Subject: Er, thoughts.
Author:
Posted on: 2013-10-11 01:29:00 UTC

Okay, I'm a bit concerned here. I'll take my cue from hS and leave the PG hat off for now, but I can give you some concrit on your characters - and as an answer to your question about posting your characters specifically before a formal request... I'd prefer you didn't - at least, not over and over again. Once - this, for example - shouldn't be too bad. And remember, this is a writing organization, not an RP, so we're looking more at seeing them written than just sketched profiles.

My biggest beef with Eredan is that he still doesn't seem like an LotR character. He seems rather like a Fantasy or a D&D character who got plopped into that continuum. Mercenaries weren't really a big thing, from what I remember, except for the Southrons, perhaps. Why would a mercenary have a Numenorean sword? What do you mean by a Numenorean sword? The rest of his character I'll leave to hS, who's far better at LotR than I. Your others... h'm.

Norkas the Lonely... to put it bluntly, he looks a lot like a Stu. I can't think of any reason for an Argonian to be thousands of years old. Even the Heroes aren't supposed to live thousands of years, except for a handful of very excellent canon reasons. He should have a profession - 'Wanderer' is not a living. Adventurer would be a bit better, but just wandering around is not so viable. Combine all that with his weapons, which are honestly quite a bit high on the Speshul scale, and you've got a character I'd be very, very hesitant to pass off as a PPC agent.

I don't know Archer, but let me try and give you a couple general pointers. It's not always easy to make OCs from scratch, especially the first time, and I know my first OCs, especially game-based, were about the same.

First, their appearance and equipment are sidenotes. Think about your friends, your family - what makes them so important to you? Not their hair, not their jacket, not the necklace they inherited from their grandparents. It's their personality, their mannerisms, who they are. Their clothes and hair and height and the equipment of their various skills are part of who they are, but they're pieces of a puzzle, not the whole.

While reading a Skyrim fanfic, if you came across an Argonian whose introduction was a paragraph about his swords and clothing, and his coloration, followed by a few lines that explained that he was mysteriously ageless and a humourless fellow... I'm betting you wouldn't be very emotionally invested in the character. If you came across a character whose dialogue was interesting - blunt, dour, somewhat haughty, but witty enough to be able to joke and laugh - you'd be a bit more interested. And then, somewhere down the line, it's revealed that he lived through the White-Gold Concordat, and the bloodshed that followed... now he's got depth, now you're interested.

You see what I mean? What your character is wearing doesn't matter so much - what matters is why they wear their hair braided like that (because appearance matters to them), and why they have that ratty old jacket, even though they could clearly afford better (appearance matters to them, but the jacket was something given to them by a dear friend, now dead), and not that they have a really awesome sword, but what they do with that sword, and why, and who they are under the dwemer-alloy and the Destruction school, and the green-gray scales.

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