Subject: Very nice.
Author:
Posted on: 2013-10-18 21:49:00 UTC

I really enjoyed both of these stories.

The "late for an important event" fic put me in mind of both Lovecraft and a horror tabletop RPG called Deadlands. The juxtaposition of the people in the study and Tabitha running through the streets was very well done. Each of the characters had some little detail about themselves presented to the reader: Edward never smiles, Ophelia's arthritis, and so on. I assume Tabitha is the planned-out character?

The "responding to criticism' fic strikes me as something that could stand in the PPC all by itself. Not only could, but should. We don't typically see the kinds of agents who adhere so strictly to one version of the canon; agents that considered even the slightest deviation for the purposes of entertainment wrong. It's an interesting concept that I really want to see more done with.

I like the back-and-forth between the Hyacinth and Paul. It's sharp and to the point.

One minor thing: "...the things with the red eyes that glowed in the night" struck me as being a bit awkward in its structure. If she can see that the eyes are red at night, doesn't that already indicate that they're glowing?

I hope my tips and prompts helped you get a tighter grip on your characters. Nice work!

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