I did some work on the descriptions, and I think I got it better this time. Below is a longer excerpt from my manuscript, which includes the description sections. What do you think of it, Neshomeh?
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When Volt arrived in Fuchsia City, he immediately started feeling like he was attracting too much attention. Passersby, noticing Volt’s unusual clothing, started muttering amongst themselves:
“Who is that man?”
“Maybe he’s an actor? But isn’t Schpielbunk in Virbank City this year?”
“Is he a Trainer for Koga’s Gym?”
“Impossible: that doesn’t look like a ninja outfit at all. Maybe he’s a Coordinator.”
“That’s what they call artsy nowadays?”
“Mommy, that man looks funny!”
“It’s not polite to point, honey.”
Fortunately for Volt, he did not have to add to his embarrassment by asking for directions, as after walking straight ahead for a few blocks, he saw the building Kaiser described, located right in the middle of the street.
Entering the Pokémon Center doors, Volt saw a reception desk, behind which stood a pink-haired woman wearing a pink dress under a white apron. On her head was a hat with a blue cross on the front. Standing beside her was a Chansey, which was wearing the same type of hat as the human it was accompanying.
“Good morning, ma’am,” Volt said. Looking around at the nearly-empty building, he asked, “Did, uh, someone come here looking for me?”
“Not that I remember, no,” the woman replied. “Are you supposed to be meeting someone here?”
“I was supposed to be meeting someone who works for Professor Oak.”
A look of realization came upon the woman’s face. “So you must be Volt Luster!”
“How did you know my name?” Volt asked.
She replied, “Kaiser called ahead and said that ‘a peach-haired musclehead with weird clothin’ called “Volt Luster”’ would be coming here to meet an aide of Professor Oak. And you certainly fit that description.”
“Weird” certainly described Volt’s garb; it was by no means common to Kanto. Draped over Volt’s shoulders was a collared white cape with orange highlights. Yellow fur lined the inside of the collar. When Volt walked in, the woman thought that he was wearing a long cloak, but given a closer look, she saw that the “cloak” was actually two capes, one draped around his shoulders, and another presumably extending from the waist. Underneath the upper cape was what seemed to be a black T-shirt with a neckline that started under the collarbone, with a gold zipper up the middle. The shirt extended past the waist, where there was a wide brown belt with a silver pentagon-shaped buckle.
“Well, since you know apparently know my name already, what is yours?” Volt asked.
“You can call me Nurse Joy; everyone does,” the woman replied.
Volt noticed a picture on the wall behind Nurse Joy. The picture showed a multitude of women, all wearing the same outfit, and all looking exactly like the nurse.
“What is that picture back there?” asked Volt.
“Oh, that?” Nurse Joy replied. “That’s just a picture from our latest family reunion. It was a pretty small one, though; only the Joys from Kanto showed up.”
What? There are identical copies of this same woman all over Kanto? Volt thought. Even Vestal doesn’t have cloning technology!
“It was not that we didn’t try to invite other Joys, you know. I remember sending out invites to my second cousin once removed in Nimbasa City and to my third cousin in Castelia City,” Nurse Joy continued. “They also look like me, by the way.”
What?! “That’s quite an … interesting family you have there,” Volt said.
Okay, so we’re not dealing with clones. Either this family has some weird genetics or some pretty exacting aesthetic standards. Whatever it is, I don’t want to know, and I hopefully won’t be on this planet long enough to find out.
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I moved the description of the rest of his garb to another part of the story, since it will remain unchanged when he changes into more Kanto-style clothing.
