You are much better at writing a defeat/resistance scenario than I've ever been (which is why I've tried to avoid it in my own Histories on either side). You manage to evoke both fear and determination in Oopart's movements in the first part, and then follow it up with an extremely realistic (if I can use the term) portrayal of how the Department of Resistance might work. Jof's contribution is ingenious, and I was genuinely moved by the Tomb and the Lists.
I noticed a whole heap of both explicit references ('Why we sing it we don't know/We can't make the words rhyme properly!') and what appear to be 'inspired by' sections. Two in particular caught my eye. First, Oopart's reading of the List was similar to Vimes' Disorganiser in Jingo, with its final list of 'death of [Name]... death of [Name]'. Actually I think you missed a trick here - the impact of that list would have been greater if you put Lux's name right at the end, as a sort of climax (if you'll pardon the pun). I think if it ran as it does, but ended with 'Zim. Otik Horak. Luxury.', it would drive home the emotional point (that no-one is safe just by being a long-term character) even better. (I'm not sure this actually was an 'inspired by', but it evokes the same feel)
The other reference I picked up on particularly was the Hippie Sequoia's sacrifice/defence. Okay, he quotes Gandalf, but that's not what I mean. I'm thinking of the actions of Jedi Master Ood Bnar during the fall of Ossus, in the Star Wars Expanded Universe. He, too, turns himself into a rooted tree with the knowledge that it will kill him, in order to save something of greater value to him than his life.
And... well, if you are referencing/inspired by that, it might be a good idea to note something of the sort in your disclaimer. We recently read the account of the Cassandra Claire Plagiarism Debacle, and not noting that she'd taken whole heaps of quotes from other sources was one of the catalysts for that. Kaitlyn says that she had a whole file of Cassie Claire quotes saved - with no knowledge at the time that most of them weren't hers.
You're no Cassie Claire (thank the stars!), and the Sequoia's scene is very powerful in its own right, even without knowing the (possible) inspiration. But if you've done a similar thing in other places, it would be nice to know about it.
Okay, enough twitchy!hS. I liked 'Don't like, don't eat'! I also thought you did very well with the attack, but also with the little things: lines like 'She was not one of the lucky ones.' are very powerful, because you're evoking the common idea that 'The ones who died were the lucky ones' without actually saying it - because it doesn't need saying, because your audience already knows that.
And that ending... very well-paced, very suitably disastrous. Like I said - I'm impressed! And the little details (such as the perpetual watermill) keep on coming, even when the plot speeds up. So all in all - well done, and I can't wait to see the next part.
hS
(PS: Once The Trousers of Time, Triple Prime and Catastrophe Theory have more written about them, I think we definitely need a non-canonical collision of all the different time-travellers and their associates... ~hS)