mostly because the parody just doesn't work.
Oh, wait, you told the person you were going to MST it? Dude, telling someone that you're snarking their fic is something you should rarely do. A lot of people will tell you that, mostly because badfic authors take it very badly when they find out that someone has been mocking their fic. There are a few authors that do see why their fic is bad, but a vast majority of them tend to take it as a personal insult. So often, MSTers have a code of not saying anything. (Some authors will inevitably find out you MST'd their stuff anyway, but you don't want to attract lots of drama to your MST, trust me.)
Also, don't listen to her when she tells you "IMMA REPORT YOU DUR HUR HUR". I don't know how strict the admins at The Pit are, but I know from having been on the Pit for several years that the only way that reporting is going to be effective is if she gets it to the point where people crash the servers. The admins on the Pit are notorious for how rarely they enforce their TOS. And besides, if they are better about taking down MSTs, there are other outlets that you can put your MST on that the admins of The Pit can't even touch. You could always post that MST to a GoogleDoc and put it here.
I posted the tag in a frantic response. Sorry about that.
I was upset, and it wasn't her who wanted me to take it down, it was a person who spends a lot of time on the Just In section. The author actually wanted me to post the MST. The reason why I think it's legit is that in our PM conversation she actually requested concrit, and I'm not sure a parodist would do that.
That MST is a collab between a friend and myself. I shall see when we can start it up again.
I think the DoBP should look at it, but I'm just a poster here.
Gets us sometimes when we post for the first time.
Wait, so it was some random person who read your review and thought "OH NOES I SHOULD STOP THAT"? I just... Wow. Let me put it this way: what kind of pompous ass just decides to randomly be all "IF YOU DO THIS I'M GONNA REPORT TO THE ADMINS HUR HUR HUR HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR". I can understand the authors themselves getting miffed at an MST of their stuff, but why is it that some random person feels the need to get involved in things that frankly aren't any of his/her business? If the author's offended, let the author themselves deal with it! Jesus!
Hm... Well, I have heard it said that it's harder to pull off comedy than it is to pull off serious work, so maybe she just wanted critique on her parody. I dunno...
But yeah. There's all that.
It's this person who apparently does it a LOT. Like, she has a FAQ in her bio for why she does it. I eventually took it down, but postly because her pestering was getting annoying.
The thing with this fic though is that it's just kind of mind melting.
I would review it myself, but a)I don't have Permission b) I DONT know if I'm good enough to write something like this.
Sorry for not mentioning that in the original post.