Subject: Having read the first five chapters...
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Posted on: 2013-11-11 03:56:00 UTC

I have to say I'm enjoying it so far. Writing-wise, it's not world-class literature or anything, but it's pretty good, and definitely leagues better than the average fanfic.

I think its worst sin character-wise is that it's a little too on the nose sometimes, like when Rainbow Dash compliments Scootaloo on her loyalty. Moments like that make me go bluh, but I'd rather have it try too hard and be a little blunt about stuff than not try hard enough and get things plumb wrong.

Also, I think the story is set up pretty well, and (so far) Nyx hasn't totally dominated it. It's (again, so far) mostly focused on Twilight and the others reacting to her and, if they know what's going on, making up their minds how to deal with the situation. I think the struggle of "could be Nightmare Moon reincarnated" vs. "definitely a cute, scared little filly right now" is pretty believable.

I'm not sure the complaint of only established bullies not liking Nyx is a very strong one in a universe built on the power of kindness, understanding, and friendship. Plus, it's not like Twilight and Rarity (the only two in the know yet) instantly fall in love at first sight. I believe Nyx actually wins them over by her actions, not just because the plot says so. If it goes on like that, I can't imagine I'll have a problem with it.

For all I know it'll go steeply downhill before the end, and since there are 22 chapters it's got plenty of time to disappoint me, but I'd say it's worth a shot. {= )

~Neshomeh

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