Subject: First, your post needs a NSFW tag.
Author:
Posted on: 2013-12-06 23:25:00 UTC
You quoted something that can be taken as being fairly sexually explicit, so... For that, we have the NSFW tag.
Now, on to the fic itself... Just that excerpt alone is really bad...
*reads*
Hm...
Y'know, I feel like this fic is supposed to be a parody. There are times in the first chapter where the story seems too self-aware of its contradictions for it to be genuine. I'm especially thinking of parts where she says "I was the reincarnation of Naruto even though he's not dead", and then there are other parts that are a little too well-written for comfort. So I dunno, I feel like she was going for a parody here.
Of course, there's a reason the PPC has the Department of Bad Parody. In this case, it doesn't succeed as a parody because it sits too close to that kind of My Immortal-style fanfic for comfort. There's a fine line between imitating something and parodying it, and unfortunately this author is on the side of imitation. So it still qualifies as badfic, mostly because the parody just doesn't work.
Oh, wait, you told the person you were going to MST it? Dude, telling someone that you're snarking their fic is something you should rarely do. A lot of people will tell you that, mostly because badfic authors take it very badly when they find out that someone has been mocking their fic. There are a few authors that do see why their fic is bad, but a vast majority of them tend to take it as a personal insult. So often, MSTers have a code of not saying anything. (Some authors will inevitably find out you MST'd their stuff anyway, but you don't want to attract lots of drama to your MST, trust me.)
Also, don't listen to her when she tells you "IMMA REPORT YOU DUR HUR HUR". I don't know how strict the admins at The Pit are, but I know from having been on the Pit for several years that the only way that reporting is going to be effective is if she gets it to the point where people crash the servers. The admins on the Pit are notorious for how rarely they enforce their TOS. And besides, if they are better about taking down MSTs, there are other outlets that you can put your MST on that the admins of The Pit can't even touch. You could always post that MST to a GoogleDoc and put it here.